"2009... In Closing..."

Well... what a year...


I was dating 'Libby' this time last year... things were going 'ok'... whatever that means...


'Q' wasn't on the horizon yet... 'L' had yoyo'ed in and out so much... I was insane for thinking that anything could ever exist between us... 'Amanda'... YIKES!!!!!  That's all I'm going to say about that at this time... is "YIKES!!!!"


As far as my family goes, BoyRedShoes is doing so well... I am SO excited for him and the prospects that lay ahead for him...  I don't share the same level of excitement for GirlRedShoes...  She just seems to be stuck in an endless loop of making the worst decisions... I do love her so... but I wish she would figure things out...


My career... I love what I do... it's the best thing I've ever done... being a professor... I worked with my family for some years... we own a scrap metal recycling plant... left that business because of family stress to become a stock broker... what the fuck was I thinking?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!


That had to be one of my classic missteps in my Life... The stress was so much greater... then I settled into teaching... I teach finance and economics... I love what I do... with a passion... in the years I've been doing this, I can't recall one time that I ever woke up and didn't want to go to work...


I am blessed...


But... I would so love for someone special to enter my world... and that she be a borderline nympho... no...wait... take the 'borderline' part out...


Happy New Year to everyone...


~shoes~

"Driving"

I was returning from a road trip yesterday... somewhere in Arkansas on I-40 westbound... and I happened upon "Papaw" and "Memom"... I'm not a 'speeder', but I do tend to settle in to a speed and keep that going...


I eased over into the passing lane and was right beside them when I saw that "Papaw" was coming over into my lane... I beeped my horn, trying to get his attention and started looking for ways out in the event that he kept coming my way...


"Papaw" turns his head... looks at me... and smiles and waves and continues into my lane... and into me, if I don't take some kind of evasive action...

Thank God the median was well packed... closely mowed grass... I eased off on the left hand side of the interstate right off the road... and "Papaw" begins slowing down.... why, I have no idea...


And for some reason I look into my rear view mirror of my Mitsubishi SUV and see an empty log truck beginning to  jack knife into my direction... he has locked his brakes and his tires are smoking... and he's heading straight for me... even though I am off the pavement...

Seeing that, I punch the accelerator and move forward and out of the trucker's way... that allows him to come off his brakes and move through the chaos caused by "Papaw" without jack-knifing his rig and hitting and killing me and other folks...


This really isn't a rant about senior drivers, because I've been run off the road by 
teenagers texting while driving more than I can count...



Now... the photo to the right has absolutely nothing to do with anything 
being stated in this post... but she did come up through my search for
photos of 'old people driving'... so there...


It just sucks though when others are put at risks for the actions of someone that just isn't paying attention...


Side note:  There is a funeral here in my hometown  today for a 25-yo musician who leaves a wife and a daughter... he was texting while driving and lost control of his car...   That's a serious penalty for doing something that he knew better about...


~shoes~

"Cha-Cha-Cha-Changes..."

I guess that's how you would spell that lyric from the David Bowie song...


This is my favorite David Bowie song... it's not "Changes"...





Secretia has a thread going on her blog about "changes"...


In December, 2008, we had our annual Christmas Party for our area at the Alluvial Flood Plain State University... and one of my friends... one of my colleagues... several of us made the comment that, "damn he doesn't look good..."


He had a doctor's appointment the next week... and just several weeks later, on Christmas Day... he died...  he had pancreatic cancer... we don't know that he ever thought he was sick...


His wife and I have been friends forever and a day... went to kindergarten together... grade school... high school...


Her Dad died Christmas Day, 2009... I wonder how she will view the rest of the Christmases she has to experience...  Will they ever be happy for her again??


We tend to think of time as being a "looping" process... we say things like, 'this time next year... '  like it will be the same... only a year away...


One of my favorite books is "The Path To Tranquility"... daily wisdoms compiled by the Dalai Lama... and one of them says this...


"Time never waits but keeps flowing.  Not only does time flow unhindered, but correspondingly our lives too keep moving onward all the time."


