"Stage Fright..."

Or...

What The Fuck have I gotten 

myself into!?!?!?!?!?!?!

This Saturday, Alluvial Flood Plain State University will have its Fall Commencement... Among the low lights of said event will be that yours truly will get to address the graduating body of students and their families...

'Stage Fright'

The Band

I fairly well have my talk planned out, and ready to go...  I have the gist of what I want to say... it's just that I am fine tuning it now... I have rehearsed it several times, and this afternoon, I went to the coliseum and just stood on the stage for about 10 minutes... I became acclimated to looking down upon where the students will be seated... out to where my colleagues will be,  and up and around where the family members of the graduates will be.

I have always encouraged my students to step out of their comfort zone and do things that make them nervous... things that scare them a little bit.  I will be leading by example this weekend...

Is it really possible that the fear of speaking in public ranks higher than fear of failure? Or, fear of Rejection?? Or fear of Intimacy???  I noticed that, according to this image, fear of Death isn't even in the Top Ten.

I guess as long as I don't pee myself, I will be ok...

As soon as I go and joke about this, it will happen!!!

Well,

I guess as long as I look cool doing it!

Another great tip I learned!!!

It makes sense to me!!!

~shoes~

"One More Week..."

or...

"Poor Lil Bastiges..."

I think this about sums it up quite nicely...

The 'begging,' 'bitching,' 'kavetching,' began in earnest last week...

I understand that this approach 

still happens from time to time...

Spelling ability is still weak at the university level...

However, I guess it can prepare you for writing pornography...

I had a colleague who was swayed 

by this kind of attention...

The girls knew it... 

and they worked it.

I never have been able to pull this look off...

I probably don't have the legs for it.

I guess it's only ok in literature and in music...

Bless their hearts...

Meanwhile, my commencement 

address is coming along nicely...

I've been told a few times just to 

imagine the audience naked...

I'm thinking that if I thought of 

this gal up abovebeing naked,

I'd have all kinds of system malfunctions...

~shoes~

"Larry Packs Porn..."

... and He Don't Care...

Scooter... aka "Liam Larry" is an amazing fool...

The "Scooter, Skeeter, & Shoes' Traveling Salvation Lunch Show" met at one of the places where we normally eat lunch together to discuss the events of the past weekend.  Since we were out of school last week, for Thanksgiving, we had much business to cover.

click on the image...

The mess that "Liam Larry" comes up with (no pun intended) just amazes me...

He told us a while back that he had been doing 'porn searches' on his work computer...

I mean...  

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!

What is this idiot thinking?!?!?!?!?!  

His work computer??

For someone who is supposedly  allegedly intelligent, he does some really dumb shit from time to time...

Anyhoo...

... he tells us at lunch today that he placed an order for some porn... and had it delivered to his Mother's house...

To his Mother's House?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

... and his Mother opened the box?!?!?!?!?!?!

Sometimes, MaGeever just doesn't hit on all cylinders...

He told us that he was amazed at the amount of 

movies that are available for purchase...

Did you know that a new porn film and title is released every 39 minutes?

What State's residents subscribe to more porn sites than any other state in the Union?

Utah...

Pornography Time Statistics

• Every second - $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography.
• Every second - 28,258 internet users are viewing pornography.
• Every second - 372 internet users are typing adult search terms into search engines.

Anyhoo....

... "Liam Larry" said that he had to get the videos shipped to another location because, evidently, our area codes in this area can't have porn shipped to them.  I had never heard of anything like this.

But to ship it to his Mom's house??

"Liam" did make the comment that he 'didn't want to forget.  Forget??  Isn't sex related stuff somewhat of a 'brain-stem' activity?  I mean, can't a stalk of celery have sexual urges??

I think I have discovered 'Liam Larry's' new nick name...

I hope that guy in the middle swings both ways...

if'n you know what I mean...

~shoes~

"Happy Thanksgiving..."

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Now that I think about it, 

this does make sense...

I think I've even made that face...

LMBO!!

Now this would be one GREAT way to write off a loss!!

Bacon...

about the only way I can think of

to make turkey taste any better!!!

Buck Wheat!!!!!

O Tay!!!!!!!!!!

No matter what the topic,

I always find one cartoon for the Muppets...

LMBO @ the

restraining order...

Hmmmmm...

Next thing you know, 

they will claim that turkeys have opposable thumbs.

Now that we have clarified this topic...

... and remember,

at my house, it's not the holidays until

someone cries...

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Gobbles Gobbles Gobbles...

