Jen has this great post that got me to thinking...
I think the chaos that I've experienced has done more to cause great inhibitions in me than anything else that has ever happened in my Life... I don't have any sex hang ups from when I was a kid... self discovery and all of that stuff... and staying way too busy when I probably should have been doing homework or something...
I remember a one-sided rage where I was told by my then loving wife (cough cough)...
"You are lucky to have me... no one else would have you... you are ugly... you are fat... you are undesirable... you are no good in bed..."
Man... you should see the guy she's involved with now... YIKES!!!!!!
And so on... Its amazing that my baggage doesn't come from my childhood, but from the "Year From Hell"... It's amazing the power that ones words can have over us...
So... it is inhibitions that I need to beat... I need to stop thinking that I am not worthy... or capable...
But I'm eventually going to be 'OK'...
By the way... I sure hope Jen finishes that story...
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Every one is worthy of love.
ReplyDeleteYour "thank god" ex wife is a very insecure person if, after she has you in a marriage with children, jobs, house, stuff, she lets you know you are not worthy of her. She operated from lack of self worth that she had to justify her vitriol by tearing you down.
What did she do for personal entertainment, tear out the nails of the family puppy, tear the wings off flies? Sheesh
My curse... er thoughts for her would be: May all your many lovers be interesting.
That will cook her goose!