"If something goes wrong, we cannot turn back time and try again.  In that sense, there is no genuine second chance."  


I like that... I really like that...


~shoes~

"The Ghost of Christmases Past..."

This spirit always seems to rear its head just before Thanksgiving, for my Mom died on the Saturday before Thanksgiving... a Holiday on which Mom should be working in the kitchen to feed her family and bringing the meaning of Holiday to our household...


Now that Dad has been gone almost fourteen years... and Ive been divorced now thirteen years... the Holidays have changed. Somehow time is supposed to make things easier, but it doesn't... I seem to miss Mom and Dad more every year... every day...

It's a rainy, messy day here in the Mississippi Delta today... we've been under flash flood warnings all day... heavy heavy rains... but the tornadic activity that had been forecasted didn't make it to our area...

So, I went to the grocery store to get the things that I will need to make Christmas Eve Dinner for my son and his girlfriend... my daughter isn't making it home for Christmas this year... the first Christmas that I will have missed having her around... but she's married... she has her own Life... it's ok, I suppose... but I did fight back tears earlier when we talked on the phone... My Life is changing...

After making all of the rounds earlier, I went to see Mom and Dad... and left flowers for them... and I cried... I hope that I made Christmas as special for my children as my Mom and Dad did for me... but I fear that their Mom has left them jaded about the Holidays... at times, I sense a great indifference in them about the Holidays... and when the day comes that I am no longer here, and Christmas rolls around, will they remember how much Dad loved them and how much he loved Christmas?? And will they honor Christmas somewhat just because Dad did love it so??

I have this 'Yogi Bear' stuffed animal, and a 'Mister Magoo' car... that 'Santa' brought me distant childhood Christmases ago... and I wonder how Mom must have felt when she would look through things and think, "I bet Jimmy would like this!" Both of these items are under my Tree tonight...

I miss the Christmases that Mom and Dad provided for me... and I miss the Christmases that I helped to provide for my little 'shoe' kids...


And I try each year to make Christmas special for them...


And maybe some day years down the road... they will think... "It's Christmas... Dad always loved it so..."


If you have a few moments read this... it's very touching, I think...




Merry Christmas, Mom and Dad...


Merry Christmas to any of you that read this...




~shoes~

Tiger Woods

Remember the other day when I said there would be no more posts about Tiger Woods?
Well... i lied I think...

Secret Santa!!!

Something really really really neat happened tonight...  It was just one of those things that... happened!!!!
I went to my favorite Mezkin restaurant here in town... really good food... REALLY REALLY great margaritas... YUM!!!!!


And... across the room from me was a table of little ladies... late 60s to early 70s... 
and they were all decked out in their Red Hat Society hats and garb... except for one...
They were having the GRANDEST time... and at some point, the little ladies started pulling bags out from under their table... and presenting them to the lady without the Red Hat gear...


So, I figure that they are letting her into their 'club'... their 'enclave'.... and the little lady was SO excited...


Hell.. I wanted to play... and I got this great Idea...

I asked my waiter about which waiter was taking care of their table... and he told me that he was... and I told him...


When they are finished, I want their ticket... bring it to me... and tell them nothing other than they were treated by Santa Claus...


I am probably being selfish... It really wasn't about me... it was about them being treated... they were all doing for this one lady... and I wanted to do for them...  Their excitement and happiness was totally unanticipated...


I'm going to look for opportunities to do this more often!!!


~shoes~

Music...

I am much a frustrated musician...  so that makes me sexually frustrated... musically frustrated... I'm sure there are a host of others that are just eluding me right now... 

It's difficult to live in the Mississippi Delta and NOT feel the music from this area...  Robert Johnson... Muddy Waters... Howling Wolf... and many many many many others...  its insane to think of the professional musicians that I have met just from being from this area...

I remember when the British Invasion happened... after the introduction of the BeaTles to the United States... we had bands like The Rolling Stones (name from a Muddy Water's song), The Animals, The Yardbirds, and many many others that were citing the Mississippi Delta as the source of their musical inspiration...




