"Wednesday Shiznits"

We had more meetings today at Alluvial Flood Plains State University concerning a looming termination of a bunch of us...  the lack of communication, however, is really a bitch... these are things that have been looming... and the administration has chosen to not communicate with the faculty until now... 


We have yet to hear a word of any kind from our Dean... I think its time for him to go... right along with us... and in a pending time of no money for the university, some of the 'elite' got huge pay raises at the beginning of the academic year...


On a more poignant side... a long time colleague died in his sleep last night... he had been retired for a few years...  God Bless you, Tony... I will miss you... We all will...  Safe Travels, my friend...


I went to visit BoyShoes this evening... when I returned home, I had a text message from him... asking if I was ok... I hadn't told him about the mess at work... so I did... He's a neat kid... I am fortunate to have him for a son...


Monday night I started a post... and then deleted it and posted some goofy Indian stuff instead... and I had a small disclaimer about the sniveling shit I was going to post...  Being the glutton for punishment that she is, SouthernGirl said she wanted to know about the sniveling shit... so what follows is her fault... blame her... ok?? 


I had posted about August, 2008, when my ex called wanting to talk to me about our divorce... I told her that she should know more than she would ever want to know about our divorce since she was right in the middle of it... but... because I am NOT Tyler Durden I agreed to meet with her and discuss that horrible period of my Life... that continues to haunt me so many years later... 


I took her to dinner... so we could talk... and probably be in public just in case she decided to hit/shoot/stab/staple/punch/puncture/mutilate me... and so there would possibly be some witnesses to support my claims/allegations should I survive...


Before we started, I told her that I was willing to answer all of her questions, etc... but afterwards, I had some answers that I needed... and she agreed...


So... I asked her what she needed to talk about... and I thought that it might have to do with why we didn't have sex in the last 4 1/2 years of our marriage... or why she was verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive to the kids... or why she was verbally and emotionally abusive to me...


But no...

She wanted to know if I thought she was " a controlling bitch..."  


I remember during the negotiation part of our divorce... she and her lawyer were playing hard ball... and my lawyer referred to her as a "bitch"... I may be a host of things... but I told him that the entire time we dated... the entire time we were married... I never called her that... *shrugs*


Anyway... my answer to her was that (01) she was not controlling... and (02) she was not a bitch... 

BUT... I also told her that I thought she could be a very mean person... and she could...


Then I asked why she was asking me about being a 'controlling bitch'... and her reply was that the married guy she was dating called her that... and that I had told him that she was that way... and that was why we got a divorce...  I told her that I didn't even know this guy... and that I would have never said anything like that about her to someone...

*STUNNED LOOK*

I asked... don't you remember why we got divorced? What the dynamics were in our miserable fucked up excuse failing marriage??  She seemed confused... and unfortunately.. being a Life Time and probably a charter member of the "NICE GUYS CLUB," I wanted to make her feel better about herself... so we had a long conversation...  In a very very very very weak moment on my part, I confessed to her that I still love her... and I do... but... I could never go back into that chaos...


So then it was my turn... my questions were more directed towards what was actually the cause of our divorce... or at least dynamics of our divorce... We actually had a divorce trial... she and her lawyer would not settle... so we actually went through all of that chaos...


I've posted to the point where I've probably had followers stop following for another one of those damn divorce stories...


Anyhoo... I asked about... (01) Why did you testify that we had a viable marriage? (02) Why did you testify that we had an active sex life up until the very end of our marriage?? (03) Why did you testify that you had not file for divorce many months earlier...???


And all she could do was look at the floor... I never got my answers... but.. when she looked up from the floor... and I saw the tears in her eyes... I figured that was as close to an answer as I would ever get...


Sooo... how fucked up am I capable of being??? This past Sunday, BoyShoes and his girlfriend came over to my place to watch the Super Bowl (WHO DAT!!!!)  I made a big pot of jambalaya... some garlic bread... several bottles of wine and other assorted spirits.... and I asked  BoyShoes what his Mom was doing... and he said... she's going to try to find a place to eat dinner and watch the game...

SIGHS

To which I replied...  Why don't you call your Mom and see if she wants to come over... eat dinner and watch the game with us??? And she did... and I am ok with it... there's a great lesson for BoyShoes about how grownups are supposed to get along...

This is the part where you get to tell me how much of a dumbass I am for doing this...

So there's a host of posts about St. Valentine's Day...  I battled through some weak moments and maintained my dignity... you will have to ask if you want to know what I did... or what I didn't do...

I went to Boot Camp this evening... as usual, it kicked my ass... but... I am getting better already... I get further into each routine before I pass out...

I suppose that all in all... Life is pretty good...

~shoes~