~shoes~

"Help..."

I need some help, please...

I was the recipient of the Outstanding Professor Award at last year's Spring Commencement...  the downside of this is that I have to give the Commencement Address at this Fall's graduation... which is only about four weeks away...

YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!

The good news is that I have several drafts of different talks going at this time, but I'm not really infatuated with any of the ones that are in process.

I am struggling with the idea that... what advice do I have to give to these graduates?  I'm not that pompous or arrogant that I think I have any real advice for these folks' future.

Anyway...

I got to thinking about handling this project in this manner...  I was thinking, what advice would I give myself if I could go back to when  I graduated college?

I have a list of some things that I wish I had known... that I would be able to share with myself... 

but...

... what is it that you would you tell yourself?? What could 'today' you tell 'yesterday' you?  What is it that you would tell yourself??

What do you think about this angle to a commencement address???

Help me out... I need some different view points to add to this...

I would greatly appreciate your thoughts...

*******

The help I am asking for is this... 

I would like each of you to tell me one thing 
that you would tell your '20 year-old' self...

There is bound to be SOMETHING you would tell 
yourself if you could go back in time...

~shoes~

"Veterans' Day ~ Repost..."

This is a repost of something I wrote a couple of years ago.  It still seems fitting.  In addition to today being Veterans' Day here in the U.S., I do believe that it's Remembrance Day' in Canada.

___________

In Flanders Field

John McCrae, May 1915

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses, row on row,

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved and were loved, and now we lie

In Flanders Fields.

Take up the quarrel with the foe;

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch: be yours to hold it high.

If you break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow

In Flanders Fields.

_________

Today, November 11... is Veterans Day... I remember my Mom and Dad referring to it as Armistice Day, the day that the end of World War I was recognized world-wide...


"Major hostilities of World War I were formally ended at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918 with the German signing of the Armistice..."

Over time, Veterans Day was altered to honor veterans from all wars...   I remember when I was a boy, Dad took me to Illinois to visit the family homestead... and later to the Brown Family Cemetery... one of the headstones he took me to belonged to a young man by the name of 'Leland Brown'... on his headstone is inscribed...

"One of Pershing's 100 Heros..."

My Dad told me that during the course of World War I that Leland had pulled off something similar to Alvin York's accomplishments...

Omaha Beach, June 6, 1944

A late brother-in-law was an 18 year old the day he landed on Omaha Beach in France... to begin the last thrust of the war that was designed to push the Germans out of France... back into Germany... and end the war.


Before his stint in World War II was over, he would be wounded in France, and again in Belgium at the Battle of the Bulge...  He was a kid...  What were you doing when you were 18???


There is footage of the landing in Normandy that always haunts me... there are three soldiers running onto the beach... and one falls motionless... I keep waiting, hoping to see him stir... move... do something to indicate that maybe he tripped... or was just wounded... Of course, he doesn't.  Over 2,500 young men died on the beaches that morning.

Of course, the war that haunts me and my generation is the Vietnam War... I am still appalled at how the troops returning from Vietnam were treated by America...  Not only were the young men and women targets in Southeast Asia, but also back in the states... I still remember some of the looks I got when I traveled in my Air Force dress blues...


Whether one is supportive of the wars being waged today, it is reassuring  to see that America supports our soldiers...  There is still disturbing news. Just last night, there is talk that the United States Marine Corps is being faced with possible reductions in man-power, and possibly even being eliminated... How sad... they are celebrating their 235th anniversary of existence.

I am disturbed to hear news that Arlington Cemetery... where many of  America's military dead heroes are buried... has dishonored so many by burying many of the soldiers in the wrong graves... or disposing of their ashes in very disrespectful ways.


These people deserve our respect and our attention... Giving them the medical care, rehabilitation, and final respects are the least we can do...


I was disturbed to hear news on the television this morning about the number of "unattended" funerals for deceased veterans... where no one shows up for the service... 


We are the great nation that we are because we have had 235-plus years of people willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for our Country... for our Freedoms...

Honor our military members...

We owe them...

~shoes~

*Sighs*

I remember when I actually looked forward to birthdays...

...at what point does an adult look goofy wearing a birthday party hat while staring at a burning inferno?

We look at the smoke burning away and see the past decades... months... all burning away with it.

... all in all, I'd love to see this cake in action. Look at ALL of those candles.  Oddly enough, the number of candles seem about right.

I wonder if they ever have birthday cakes for 'Burning Man?'

I guess there's really no way of telling...

Blerk...

~shoes~