I remember the first time I ever heard "Crossroads" by Cream... listening to Jack Bruce singing about "going down to Rosedale..."  and thinking... "Damn... how'd they know about Rosedale?!?!?!"  Of course, I wasn't aware enough to realize that "Crossroads" was their cover of an old Robert Johnson song...  

And of course, "Crossroads" refers to the intersection of Highways 61 & 49... supposedly the sight where Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil for guitar playing skills... Story has it that Robert Johnson was booed out of a juke joint because he was so bad... a few weeks later he played again and everyone was in awe of how much he had improved... and the story was born...

 "Highway 61" has always been referred to as the Blues Highway, because that was the path that many of the old bluesmen took in order to get away from menial cotton-picking jobs, and having a real attempt at making some serious money in the clubs in Memphis, St. Louis, and Chicago...  The Memphis Blues does differ from the St. Louis Blues as they do from the Chicago Blues... different influences...


When I would read about my favorite guitarists, among them Eric Clapton and Jimi Hendrix, they would always cite Buddy Guy as their main influence...  Buddy Guy has to be the least known best guitar player I've ever heard and had the honor to see perform...


Whenever friends and I get together.. jams sessions invariably break out... and one of the songs we love playing the most is an old B. B. King song...  this one... if you have about nine minutes.. watch this video...




It's BB King and Gary Moore playing together... Gary Moore was the guitarist for 'Thin Lizzy'...


B.B. was born and raised just a few miles over that-a-way... (points that-a-way)... 


Music has become such a large part of my life... if I weren't a frustrated college professor, I would probably be a REALLY frustrated working musician...

"Fukt Up Friday Night..."

OK... you get to choose... both are true... both happened today...


#1


The woman who told me a few weeks ago... that she didn't love me... didn't want to see me anymore...


and who texted me just last week... to tell me she was seeing someone else... and was very happy...


Called me tonight...


I did NOT answer the phone...


#2


The pull-chain light switch on my ceiling fan died... just quit working.. so I went and bought a replacement... thought... "how difficult can this be?"


Welllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll...................................


I wired the new one up the way the old one was wired... and it didn't work...


WTF?!?!?!?!


So I changed a couple of wires around... and it didn't work...


WTF?!?!?!?!


So I changed the wires around yet again... it was a three-wire switch... so there were all kinds of combinations and permutations that could exist...


And it didn't work...
and about that time... I got to thinking...


Whats the probability of all FOUR bulbs being burned out at the same time???


Well.. it was pretty high... because that's exactly what it was... talk about feeling dumb!!!


Poot...


~shoes~

"Christmas Traditions..."

When I was lil RedShoes, I would always get SO excited when Mom would start to get the Christmas decorations out...  And she would always let my brothers and me pick out one ornament to hang on the tree... they were all glass for the most part... and very fragile...

My mostest favorite ornament... one I looked forward to hanging on the tree EACH and EVERY year... was a red glass ball with a painted reindeer running across a snowcovered field... I covet that ornament... that was MY ornament...


And somewhere, it got lost... or broken... When Mom died, one of my brothers named himself the owner of all of the great decorations... so maybe he has it... he knows that part of the Christmas ritual every year is that  Shoes is going to ask if he's got the red reindeer ornament...

I guess I lost track of caring about the red reindeer ornament, other than to bore the Redshoe kids about it each year when we would decorate the Christmas tree... but when I divorced... and was putting my Life back together... the first year I put up a tree, I wanted a red reindeer ornament...


Every year I look for new ornaments for my Christmas tree.. and I mark the year I buy them on the bottom of the ornament... so that I will know when I became the owner of that decoration... I have found ALL kinds of reindeer ornaments... some of them are even red... but I haven't found THAT ornament... I figure some yard sale... some old antique place some year... I will walk in and there will be my ornament...


I shopped for the RedShoe "Kids" yesterday... wound up buying a whole crap load of ornaments... but no reindeer ones... But I suppose I will look tomorrow...

I love Christmas... it's my Mother's Fault...

"Girl RedShoes"

I have this daughter... if it isn't obvious from the way that I have talked about her, I love her very very much...

We have this great understanding between us...

