"E.T. Phone Home..."

True Confessions...

Ancient Aliens...

O.K... I have to admit this... a kind of a coming out of the closet, if you will...

I love this fukken show!!!

I really do... and it's possible that my favorite "scientist" on that show is Giorgio A. Tsoukalos...  the photo below is one of him before 'big hair' set in...

Over time, it seems his hair has exploded!!!!

... and now he looks like THIS!!!!

I wonder what he was like before he tripped out on the brown acid at Woodstock???

Oh... wait a minute... he isn't that old!!!!

I think the show is quite intriguing!!!!

I don't think they actually say that Aliens are behind some of the things they talk about... but it does make one think.

I want hair like his...  I wonder what my students would think?  I'm pretty much already a loon in the class room anyway...

I've asked myself this question MANY times!!!!

They MUST have existed!!!

Someone had to have built this shit!!!!!!

... and of course, it's very likely that Giorgio himself is an alien...

Ergo!!!!!!

Blow Me!!!!!

Blow Me!!!!

(Not Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis)

Now, THIS is what I call throwing down the gauntlet!!!!!!

I double-dog DARE you to cross this Time Warp!!!!!!!

So then... Mary was an alien as well????

I CAN see the resemblance!!!!

HOLY Phuck!!!!!

I had NOT thought about that option!!!!!!!!

... speaking of 'Holy'...

Speaking of Aliens... 

On this date in 1969...

(Armstrong, Collins, Aldrin)

Neil Armstrong was the first alien WE are aware of to have

set foot on our Moon.

You guys were among the dare devils!!!!

~shoes~

"Momma Said..."

When I was a little pair of ~shoes~, my brother had a 1964 Ford Galaxy 500 just like the one pictured above... only his  was a golden/brown color (of course, I am biased towards the color, red).  A BEAUTIFUL car... the damn thing had a 390 cu. in. engine... and was so fast that the from time to time, the car would have to slow down so its paint job could catch up with it.  That is one of the most amazing vehicles from my younger ~shoes~ memories.  My brother was one those "IT" people, whereas I was always on the fringe of any of the cliques of kids in high school. More often than not, I was excluded instead of being included... but that was ok.

But I could go riding with John in that car, and we would get all kinds of attention.  I always imagined that the girls we would meet were talking to US, when in reality, they were talking to him and his nerdy, goofy brother was just there...

Still, when he would say, "~shoes~... let's go riding...", I was always game and ready to go.  Our journeys would take us all over the place around here.  Maybe it would be a late afternoon run over to Rosedale to go see the Mississippi River... or to Merigold...

From time to time, Mom would tell us about things we shouldn't do, and places we shouldn't go... if for no other reason than our own survival.  I suppose Mom did know best... she certainly wouldn't mislead us about things like that.

One of the places in town that was "off-limits" was 'Bob's Drive In.'

Not Bob's Drive In, but...

... it could have been. It had the long awning much like this one... and you could park underneath if it happened to be raining... but if you wanted to be cool, you would park just out from underneath it... you could be 'seen' better that way.

They had the BESTEST chili-cheese burgers, onion rings and cherry cokes...

AUGH!!!!!!

Sooo... this one Saturday afternoon, my brother finds me and says, "let go for a ride..."

I knew that probably meant we would go to "Bob's," get a couple of those burgers up there, and have a great deal of fun...

The car hop came... took our order... brought us our food... and we were in paradise... and I was sitting on the passenger's side of that cool looking Ford up there...

At some point, my brother started the engine... we weren't finished with our food yet... and I asked, 'where are we going?'

"We are going to back up some so we can watch 

that fight over there..."

That alone shows you what a geek I was... I was so busy eating that I didn't realize that  a fist fight was brewing just a few cars away from us... the kinds of things that Mom wanted us to avoid...

... so we back up a bit... and we have a front row seat... this fellow in blue jeans and a white T-shirt is cussing this guy inside a pick up truck up one side and down the other... waving his arms... yelling... stuff like that.  I couldn't hear what the fellow in the truck was saying, but at some point, the fellow on the outside grabs the door handle... jerks the door open... and reaches in to grab the occupant... and...

POW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

... just that sudden, a little red dot suddenly appeared on this fellow's white T-shirt...

Have you ever been a witness to... or involved in anything like this?  In the movies, they tend to portray some of this stuff in slow-motion... and it was... it was moving so slow... maybe to give that fellow as long to live as it could...

After the sound of the shot, this fellow stumbled back and started a turn to his right... and was facing our vehicle...  and there was a little red dot on the front of his shirt... centered right in the middle of that fellow's chest.

... and I said to my brother...

"John... he's dead..."

I was in the ninth grade at the time... I didn't know shit about shit... but I knew this guy was dead.  He stumbled towards us... fell up against the car next to us... spun and staggered out into the gravel parking lot where he collapsed... and bled out what little Life he had left onto the ground.

The bullet must have severed the aorta... or hit one of the major chambers of the heart...  I didn't know that someone could have that much blood in them...  I didn't know that someone could bleed that much...  horror movies don't have the effect on me that this event did...

