I woke up yesterday (Saturday, December 15th) at 3:30 AM. I have been so stressed about having to deliver this talk to the graduating class. I tried, tried, and tried to go back to sleep, but just couldn't...
I am far from being a perfectionist, but I do worry about not embarrassing myself... I know I can do it... I've seen myself do it.
Anyway... here is the text of what I presented...
Good
morning...
Thank
you...
It is a great honor to have received the S.E. Kossman Award. In as much as it is suppose to reflect upon the work and success of the recipient, I came to realize that it also means that some of my colleagues felt that I was worthy of receiving such an honor.
That, alone, is a very humbling.
When one is asked to give a
commencement address, you come to realize that no one really is there to
hear you speak… it’s just something that has to be endured until we get
to why we really are here. You all are lucky… today you get to hear two
of them…
The most memorable commencement
speeches, more often than not, are the ones that turn into train wrecks.
I struggled with this idea… What
information could I have to share with you? I fear that I don’t have any
real advice for your future.
What I want to do is to approach
my comments to you... based on what I would say today to RedShoes when he was
graduating college for the first time quite a few years ago.
I remember sitting there... where
you are today and thinking... 'man, it's scary looking out there!'
Economic Uncertainty / No Jobs / Political
Chaos / War
I would
tell myself that 39 years later, it's still scary out there... and that the
safety net of being in school is about to disappear...
Economic Uncertainty / No Jobs / Political Chaos / War
I would say to myself…
"Believe in yourself..."
“Be yourself…”
Always listen to and follow your
heart... don't pay too much attention to the naysayers... You can't live
a positive Life with a negative mind...
Have confidence in yourself... trust yourself... The person that will hold you back the most in Love and Life is going to
be yourself... and the self-defeating voices that will come from within.
Two of
the saddest words in Life are, "What if...???"
Caroline Myss wrote: 'Do you really want to look back on your life
and see how wonderful it could have been had you not been afraid to live
it."
Find something that defines who
you are. Maybe it will be a pair of Red
Converse Tennis shoes… They are fun, and
after all, what kind of trouble can one get into wearing them?
I would say to myself…
"Don't be afraid to
fail..."
“DO learn from your mistakes…”
Go all out... be willing to fail
big-time and yet be graceful about it... Every wise man started as
such...
Life is 10% of what happens to
you, and 90% of how you respond to those events.
Dad used to tell me that Life
will come along and knock you down from time to time just to show you who is in
charge, and then help you get up... and then knock you right back down just to
make sure you got the message...
It's how we respond to those
events that will define who we are in Life.
I would say to myself…
"Be passionate about your
career and you will never have to work a day in your Life."
It may take you a while to figure
out what you want to do with your Life. Be
willing to go out and make a difference…
A limit on what you are WILLING to do, puts a
limit on what you CAN do.
I would say to myself…
"Things will get better...
and things will get worse... and then they will get better again..." Mom and Dad probably phrased it this way:
“Life Isn’t Fair… Get used to it.”
There are many cyclical patterns
in Life... Embrace the good times... work through the bad times...
Don't be passive in either... especially in the bad times. Remember
those who help you in the bad times... those are your real friends.
When times get difficult, don't
hide your head in the sand, but instead, get up and tackle the problems head
on.
Help someone when they need
help... anonymously if possible, but do help them.
Embrace the philosophy of 'Paying
It Forward.' These Acts Of Kindness make the world a better place...
Mark Twain quote: "Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die, even the undertaker will be sorry."
I would tell myself of something my Dad would someday say to me…
"Jimmy... I had no idea that
90 years could pass by so quickly..."
To me, this meant that I needed
to be aware that Time really is a scarce resource... that we each are allocated
just so much of it. I know for a fact that there are things that my Dad
wanted to do that went unfulfilled.
Don't wrap yourself up 100 % in
your work... take those trips... go to those wonderful places like Monument
Valley... Spend quality time with those you love and who love you... Don't let
work come between you and those people who are really important to you...
When those regrets eventually
arise, normally later in Life, they will be about the trips not taken... the
time not spent....
Life is a journey with problems to solve, lessons
to learn, but most of all, experiences to enjoy.
I would like to close with these thoughts…
Life
stops when you stop dreaming,
Hope
ends when you stop believing,
Love
ends when you stop caring,
Friendship
ends when you stop sharing.