I knew things were going to be 'different' when the OB/GYN had assured us that this baby was going to be a boy... and it wound up a girl... I didn't mind... she was healthy...

She had a verbally/emotionally/physically abusive Mom...

I'm not sure that her Mom could help it... because SHE had a verbally/emotionally/physically abusive Mom...

The Mrs Ex RedShoes was born in Germany...  her Mom was a young woman in Germany during WWII... Nanny (I will call her that because that's what we called her)(tip of the hat to Jen)... I can't imagine living in a country at war... where war is being waged IN your country... Germany at that time was being bombed back to the Stone Age... if you are versed in Economics, we were trying to collapse their Production Possibilities Curve... The British RAF bombed at night (they got the breaks) and the American Army Air Corp bombed during the daytime... they made easy targets for the German Luft Waffe...

Anyway...

During a bombing raid on Frankfurt, Nanny's mother and some family members were killed... and Nanny became the matriarch of what was left of that family at a very young age... she did what was necessary to keep the family together... I don't blame Nanny for being the way she was... she had to survive...

I don't necessarily blame my ex for being the way she was... she grew up in a household with a woman who HAD to survive... I am sure that Nanny had some form of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome...

I guess I don't really blame anyone, per se... I am just explaining why things were the way they were...

There were any number of times that I would come home from work, and Mrs Ex RedShoes would be yelling and screaming at GRS... and slapping and hitting her... I would always intervene...  The ex also did this to BRS... and to me... (not the physical abusive part... but there are always scars... that's part of my problem today... but I digress)...

While at the MSMS, in addition to tattoos and piercings, GRS developed an unhealthy relationship with alcohol...  the first time she got into trouble there was over alcohol...

She got into trouble there several times there due to alcohol... one of my biggest regrets is that I didn't bring her home the first time she got in trouble... hmmm...

Several years later, GRS comes to my office to see me... she was a student at Alluvial Flood Plains State University... where I teach... and she tells me, "Dad... I have an alcohol problem..." 

'Well, DUH!!!!,' was my mental response... the actual response was that I got up and hugged her... and told her I knew that...

Anyway.... to not get bogged down here... over the course of the next year and a half... GRS is stopped for DUI four times... she is ticketed three times... and receives two convictions...

Upon learning of the third ticket... and not knowing how to cope... handle all of this, I took a legal pad and went to her apartment... sat at a table with her... and asked her to "write down what she wants..."

She took the pad and pen... and asked... "what do you mean, Dad?"

I told her... "At the rate you are going... you are going to kill yourself... and when that happens, I won't be able to function... I want you to write out for me what you want your funeral to be like... tell me what dress you want me to bury you in... tell me what music you want... because when this happens, I won't be able to think..."

We cried... we hugged... and we cried some more...  but I guess what scared me more than anything else... was the fact that she could kill someone while driving under the influence... and I told her that would be as difficult to experience as it would be to lose her...

I guess what I am saying here... is that I would never ever abandon my daughter... I always want to be a constant in her Life... that if the wheels come off... and she needs input... she can call me...she can rely on me to be there...

Sometimes, having someone there is a good thing...

Tattoos and Other Stuff

Part of the beginning of the "Great Train Wreck" that was my Life in '96 had to do with issues with Girl Red Shoes (GRS).  She was always a great 'Straight A' student in school... and when she learned that there was a School here in Mississippi for Math and Science (MSMS), she wanted to attend.  She went through all of the screening and was readily accepted.  The school is housed on the campus of one of our state universities and is a residential high school.  Students get to complete their junior and senior years of education here.


I remember the day we had to deliver her and her belongings to MSMS.  When it was time to leave, I remember looking back at her as I turned the corner, and I honestly feel that was the last time I saw "my daughter."

We were allowed phone calls, but the first-year students were not allowed to come home or have visitors for the first six weeks... something about helping with home sickness...  After the six-week moratorium had expired, the school hosted an open house so everyone could get together again... and the girl I was reunited with was not my daughter... she had changed so much... 