The next thing I know is that cars are screaming and rushing out of the parking lot... everyone wanting to get the Hell away from there...  We got home... I ran to my Mother and hugged her so tight and was crying... and she was asking John what had happened to me... when we really both lost as to what we had just witnessed...

I better understood then what Mom had tried to save us from... how she was trying to protect us...

I lost a great deal of innocence that day...

~shoes~

"Yoga Bear Is Smarter Than..."

... The Average Bear..."

Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

Yogi Bear and his yoga moves...

I bet that helped him with getting pic-a-nic baskets!!

Hell... I would have totally believed he was a frog...

Wouldn't you??

I had mentioned in some of the comments on the previous post about there being photos of drunks in yoga positions... I was bored... this is what happens when ~shoes~ gets bored...

It's amazing how many of the positions taken on by the drunks mirror those of yoga moves... that's what happens when a rung breaks off the back of the chair... HAR!!!

Thank God for the basket on this guy's trike... or he would have been either flat on his ass, or in some other yoga position...

This would probably also assist with child birth positions...

I have to admit to having been in something similar to some of these positions...

I was so ill a few years ago... and in the middle of the night, got up to go to the bathroom... sick to my stomach... I remember afterwards, getting ready to head back to the bedroom... and the next thing I know, I am coming to one the hallway floor in a position that may only be in the back parts of the Kama Sutra...

I'm glad I didn't die... I would have hated to have been found in  that  position.

This one still amazes me...

Even if staged, I wouldn't put my head into a urinal...

HAR!!!!

I've done  this one before, but not splayed like that...

This one above has to violate ALL laws of Physics, I would think...

Drunk Planking?

Does anyone even do that any more??

HAR!!! 

I have no comment for this image!!!!

Anyway...

If you are a drunk,  you may already be some kind of Yoga Master...

~shoes~

"Drunk Post..."

My sleep pattern is very screwed up...

I don't know how...

I don't know why...

I started waking up for no good reason at all around 2 - 2:30 every morning...  I have trouble getting back to sleep...

I woke up at about 2.30 or so this morning... tossed and turned... finally fell back to sleep... somewhere around 9.00-ish, I awaken to the sound of a turkey gobblin' and a gun shot...

... then  I hear a story about four Mennonites...

... and falafels...

... on the front porch...

C'mon  folks...

I mean...

WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

WHO has four Mennonites with Falafels sitting 

on their front porch on a Friday morning?!?!?!?!

Of course, that's half of my problem...

The other half is that I continue to think 

today is Saturday morning...

... and so it goes.

I spent some time yesterday.. and today with my two sisters...

I really love them to death...

but...

Have you ever noticed that after you do one thing,

you need something to offset it????

I needed something to offset my time I spent today 

and yesterday with  my two sisters..

I know just WHAT the doctor would order...

Margaritassssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(not Jose...)

(although, if Jose looked like this, I would probably go back even more...)

Jose... (not his real name...) apologized for the color of said margaritas...

so he added some extra Cointreau...

Good LORD those things were good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He promised the make the second one eactly the same way...

(... and he did, too!!!!)

(is he playing pocket pool???)

... and if that isn't bad enough...

dink = sounds received texts make...

Dink:   Some 'Little House on the Prairie' episodes are really sad...

Shoes:  That guy that played Lil Joe prolly died from depression while making that series...

Dink:  Lil Joe?  I dunno... who was that?

Shoes:  What was his name??

Shoes:  Oh... Michael Landon...

Dink: My mother loved Michael Landon and Andy Griffith...

Dink:  Oh... didn't he make a series about an angel later on?

Shoes:  Prolly...

Shoes: he had to continue that depressive streak....

Shoes:  Why didn't he make a movie about whores??

Dink:  Maybe the angel was a whore when the  camera wasn't rolling...

Shoes:  Maybe...

Shoes:  I like that thought...

Dink:  Oh... of course that was the one you liked...

God, I hate it when I drink too much!!!!!!!!!!!

~shoes~

"Vicksburg..."

The Gibraltar of the Confederacy

For additional thoughts on today please visit Max at Thoughts from a Mystic Satyr and Ryan at "... A Regular Guy Gone Bad." Max and Ryan will discussing The Battle at Gettysburg, which ended July 3,1863.

Two of the most important dates of the American Civil War would arguably be July 3 and July 4, 1863, the dates of two decisive victories for the Union Army against Confederate forces.  Confederate General, Robert E. Lee withdrew his forces from the Gettysburg area on July 3... and Confederate General, John Pemberton surrendered Vicksburg to Union General, U.S. Grant the very next day, July 4.

Honestly, the outcomes of both battles were probably decided weeks in advance by a series of events that made the possibility of victory for Confederate forces very unlikely.

General 'Stonewall' Jackson
"Let us cross over the river, and rest under the shade of the trees."

