"HAPPY BIRTHDAY..."

... to Jaime over at RED RED WHINE...

Some birthday cake...

... and naked men...

There's a little something special... a man in a mask... and a birthday spanking for YOU!

Birthdays are special...

~shoes~

"Tag!! I'm IT or Plastic Joy!!..."

That lil nymph Senorita has tagged me over at her place with the "Plastic Joy Award..."

... and to fulfill the honors here, I have to tell you about five women that I would get it on with... woooo woooo!!!!!


Let's see... in no certain order...

Gina Gershorn...

She is nothing but hot and sexy... and if I were a golfer, she could kiss my balls and make my putter hot...

Here is another photo of her with Jennifer Tilly from the movie, "Bound"...

... and for the record I would do Jennifer Tilly too!!!

If I had Sherman and Peabody's 'Way Back Machine,' 

I would be sure to include 

Veronica Lake...

Good God, she was a good looking woman!!!

I saw her in several Turner Classic Movies a few weeks ago...  

she was sexy by today's standards back then!!

And if I were a Toon, I'd bop...

Jessica Rabbit... who, by the way, was inspired by Veronica Lake...

So even cartoon characters know what's sexy...

And then there's 

Rita Perrette... 

that kinky looking little lab gal from NCSI...

Something just says she would be HOURS of fun...

and then...

There's Brenda...

No photo... no last name...

She is the closest I've ever come to having sex with a student...

I met her some summers ago when she was coming back to school and needed an advisor... and she was assigned to me...

Beautiful... Gorgeous...

and we were attracted to each other immediately...

I was in the tail spin of the end of my marriage, but was still abiding by the vows that I took...  I was foolish either way... I was foolish to stay true to my marriage vows, but I would have been foolish to have tried anything with her...

She sure made it known she was interested...

Maybe I will post about her someday... in more detail...

She is the only former student that I've ever tried to find at a later point in time.

I know she's in Denver...

She is one of the few women I've ever crossed paths with...

that I was SURE could have sexually killed me...

____________

And now I have to pass this on to five others...

I shall select...

Spring Flower      Southern Girl     Stacy     

Jaime    Just Another Girl

Tag!! You're ALL it!!!!!!

~shoes~

"Monday Moment of 'Oh Shit' "

This is how I feel today...

I have a microeconomics class that begins on Thursday... plus I am chair of the College of Business Scholarship Committee... so I have a host of work to get done...

It's no longer a secret here around Alluvial Flood Plain State University that my major has been marked for elimination...

... and everyone is being WAY too fucking nice to me...

It's the 'walk up to shoes and hug him' and ask him how his weekend was...'

or...

'Hey Shoes... how are YOU doing???'

There is extra stress in the syllables... extra holding in the hugs... kinda like what you would expect to receive if you had some terminal illness...

It tends to make one feel a little... singled out...

It's almost the way you see people exchange pleasantries at funerals...

I saw one of the university administrators at lunch time... normally she doesn't give much of anyone the time of day... when she greeted me, people stopped and looked to see who the recipient of such an accolade...

Or a colleague that told me that I look like I had lost 30 pounds... so what was he saying? That I've been that much over weight? Bastard!! But I have lost weight... so maybe I shouldn't be quite so hard on him...

I did receive my employment contract for the up-coming academic year... it wasn't marked 'terminal' (and it DOES have THAT meaning)... but my chair told me that the administration could still send out letters as late as September 1 informing us that our contracts are terminal and, therefore, not renewable for the next academic year...

But... you know what? It's OK...

 Damn... I must not have received THIS issue of 'The Economist'...

I SURELY would have remembered THAT cover...

Surely, I'm just paranoid... no??

Paranoid? Me??

I mean... I wouldn't do ANYTHING that would cause me to stand out!!!

I really have been on a tear lately... no?

Love...

~shoes~

"O.K. Folks... I'm REALLY pissed now!!!!"

Folks... I don't get on soap boxes often... especially when it comes to politics...I have stated several times that I was not a big fan of George Bush and the job that the Republican Party did in the eight years that they controlled the White House.


I was not particularly pleased with any of the candidates from which we had to select in this last presidential election.  In part, I believe the primary reason that Obama won was due to the lack of satisfaction that the American people had with eight years of Bush.


President Obama's lack of leadership with the Gulf Oil Spill will cost him any opportunity for a second term. The people down here in this part of our country are angry... they are upset.  In addition, he is no longer the poster boy that captivated the world just two years ago... I think he had better enjoy the next two years...


Having said that, I am a BIG supporter of the U.S. military.  In January, 2007, President Bush named General David David Petraeus as commanding general of Multi-National- Force- Iraq and would lead all U.S. forces in the military campaign in that country.


