'...so it goes'

"... so it goes"

I've written before about a book I've read that I really enjoyed...

... anytime someone dies, or Death is mentioned... Vonnegut wrote "... so it goes."  The critics gave him grief over this, said he over-used it, but I am not sure that they read it in proper context... after all, we are all notorious for taking things out of context.

I work with this woman here... we have known each other since the first grade... her husband died Monday... he was an ag-pilot and he didn't come home.

Now, this post isn't about her... or him... but instead, I got to thinking about the suddenness in which she learned of his death.  She saw him off to work that morning, just as she has any number of mornings, and had no reason to not believe she wouldn't see him later in the day... 

... she has told me before that he has walked away from any number of crashes.  I am guessing that it was assumed he would walk away from the next one... and he didn't.

What this post is about... is how we experience the death of a loved one... Which is easier to process? Which is easier to understand??  The sudden, totally unexpected Death?  Or the long, lingering Death??

My Mom died from pulmonary fibrosis... a horrible death... but I suppose no more horrible than dying from a gunshot wound or an auto crash...  but I did see Mom slowly die over a period of nine months... I guess the 'sudden shock' with her was when the doctor told us that Mom wasn't going to survive...

My Dad died from a stroke... not really unexpected... Dad was 90. It took Dad eight days to leave... I guess it's always a shock, whether it's the Death that is immediate or the immediacy of the news...

I don't really have an answer... one of the bloggers that I enjoy reading has posted about the deaths of people for whom she has  known... and she writes of it so eloquently... with such respect.

I guess in trying to process which is easier to handle, immediate or gradual Death... is kind of like trying to decide whether the day of the funeral is a 'good day' or not... Dad told me that the day they buried GrandMother Brown, that it was a bad day... so bone-chilling cold (his words)... but what if the day had been bright and sunny... and pleasant? Isn't that still a bad day??

I don't know...

So it goes... Huh??

~shoes~

'Doc Holliday..."

"I'm Your Huckleberry..."

John Henry 'Doc' Holliday (August 14, 1851 – November 8, 1887) was  an American dentist, gambler, and gunfighter (not necessarily in that order) during the days of the American Old West...  it is claimed that he once had a dental practice in Dallas, Texas, just about one block east from where Dealey Plaza is located... realizing he could make more money gambling than he could by practicing dentistry, he changed careers and moved further West...


He did become friends with Wyatt Earp, and Earp did credit Holliday with having saved his life during a gunfight...  Holliday was also known to have a very short fuse when it came to his temper, and was of the opinion that it would be far better to die in a gunfight than in bed from his disease...


There have been many movies made about Doc Holliday and Wyatt Earp and their relationship...  in 1994, 'Wyatt Earp' was released, and featured Kevin Costner as Earp and Dennis Quaid as Holliday...  in 1993, my favorite Earp movie, 'Tombstone' was released... Kurt Russell portrayed Earp and Val Kilmer played the part of Doc Holliday.  I  like Kilmer's portrayal the best...

Kilmer just seemed to portray Holliday with somewhat of a devil-may care attitude... playing up to the idea that Holliday would rather die in a gunfight than by tuberculosis.


If you are curious as to why two movies were made so close to each other, Costner and Russell were working on the same project, and differences in the way the movie should proceed arose... and Russell went off to make his own version...


One of my favorite scenes in the movie occurs when Johnny Ringo, a notorious gunfighter himself, challenges the Earps to a duel in the street... and it plays out like this...



Who knows if a confrontation like this ever played out, other than for Hollywood theatrics... but one thought is that the use of the phrase, "I'm your huckleberry..." was interpreted to mean, that Holliday "was the man for the job"... the man for the job of disposing of Ringo.


However, other popular usage for 'huckleberry' was for the sake of comparison... to be a"huckleberry" was to be at least second best, or inferior in nature... so in that scene, one could argue that Holliday was trying to entice Ringo to pull his pistol on him... that Holliday was admitting to not being a gunfighter of the same quality as Ringo.