Good Luck to you
God Speed…
Merry Christmas!!
After commencement, when I was outside trying to track down some of my graduated students, I was amazed at the number of graduates, as well as parents that I did NOT know that approached me to thank me for my message. It really did seem to be well received
I was fairly comfortable during the presentation of the talk, so I guess all of the preparation that I had put into the endeavor paid off...
If any of this talk looks familiar, go back and read some of the suggestions that YOU gave me HERE a few posts back when I was asking for help. Thank you SO much for your assistance.
I attended a party for one of my graduating students last night... I was totally surprised to see that her family had hired one of my favorite bands, "Blue Mother Tupelo"...
They are SO good!!!!!
Too much to drink, and too much to eat later, I was home crashing from a long, productive day...
Thank YOU ALL so much for helping me!!
~shoes~
I can't stop crying once I got to
ReplyDelete"The person that will hold you back the most in Love and Life is going to be yourself... and the self-defeating voices that will come from within."
You really put your heart into it Shoes. I hope your students realize how lucky they are to have had you for a teacher.
Thank you so much, Liz. I did put my heart into it. I honestly don't do things half-assed. Part of how I obsessed over this talk was to stress to myself that I wanted this to be good.
ReplyDeleteI was just out running errands, and was approached by three more individuals about my speech. On said it was the topic at their family noon lunch today.
Regardless of how much of a jerk I can seem to be on here sometimes, I really am a nice guy... :oD
~shoes~
That was one of the best speeches!. You covered it all!.This has really touched me and I am sure you have made those graduates really think!.
ReplyDeleteChris, thank you SO much! I could tell that some students were listening to me, because when I would stress my points, they were nodding in agreement with me... and I guess I made a point to make eye contact with them.
ReplyDeleteI love what I do... I wish it paid better, but then again, one doesn't go into teaching for the money...
Thank you again for your kind words!
~shoes~
This is just amazing. I can't stop crying. You have the biggest, most wonderful, open, loving, beautiful heart. Your students are blessed every single day. Yesterday, the entire student body was touched by the awesomeness that is you. They are, no doubt, better for it. And you even managed to reach into hearts all over the country, via this blog, with this powerful outpouring from your heart. We are all better for knowing you... even though we have never actually met. YOU ARE GOOD PEOPLE JIM!
ReplyDeleteNow, I desperately need a tissue. I am a mess... ((Hugs)) And thank you for that:) Even though I look a wreck, I feel incredibly inspired.
Hi, Robin... thank you so much.
DeleteAt times, I think I have way too soft of a heart for a guy... but it is who I am.
The world has become a meaner, crueler place... and I so wish it wasn't.
*huggles*
Thank you so much for your kind words...
~shoes~
Shoes: What great advice. I hope the graduates take it. They will have much better lives. The speech was terrific, short enough, and far from boring. You hit a homer!
ReplyDeleteHi, JJ... thank you SO much!!!
DeleteYou know how nice it is to have a short commencement address... ;oD
There was a great comment I wanted to use about speeches... supposedly, a good speech should be like the hem of a lady's skirt...
Long enough to be respectful, short enough to be interesting... ;oD
Thank you!!
Fantastic! I'm glad it went well. And that's a *wonderful* speech. :-)
ReplyDeleteHi, Max...
DeleteThank you SO much!!
How's the guitar playing coming along? I still covet that Casino!!
I've started relearning a bunch of songs from my past... 'Paint It Black,' 'Heart of Stone,' 'The Letter.'...
Turn it up!!
~shoes~
Terrific! Can you hear me applauding?
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I was reading thru going, hey, I think I said that!!
Does that mean we're all there with ya?
You wrote an amazing speech. And congrats on the award. It shows that your heart is in your work.
Hi, Ami...
DeleteI have to say that the post you wrote on the events at the school in Connecticut are right on.
Bless the hearts of all of those suffering souls right now...
Yes, you should have recognized your comment... one or two of them are in there... Of course you were there... this was a team effort!! :o)
As for the award, there are so many great teachers... and for me be one of the recipients just leaves me awestruck...
I am honored...
Thank you so much...
~shoes~
This actually is making me cry. Well, there u go it must be RedShoes Christmas time for "StormyDawn". Although, not in ur family, I hope u consider me a friend.