I know change is inevitable... but not so much at such a young age...  She had gone 'goth'... dyed her hair black, black nails, very disrespectful... I was not a happy Dad...


Anyway...


When it was time for her to be able to come home to visit for the first time, I took her to dinner, and noticed immediately that she had gotten her nose pierced... I was not a happy Dad about this since I hadn't given permission for this to happen (she was still a minor)... and in order for a minor to get tattooing or piercing, parental consent was required... which meant she either lied about her age, or someone forged a form granting consent.

I got over it... and the next time she came home, she had this tattoo on her back... again, I was not a happy camper... yadda yadda yadda... see above disclaimer...


This all would have been happening about the time that the Mrs Ex-To-Be-Redshoes was angry with me because I had questioned her about why she had called our son stupid...  so we were well on our way to divorce...


There were issues with drugs and alcohol... all other stories... this is about tattoos and piercings...


After she had graduated from MSMS, she was enrolled at Alluvial Flood Plains State University... where her Mom and I still work today...  She came by my office one Friday to tell me she was going to visit a friend that lived out of town... and that she would be back sometime over the weekend... being the Dad that I am, I told her, 'whatever it is you get pierced... tattooed... whatever.... I don't want to know about it...'


Monday morning, I am sitting at my desk, trying to coordinate notes for that days lectures... when I look up and see my daughter standing at my office door smiling at me...


"Good morning!", I say... to GRS...


"Gooh.. mawen",... she says to Dad...


WTF?!?!?!?!  She had her tongue pierced!!!!  Of all the reasons I've ever heard of... for a woman to get her tongue pierced... that was NOT something that Dad wanted to think about his daughter doing!!!!!!   ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Anyhoo... she has become an artist's canvas for tattoos... the young fellow that she married was heavily tattooed when I met him... and he is a genuinely nice guy... 


GRS now has two full tattoo sleeves...  all kinds of body decorations...  


As for me, I am dedicated to the Memory of my buddy, Barry... and part of honoring his Life and our friendship is that I donate blood on a regular basis... any piercing or any tattoo that I would get would mean that I would not be able to donate blood for a year...


My friendship with Barry... and honoring that Friendship trumps wanting any tattoos...


So... my friend, Bathwater... I have no tattoos... no piercings... and I'm the guy who went to go see Limp Bizkit with his son!!!

"Yesterday..."

"Why she had to go
 I don't know, she wouldn't say.."
                      Lennon-McCartney


My 'Yesterday' was about Laura...


I think when we are "let go," there is a great deal of soul searching that goes on... Most of us are probably very "passive" dumpees...

I had some things of hers that I needed to get back to her... get it out of my house... they did nothing but generate sad feelings for me... so I boxed them up yesterday... and left them at her house...

But I felt I needed to do something for MY 'goodbye'... so what I did... was to give her back the photo of us that she had given me just  before she decided she didn't want/need me...  


Nothing really great in the scheme of "I got you back!!" kind of stuff... but it was effective for me in closing that door... I felt that I now had an active role in ending it as well... ending it for me, that is...

Someday she will contact me... I know her too well...   She will become another "Robin".... who called last night by the way... and I didn't answer the phone...   

I think that there's this whole category of people out there... those 'energy vampires'... those people who need someone else to talk to and to drain the energy from...  (damn... there are some SEXY images out there when googling for 'vampires!!  This is NOT one of them!!!)


I want to be a "bad boy"... but I don't think I have the balls for it...  HAR!!!!!


I suppose I am better today...


~shoes~                          

Oh Well...

Sad Day.... 
Depressing Day...
Hopelessly Hopeless Day...


Tomorrow will be better... Sometimes I think too much...

Perceptions

When I was a senior in high school, our class had a research paper that was required for successful completion of the course.  While looking for some piece of information, I found a quote... that moved me... a seventeen year old goofball being moved by a quote?


Imagine that...  it said...


"Respect the silent, for still waters run deep."


I wrote that down on a note card and taped it to my bedroom mirror so I would see it everyday.  Even then, I guess I felt I was different... in that there was more to Life than what I was seeing first hand...