Jackson's last words

From April 30 - MAY 6, 1863, The Army of North Virginia took on the Union Army of the Potomac around Chancellorsville. On May 2, 'Stonewall' Jackson was shot and mortally wounded by a Confederate picket, and died eight days later from complications.  Robert E. Lee would later compare the loss of Jackson as to 'having lost his right arm.'  Needless to say, Jackson's leadership and military prowess were sorely missed a month later at Gettysburg.

An equally important misstep was that committed by General Jeb Stuart, Confederate cavalry man.  His daring military usage of horseback troops gave Lee 'sets of eyes' to what was going on around his forces that other military leaders didn't have.  Either through ill-defined orders on the part of Lee, or through decisions made by Stuart, the Confederate cavalry was separated by time and distance from Lee's main body of troops, and unable to provide intelligence to Lee.  There were other issues that transpired that would work against Lee, but I would argue that these were the two most significant.

StoneWall Jackson's tactical excellence and Stuart's reconnaissance were sorely missed at Gettysburg.

On to Vicksburg...

U.S. Grant  and   John C. Pemberton

General Joseph E. Johnston

General Joseph E. Johnston was equally involved in tactical moves that were made... or more importantly, not made over that time.  To this day, there is still argument as to what all transpired between Jefferson Davis, president of the Confederacy, and Generals Johnston and Pemberton.

The city and fortress of Vicksburg were protected by General John C. Pemberton and his Confederate forces.  If you have never been here, the city is situated high on the bluffs overlooking the Mississippi River. There were several fortifications devised that made the running of the river by Union vessels all but impossible.

Admiral Porter's Fleet running the Vicksburg Batteries...

General U. S. Grant  and his Army of The Tennessee had marched down the Louisiana side of the river to points south of the city of Vicksburg.  His troops were then ferried across the Mississippi River by vessels of the Union fleet that had run the gauntlet at Vicksburg on April 1.

Once on the Mississippi  side of the river, Grant marched on to Jackson, MS... captured Jackson and then preceded to march on towards Vicksburg.  Johnston, who was in  charge of all Confederate forces in Mississippi, ordered Pemberton and his army of roughly 23,000 soldiers to attack the Union Army at Clinton, MS.  Pemberton felt these orders were going to be disastrous for him and his army, and he decided to attack Federal supply lines instead.

This attack failed for Pemberton, and this began a series of ill-fated battles that ended up with him retreating with his army into the defenses of Vicksburg.  One of these battles was The Battle of Champion Hill, which you can read about  HERE.  Some historians believe that this is an encounter that Confederate forces should have won... having held the high ground for part of the battle.  Some sources, however, state that Pemberton was so out-numbered by Federal forces that he had no choice but to retreat.  Other sources state that Pemberton had asked for assistance from Johnston, but he never responded.

Pemberton eventually retreated into the positions at Vicksburg and waited for Grant's Army of the Tennessee there.

Grant tried two direct assaults on Confederate positions at Vicksburg before realizing that he couldn't take it by force.  One of the attacks was on May 19, and followed by another on May 22.  The second attack involved soldiers assigned to General William T. Sherman... who advanced down Graveyard Road towards the Confederate position known as Stockade Redan.  The Union losses were heavy... and there is a marker on the battlefield site that credits the actions of this day as causing Sherman to remark that 'this is Hell'...

It is said that there were reports that the bodies of dead and wounded soldiers in some areas were so thick that one could walk 200 yards without ever touching earth.

LINK

After the failures of these two attacks, Grant decided on May 25 to lay siege to Vicksburg.  Supposedly, Johnston was very angry with Pemberton for retreating into Vicksburg and establishing a defensive position there.  Johnston supposedly was of the opinion that Grant be allowed to take the City... Pemberton take a retreat that would allow him and his forces to reunite with Johnston... and they would retake the city from Federal forces.

On July 3, 1863, Pemberton and Grant met between the lines and negotiated terms of surrender.  Grant initially wanted his usual 'unconditional surrender,' but thought better of it, as his army would have been busy trying to maintain roughly 30,000 prisoners.  Instead,  Grant issued paroles to the Confederate forces, actually thinking that they would have lost the will to fight.  Grant furthermore wanted the July 4 surrender because of national holiday implications and recognition.

The two met under an oak tree to formalize and finalize terms of surrender.

Missouri Memorial

Vicksburg NMP

One of the unique memorials at Vicksburg  is that of the state of Missouri.  Missouri provided 27 Union units, and 15 Confederate.  The memorial above is situated at the location where two Missouri units clashed against each other.

I spent a great deal of time reading Civil War blogs about the Vicksburg campaign... and there are many diverse positions on the actions of Pemberton, Johnston, and Davis... who was to blame... etc.

A very interesting side note to this story is that General Johnston became friends with General Sherman after the war... Johnston served as a pall bearer at the funeral of Sherman... came down with pneumonia due to the inclement weather conditions on the day of the funeral... and died.

For something that should have been a short post... this turned out longer than I anticipated... and it can not cover the topic  adequately.  There are so many questions... so many quirky twists and turns...

~shoes~