ReplyDeleteOn April 5th, my life changed. Changed a whole lot. I could no longer rescue myself. Oh up that point, I had rescued myself many times without anyone's knowledge. I had to share with my Dad via an email what really had been happening in my life for the last well since I was 13-years of age. I took five Benadryl just to try to get some sleep. I knew I would not overdose that was not my goal. Sleep was my goal having had none for 48 hours. My dad left five voicemails on my phone from the time he read that email until five hours later when I called him back. And what he said to me was "Ur email made me cry. I had no idea what you have been going through all these years. By urself and feeling like u had no one." I'm a good friend. That is the one thing I can say about myself. I have been a good daughter. My parents and my stepmom will tell u that. Not an ounce of problems did they ever have out of me.
And to this day, I still try so very hard to do the right thing and be the woman God wants me to be.
I have no regrets because I do take chances. That is the one thing I can say about myself. And I have been rejected many many many many times. Jobs, men, numerous things. Still I get up and dust myself off and try again.
I can number on one hand how many good friends I can count on. One would literally die for me if need be and I her. On April 5th, I found out truthfully who I could count on. After five tragic things happened in a matter of days. It was my dad that ultimately rescued me. The person I am most like. Oh and he does not let many close to him just like me. Keep people at a distance. Don't let them see the real u. Not a good thing especially when u are in trouble urself. Truth be said I would probably allow myself to suffer and possibly even die rather than to have to ask anybody for help. Being strong--being independent. Not such good traits sometimes when u are in trouble. It is hard to ask for help. It is hard to lean on people. Especially for me.
What if--
What if--
What if--
What if--
That was a good speech. It made me cry. I wish I'd seen it in person. Buttons always has to come first for me now. I am happy that u shared it. I was gonna ask u to then I decided I ask too much of u already and I need to stop.
I wonder whose lives we touch that we will never know about--never in a million years will they ever know how much they meant to us or to the direction of our lives.
Well, thank for the cry. I have needed a little bit of a soul cleansing these last few days.
StormyDawn and Buttons
Hi, Stormy...
DeleteDid your family member graduate??
You are right about never knowing who it is that we touch... who it is that we make a difference in their lives.
I hope Buttons is continuing to improve...
~shoes~
Yes they graduated. Police, nurses and firemen those r my family professions. Forgive me but I did not inquire about ur speech. She would inquire how do u know him. What should I say? For if I told the truth then u would not have ur privacy in the blog world.
ReplyDeleteButtons is improving. Six inch incision right above his wee wee. I took him out to cemetery so he could freely roam with no live people around. He gets excited around people.
No we really don't know whose lives touch ours. Sometimes we lose that person through death or events that keep us apart and we never get an opportunity to tell them how much they affected our lives. I wonder why it is so hard for us to express emotions of gratitude or more importantly love.
I am going to be extremely truthful with myself in 2013. To be open like I have never been in the past. To not hide from fear or from giving of myself.
For some reason, I feel time is running out and I do not understand why I feel that way.
Thank u for inquiring of my Buttons. I know that I have limited time with him. I wish he could be with me forever but I know it is not possible.
As I began reading...I noticed a few things I wanted to comment on. I continued to read and it dawned on me that I wanted to comment on everything. So let me just say......it was all awesome!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Middle Child... I hope all is going well with you!!
Delete~shoes~
oh Red, I wish you had talked at MY commencement. This was so honest, so raw, so amazing. No fluff no bullshit. Just pure form the heart truth. It is scary, but at the same time wonderful and if you are true to yourself, at least you can always look yourself in the mirror.
ReplyDeleteGood morning, Ana... Thank you. I wanted it to be straight forward. One of the comments I received from a student was that it seemed more like a conversation with them, than a speech.
ReplyDeleteOne never knows how these things are going to be received/perceived...
~shoes~
Shoes, your speech deserves a standing ovation. Bravo! What a truly fantastic speech, one can feel how much heart and soul you put into this. Such wise words........
ReplyDeleteYes-- ALWAYS listen to your heart/follow your bliss is what my mom
always told me since I was a little girl.
Hi there, Princess.
DeleteThank you so for your kind words...
Your Mom was a very wise woman. :o) I know how much you miss her...
~shoes~
I am so proud of you.
ReplyDeleteHey there, Robelyn... Thank you... :o)
Delete~shoes~