I don't think that I became conscious of actually searching for a greater definition of Life until "The Great Train Wreck of 1996."  Once I started journaling and looking at things in greater detail did I realize that I was on some kind of journey... or a quest for some kind of Discovery... even my trip to Monument Valley was about something I needed to learn...


I remember sitting outside one morning with Jan... one of my relationship Train Wrecks...  we were drinking coffee and I was journaling...


She asked me what I was writing... 


I told her that I had written two statements... and was thinking about them...


The two statements were:

• Life is Easy... I make it more difficult than is necessary...

• Life is Difficult... I tend to over-simplify it...

Jan tells me that the two statements were polar opposites of each other... I told her that I knew that... those were two statements though... that I wanted to express... and then write about them... and see which I felt was most true for me...

Kind of like when Laura... after all of the positive signs I felt she had given regarding our relationship, she comes out of left field with the statement that she doesn't love me and doesn't want to see me anymore.

I imagine that in her perspective, she simplified her Life...

I think Life is easier when we have to make difficult decisions...  and that Life becomes more difficult when we put off making difficult decisions...

I read a blog this morning... and the nature of this person's post got me to thinking about that journal entry...

I have some work to do...

"Chocolate?"

When Boy RedShoes was about 13 or so, he wanted to go see a concert in Memphis at the New Daisy Theater... it was a band by the name of Limp Bizkit...  His  Mom and I had been divorced maybe   a year... it was an "all-ages" show, so it started and ended  at a reasonable time.  

We drove up and parked across the street from the Orpeum in Memphis... about three or so blocks from the Theater... BRS and I were waiting to cross the street to head down Beale when we hear this voice...


"Can I interest you gentlemen in some Chocolate"? 

I turned and looked... and there was this well-dressed black woman looking at us... I told her, "No, thanks," and we proceeded on...  As we were crossing the street, BRS  kept turning around and looking back while we walked... every so many steps he would turn and look... and he finally said to me, "Dad... that woman doesn't have any candy to sell..."


So, I stopped... and looked back with him... and asked him to take a very careful look at her... and to think about what she asked us...


Then his eyes got really large... and he said... "OHMYGOD... she's a prostitute...!!!"


And then the sentence that really caught my attention... "Wow... my first experience with a prostitute..."


I told him that under NO conditions was he to make that same statement to his Mom!!!


All I could do was laugh... bless his heart...  its a tough world... and so many lessons to learn...


I love my kids...

"Speaking of Photography..."

I wonder how many photographers REALLY pay attention to detail when they take shots...

Hmmmm...

Interesting... VERY interesting...

Look What $15,000 Buys You!!!!

So... I told myself, "self... no more Tiger related stuff..."

And then I "found" these... yeah... I really didn't go looking for them...

This is Loredana Jolie, aka Loredana Ferriolo, one of allegedly many high-priced escorts Tiger Woods hired. Tiger is said to have paid her $15,000 for one night...

$15,000... dayum... for one night??

I wonder how one defines "one night?"

Is it four-hours?  Six-hours?? Does she spend the entire night??

I've never had an experience with a hooker... call girl... escort... $15,000... damn... there has to be a more expensive name for that... "consort?"

I wonder if she gives "group rates??"

I wonder what she would charge an over-worked, under-paid, sexually dysfunctional  university professor??  

College professors... for the most part, don't have groupies... we have coeds from time to time that promise certain things for a grade changed... but I haven't been swayed by that...


I wonder if I could write it off as a medical expense???

I wonder if the new Health Care Plan... whatever it looks like... will allow for... "sexual consultants..." 

"C'mere, baby... er... Doctor... I have something I need you to help me with..."

I wonder what $15,000 per night works out to on an annualized basis?  I wonder how many "nights off" she needs...??? I wonder if she "depreciates"...???

Lets see... 52 weeks times 7 days is 364 days... I was going to allow for weekends off, but hell, that should be high-demand, peak times!!  So maybe we allow Tuesday and Wednesday off... so thats 260 working days.... lets give her Christmas and Thanksgiving off... and Hell... and what... two weeks vacation??  So thats 244 "working days"... @ $15,000 per night, that cums to... er... comes to... $3,660,000... Damn... all in all, thats not THAT great... Tiger's caddy makes $1.5 Million... I wonder if he gets any "leftovers???" 

