"Same As It Ever Was... Part III"

The past couple of days have been interesting...

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Ellen

I think I've just mentioned in passing, that my high school gf has caught up with me on facebook...  we have been talking more and more over the past week... she wants me to come out and visit over Spring Break... which is rapidly approaching...


We have re-visited so many things over the past emails and phone calls...  She asked me last night about why we broke up... that she didn't remember... I told her I did... she pressed me for what had happened, but I didn't want to tell her that she dropped me for the then high school bad boy... this seems to be a reoccurring theme in my Life...


So she says to me... I know it has to be that I started dating someone else... to which I replied... 'well... yes...'


Then she asks... was it so-n-so #1?
     No...
Was it so-n-so #2?
     No...
Was it so-n-so #3?
     Damn... how many people did she date around that time?!?!?!?!


She went on listing names for a bit longer... and then I told her that I thought we needed to change the topic...  Hmmm... maybe I wasn't as special then as I thought I was...


So she goes on to tell me that her Mom would always tell her... 'you should have never dumped that redshoes guy... he was so nice...  and that her Mom would make that comment every time she broke up with another boy friend...


I guess the last time I saw Ellen was at her Mom's funeral back in '86...  I didn't get to speak to her... she was with her husband... leaving the church after the funeral and heading to the cemetery...  She told me last night... that one of these days, she will tell me what she thought when she saw me at the church...  I wonder if I should be afraid...


She also asked... somewhat rhetorically... as to why she hadn't called me over the past years...  So I asked her... "why didn't you call me?  And had you called me, what would you have asked me??"   She didn't answer...


Have you ever thought about calling someone that you had been involved with? Especially at time when you were married??  


I am starting to wonder now why she has contacted me after all of these years...

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Jan

In the time that I have been divorced, Jan is one of the two women that I've been so heads-over-heels in love with...

I don't think Jan ever really processed her divorce... he was a rather high profile attorney... she was a very accomplished dentist... yet, when she caught him screwing his secretary on top of his desk at the law firm... after he had made partner... her life changed...  She made some bad relationship decisions... 

I met her... we dated for several years... and being a business person, I was trying to help with the business aspect of her practice... and of course, she always knew better... in talking with someone that knew her, I was told that she was 'always right... always perfect...'  And I knew that... many of the disagreements and fights we had during the time we were involved were because I wouldn't do something right...

Anyway... she had asked me my opinion about building a new clinic building.. trying to change the focus of her practice, while at the same time, saying that she was tired... and wanted to go back 'home'... which is Savannah...

She called me not long ago... telling me she had sold her new building... and her practice... and was in process of selling her house... and has a temporary job now in Savannah while she waits for her house to sell...


I would imagine that in the medical field, in difficult economic times,  dental care does lag along with ones ability to be able to afford it...

Then last night, I get a series of text messages... where she sounds so out of touch... depressed... saying that maybe she would join the military as a dentist... I see that she has lost control of her Life... of her Direction... I sense a great feeling of being "Lost" in her messages...  I wish I knew what to do... I wish I knew what to say... I wish I had something to offer her in the form of help...

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Suddenly... just being worried about whether I will have a position here at Alluvial Flood Plains State University next year... doesn't seem that upsetting... Things can be worse... I could be more upset and bothered...

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How many rock and roll videos do you know that include a set of bagpipes?

~shoes~