This interpretation is reinforced in a scene towards the end of the movie... when Ringo is expecting Earp to show up for a gunfight, and instead, Holliday shows up.  The depiction is that Ringo is scared of Holliday... not afraid of Earp...



The scenario plays out almost exactly the same way as it did earlier in the streets in Tombstone... "I'm your huckleberry"... again, almost egging Ringo to draw...  after having shot Ringo, Holliday tells him, "you're no daisy... you're no daisy at all"...


Just as "huckleberry" was used to imply a lesser quality, to be a "daisy" was to be the best quality... so as Ringo was dying in the movie, Holliday was still goading him onward...


In reality, Johnny Ringo's death is a mystery... officially it is listed as a suicide, although is does appear that evidence exists that could implicate Holliday... so this last scene is another example of Hollywood embellishment.


Unfortunately, Doc Holliday did die in an asylum for those with Tuberculosis.  There were sulfur springs there that were thought to improve one's ability to breathe, but now it's known that it probably aggravated his illness.


He died in bed from a disease... a death that it was known he did not want... and he died  without his boots... in his sock feet.

His last words were reputed to be, after having looked down toward his feet, 

 'Damn, this is funny...'

~shoes~

"Rehab..."

Amy Winehouse...

She should have gone...

Rest in peace...

~shoes~

'Yet Another Dream...'

'The Shepherd's Dream'

JOHN HENRY FUSELI

I dream a lot...  some make no sense and leave me with the vaguest memory... others haunt me... 

The dream of which I wrote about yesterday was just so vivid... so real... and then the dream of my Dad which occurred in San Francisco, right next to the Bay... I will never forget that dream...

I received a link which took me to a site about reading dreams... I'm sure that there are tons of them out there... and when I entered the topic of the dream of which I wrote yesterday, zombies, here is what it told me...

To see or dream that you are a zombie, suggests that you are physically and/or emotionally detached from people and situations that are currently surrounding you. You are feeling out of touch. Alternatively, a zombie means that you are feeling dead inside. You are just going through the motions of daily living.

To dream that you are attacked by zombies, indicate that you are feeling overwhelmed by forces beyond your control. You are under tremendous stress in your waking life. Alternatively, the dream represents your fears of being helpless and overpowered.

Hmmm... I'm going to have to think about that... because I think it ties in greatly with the dream I had last night...

Last night, I dreamed that I was sitting down to play one of my guitars... there were other people there, but I can't tell/remember if I was playing for them, or if they were just there...

I was aware (sensed) that something was wrong with the instrument... but I tried to play on anyway... at one point, I tilted the guitar over to look at the back of the instrument, and it was coming apart... it was busted... and separating even more as I held it.  I tried to play on anyway, and the neck separated from the body and just fell into pieces... 

I had this feeling... that if I just continued to try to play, that no one there would know or see that everything was falling apart... that I was having difficulties...

I saw the zombie dream as a form of entertainment, although, after reading the possible interpretation, maybe not.  The interpretation that I have for last night's dream seems to coincide with the possible meaning of the zombie dream...  and it's about how maybe something in my Life is 'broken'... maybe I am 'broken'...  maybe I am trying to hide the idea that I am broken from others...

Maybe I have some self-reflection I need to do... maybe things aren't as they seem...

~shoes~

"Fukt Up Dream..."

Well, the title pretty much sums it up... I'm not sure where the concept came from...

All night long...

I was chased by...

ZOMBIES...

I know at some point, I thought I heard a noise in the house that seemed... "odd"... but I didn't think much more of it... I made sure my 9m/m was where I could get it if necessary...

... and fell asleep...

... and then there they were... zombies... everywhere! I had my pistol and I was aware that I needed several boxes of ammo if I was going to stand any kind of chance!!!

At first, it was just me against all of them...

... I remembered that I needed to shoot them in the head...

Che was a zombie??

... oddly enough, the dream seemed to follow the plot of the original 'Night Of The Living Dead'... by dawn, I had found more non-zombies... but, it was so surreal in that when I would talk to another in the dream, I was trying to make sure he/she wasn't a zombie (...so I wouldn't have to kill him/her later)...

I don't recall any zombies in the dream looking like this...