You know... being a photographer wouldnt be THAT bad of a job...

 

"Upon Further Review"

Jen has this great post that got me to thinking...  


I think the chaos that I've experienced has done more to cause great inhibitions in me than anything else that has ever happened in my Life... I don't have any sex hang ups from when I was a kid... self discovery and all of that stuff... and staying way too busy when I probably should have been doing homework or something...


I remember a one-sided rage where I was told by my then loving wife (cough cough)...


"You are lucky to have me... no one else would have you... you are ugly... you are fat... you are undesirable... you are no good in bed..."


Man... you should see the guy she's involved with now... YIKES!!!!!!


And so on...  Its amazing that my baggage doesn't come from my childhood, but from the "Year From Hell"...  It's amazing the power that ones words can have over us...


So... it is inhibitions that I need to beat... I need to stop thinking that I am not worthy... or capable...


But I'm eventually going to be 'OK'...


By the way... I sure hope Jen finishes that story... 

"Tiger Gets To Sit On Santa's Lap!!"

I apologize beforehand... I'm sorry... really sorry... maybe someone else will do something dumb and take the heat off of this poor fucker...

"So... I'm sitting in a coffee shop..."

... and these two neat little kids... a boy, maybe 5...  and a little girl, maybe 3 1/2... walk past me going to the cookie counter... and I smile as I watch them pass by... because it doesn't seen THAT long ago since Girl and Boy RedShoes were that size... it's so cute... the little boy has his sister by the hand and they are picking out the cookies they want... I turn and look at their Mom... who is looking at me, and I say... "Your children are adorable... my 'babies' are much older... and watching your children remind me of similar times I had with them... 

... And she replies with, "You have children that old? You sure are attractive!!"

It's not THAT often that I am speechless... but it was another one of those moments... of... "I don't get it..."  Maybe I have some self esteem issues I need to work on... later, when she and her children left, she smiled and winked at me...   I need to start believing more in me...

Politicians... Blerk...

I have become so disenchanted with politicians...  I wish I understood their mindset...  I am "right" of the Democratic Party... I am "left" of the Republican Party....

Not quite sure where that puts me...

But I do have to admit... they all provide for a great deal of laughs...

The Health Care Plan... in many of the current formats in which it exists... scares the hell out of me...

I wish it focused more on 'catastrophic' issues... I personally don't want... or don't need the government paying for my annual check-ups and minor health problems... Girl Redshoes was complaining about having to go to the doctor last week and about what it cost to go... and was angry because she and her husband don't have health insurance. 

The problem for which she went to the doctor wasn't life threatening...

She and her husband are bartenders in New Orleans... they don't receive benefits from their employers, but they make quite a lot of money... and I've asked why they don't set a little aside and purchase a health insurance policy with a high deductible... they could pay for the lesser things that come along, but then would have insurance if something significant or catastrophic happened...

The attached cartoon I think is funny... you may have to click on it to enlarge it so you can read it... to me, it's right up there with the 'Mission Accomplished!" photo op that Bush had...

I was worried about our country under the Bush Administration... I do have to admit that I am still worried... and I don't see any relief... any comfort in sight...

Rainy Saturdays and Everything Else...

It is raining its butt off here today... we had commencement at Alluvial Flood Plain State University today... as I said earlier,  I so enjoy these events... the next one I attend will be even better because Boy Redshoes should be graduating then...


A former student from a few years ago graduated today with her masters degree... I wasn't aware that she was back in school... we talked afterwards... she was glad to see me... and wants to go to dinner soon, so I suppose I will take her up on this offer... She is rather cute...


As I said... I like commencement...


~Shoes~

New Automobile Announced!

Renault and Ford are working on a new small car for women. They are mixing the Clio and the Taurus, and calling it the "Clitaurus."

It comes in pink and the average male thief won't be able to find it, even if someone tells him where it is.

Source: email