"Teaching"

I love this cartoon, although I don't think it accurately depicts most professors.  My schedule for the Spring 2010 semester has me teaching one class on Monday - Wednesday, and three classes on Tues - Thursday.  I used to teach classes every day, but an ex-gf told me it would be neat if I could arrange my schedule so we could possibly have a host of three-day weekends when we could do things... I fixed the schedule... and she broke up with me...


No big deal... you super glue your heart together... squeegie up the tears and move on...


But... I have taught with some real goofballs... One of the reasons I started wearing my Red Chuck Taylor Converse All-Star Tennis shoes as my official teaching shoe was to remind myself to not take myself too seriously... I posted about that here.


One fellow was notoriously stupid... no... wait... two guys... were notoriously stupid for sexually harassing students.  Because the girls wouldn't make formal complaints to the University, nothing could really be done.  Any thing I would say on behalf of the students would be regarded as nothing more than 'hearsay'...


I've had many times when female students would come to me telling me something that had been said... or something that had happened...


One such situation occurred at the beginning of a class period prior to lecture starting, when this one idiot professor told this young lady that if she didn't stop squirming in her seat, she was going to have an orgasm...


Another such time, a young lady told me that she and her class had just been told something so shocking, that she didn't think she would be able to go back to class.  I asked her to tell me... she wouldn't... and I told her that I couldn't help her if she didn't tell me what had happened...  It seems that this one fuckhead professor had shared with the class all of his medical problems and issues... one being that it was impossible for him to have an erection without the use of a penis pump... 


What The Phuck?!?!?!?!?!?!


Anyway... we had this one asshole professor who worked here... who was a great deal like a 'Chatty Cathy' doll... only instead of never knowing what would be said next, one never knew what would happen next...


We were convinced that his sole reason for being... for living... for having been born and being allowed to survive childbirth... was to allow anyone who came in contact with him to feel better about themselves...


This guy was addicted to painkillers... not sure of when that addiction happened... but he was always hurting himself... sometimes seriously... to get pain killer prescriptions...


One of the dumbest things he ever did... was get hired onto a twelve-month contract... professors are usually signed to nine-month or ten-month contracts... but he was hired full-time by the dean who looked a great deal like Colonel Sanders...


After the Colonel left, we received a new dean, and this dean required that this fuck-head be accountable for whatever it was he was supposed to be doing. Not wanting to be saddled with this accountability, he promptly resigned his position at the university in the middle of May of that year, and would return to teaching full-time.


Now... he should have known... realized... that all teaching contracts become effective in August of the academic year... so when he resigned the twelve-month position, he unknowingly put himself into a position of not having any income until the end of August of that year...  we tried to tell him he was fucking up, but he was too smart for us... until he talked to people in HR... the Dumbass...


The end result is that I bought an AK-47 and 500 rounds of ammo... and a Beretta 380 for a little more than $300... I don't know if the money was for living expenses, or for his drug addiction... My idea of gun control was that any gun this idiot didn't own, society was better off... we had designated this prof to be the person most likely to go 'postal' in the College of Business... I had told the dean that if he ever had to fire this person, that I wanted a two-week notice... just didn't want to be there...


Well... in January 2006, a colleague of ours here died unexpectedly... I guess if one is going to die, that's possibly the best way...  and then in early September, 2006, another person in our division died... I mean... what are the odds of two people within the same division at work dying in the same school year...???


I remember Mom telling me once upon a time that people die in "threes"... I told some of my colleagues about this... and we started speculating as to who the 3rd one might be... of course, you know who I selected... and I proposed going ahead and shoving him down the stairs so that some nice person wouldn't have to die to fulfill this dubious distinction...


Well... guess who died about three weeks later??  I kid you not... that guy died deader than a door nail...


Damn... started off wanting to talk about teachers and how much we work in spite of people thinking that we don't do anything other than go to class and tell stories...


I have a great relationship with my students...  They trust me... I have a great relationship with my colleagues... they trust me...


I think I've stated before that I have the best job in the world... and I do... but some of the people I work with... man, I'm just not sure... 


~shoes~