Boo!!!

a zombie cat...

Anyway... it was much of a relief to finally wake up... and dammit, I hadn't fired the first round!!!  Grrrr....

Maybe...

Next time...

~shoes~

LITTLE  BOY

 DADDY

My sister stole from us... er hoarded from us... err... safe guarded most of what was left when Dad died... only recently has she decided to share some of these things with us.

I am in LOVE with this photo... I am in AWE of this photo... of my Dad... he was just a little boy.  He would tell me stories of his dog and his goat and cart... but I never knew photos existed.  I am guessing that he was maybe 6 in this photo.

I adore the expressions on the faces of the goat and the dog...

I have talked about how much I miss my Mom and Dad... these photos bring much happiness... and yet much heart ache...  I just want to pick that little boy up and hug him... and thank him for so much.

Robelyn @  Red.Neck.Chic sized this photo for me... Thank you, Gobbles...

~shoes~

'Robot Chicken...'

Robot Chicken, if you aren't familiar with it, is just kind of hard to explain...

Sometimes, it's just not right...

For example...

Well, poot... 'embedding' is disabled... so you are just going to have to click HERE... in order to see it...  

If that didn't cause you to flee in herds, then look at this ONE... again, embedding is disabled...  

... and then there is always THIS  one... 

This show just ain't right...

~shoes~

"Elvis..."

"Ode To Elvis"

Once upon a time, my good friend, BARRY  and I would go whitewater canoeing on the rivers in Western North Carolina... it was beautiful up there... 


Anyway, this one evening, the group that we went with decided that we would have a poetry night... We were each asked to write a poem and have it ready to read aloud after dinner.  I figured that there were going to be WAY too many poems about rivers and mountains and eddies... so being the dumbass different kind of person that I am, I decided to write about Elvis...


Are any of you familiar with a group called "Dread Zeppelin?"  If yes, then you understand why I am including a video here for your listening entertainment while you read further...



I can't quite remember exactly how the poem went, but I can recall it enough... most of it had to do with the incredulous disbelief that the King of Rock~N~Roll could be dead...

'Is Elvis dead?

Could he be dead??

Is this really true???

Could Elvis really be dead?

Does this bother you??'

Not the real Elvis...

And so it went... along these lines... and I perceived the tempo of the poem to be building towards this great peak... towards this great eruption...

'Hunka Hunka Burnin' Love...

There in Memphis~town...

Did Elvis really cash his chips all in

With his pants pulled completely down???'

Not the real Elvis...

As the story goes, Elvis was making pooh on his toilet, when he evidently strained too hard... and, Hell, I don't know, he either had a stroke, or  heart attack, or something... and keeled over dead... an EMT claimed he was face down and ass up in his bathroom...  Too bad there weren't digital cameras all over the place back then...

Zombie Elvis...

While looking this crap up researching this, I did find a link where it mentioned the frequency of fatal heart attacks while poohing... Note to self: No more poop straining...

Not the real Elvis...

The REAL Elvis...

Of Course, in reality,

Elvis was really cool...

~shoes~

How time gets away... I was thinking that it happened a year ago today... instead, it was a year ago yesterday...


I am reposting this for my friend, Robert...


And, oh... the song... do play it, and play it loud... Robert liked it that way...
___________________________







I have this goof ball friend at work... he is the Yin to my Yang... to my Red Converse All Stars, he is insane Hawaiian shirts and goofy ties... and he claims to have never worn the same tie twice in an academic year...


He is the pony tail to my longer unkempt hair...


We couldn't wait to cross paths so we could trade jokes and class room stories...


We both love to joke with our students... and pull various pranks on them...


B.B. King played on campus last Wednesday night... I had two tickets... I offered him one... he loves blues music as much as I do... and we always let the other hear the most recent CD we have heard... and who we are going to see in concert next...


"Comfortably Numb" is one of his most favorite songs... He loves Pink Floyd...

He has a wife... and neat kids...

He always has this great grin smeared across his face...

My friend, Robert.... died this morning... and I am uncomfortably numb...

~jim~
_____________________


A year later, I still miss you , my friend...


~shoes~