I had problems with war being waged in Iraq when our major problems seemed to be centered in Pakistan and Afghanistan, but I always supported our troops.  This man made amazing progress in Iraq.  He is, in great part, responsible for the success of the 'troop surge.'


MoveOn.Org., an anti-war liberal advocacy group, ran the full-page advertisement (below) in the New York Times, on September 10, 2007.  This 'organization' accused General Pretraeus of  "cooking the books" for the Bush White House and smeared this man's reputation.

I imagine that it took a lot of guts (sarcasm here)

 to create and run this advertisement...

Imagine their shock when the Democratic version of George Bush goes and names General Petraeus to replace General  Stanley Allen McChrystal, after his ill-fated comments to some 'reporter' from 'Rolling Stone Magazine.'  I have no idea why General McChrystal felt he had to give that publication any credibility.  That is a moot point.


It simply amazes the HELL out of me... that on June 23, 2010, after President Obama names General Petraeus to replace General McChrystal... that MoveOn.Org pulls all of those advertisements.


That is a great show of strength on this organization's position.  It's ok to rake this man across the coal when someone from the 'other' political party names him to a position... but if a Democratic president (Obama) names him, it's O.K.  


Where is the moral outrage from MoveOn.org against President Obama?  If General Petraeus "sucked" for one president, why doesn't he "suck" for the other?

This is the photo that was copied 

in the cartoon spoof above...

Damn it, if you are going to take a position on something, stick to it!! Have balls!! Don't be a damn hypocrite!!

I wish this man all of the success possible, because his troops' lives depend on it... and the safety of this country depends on it...

God Bless America

Rant Off!!!!!!

I now return to my normal level of bullshit...

~shoes~

"The Travelling Wilburys..."

This grouping of musicians from other bands  has been one of my most favorite groups ever...  'The Travelling Wilburys'   

You can see clearer version of this video HERE...

Supposedly, the group was the brainstorm of Jeff Lynne (Electric Light Orchestra), and he was able to bring together George Harrison, Tom Petty, Bob Dylan, Roy Orbison, and Jim Keltner, an outrageously great drummer that doesn't get the accolades he deserves (in my opinion).  I wonder why Keltner didn't merit a childhood photo in the video?

What great talent! 

What a great meshing of voices!!

Look at ALL of those Gretsch guitars!!

Another one of their songs that I really enjoy playing and listening to is 'End Of The Line.'   The video isn't available for embedding but you can watch it HERE...

It's hard to believe that Roy Orbison and George Harrison are both gone... There is a rather poignant point in this video when Roy Orbison's vocal is played... and the focus in on an empty rocking chair in which his guitar is cradled... he had died by the time this video was made...

Maybe somewhere down the road aways...

You'll think of me, and wonder where I am these days...

_____________

~shoes~

"Fucked Up Tattoos..."

Rhut rho...


I was screwing around this morning... and ran across several web sites that specialize in misspelled tattoos...  They pretty much speak for themselves... so here goes...

_____________

This fellow has every right in the world to proclaim his love and support to his university... but... didn't he proof-read the copy?  Now it IS possible that he thought the university was named after Clarence Clemons, the sax player for the E-Street Band...

Poor fucker...

_______________

Poor guy... evidently he was in 'to' much of a hurry to know that 'to' should have been spelled 'too'....  I think I've had this guy in some of my classes before...

______________

I bet his Momma loves him... given that he is SO awsome...  Poor fucker... and somewhere out there... is a gal that thinks  he IS awsome because of that tattoo!!!!

Some gene pool we are fucking with here...

_____________

Oh  yeah... what a way to demonstrate to the systsem that you are bucking it!!!

Poor bastard...

And I guess what is strange/funny here, is that the tattoo 'artists' still got paid for these efforts...

______________

'Your mine, all mine!!!!!

DumbASS!!!!!!!!!

I would love to see the beauty that claims this hunk of manhood...

The real 'tradgey' here is that some son-of-a-bitch didn't know how to spell tragedy...

I can imagine it now... some kid sitting in an english class thinking... 'fuck...I'm gonna be a tattoo artiste... I don't gotta know how to spell...'

Poor bastard...

_______________

And I imagine at some point, she must think...

"I'm hot as hell!!!!!!"

_______________

Obviously, I am feeling better today...

~shoes~

"Kidney Stones and Hives.. OH MY!!!"

To say that the last few days have been exciting would be an understatement...

This is my right arm on Tuesday afternoon at about 4.00 PM...  You can find the story about my hives and what all I think causes them HERE...  I would call this out-break mild... I had a hives event on June 1 that caused me to go post haste to the infirmary at the university... that event was probably the worst one I've ever experienced... from each wrist up to my shoulders... on my torso... and as the nurse said when she gave me an injection, 'you even have these on your rear...'


So... I go to bed Tuesday night and awaken at 2.00 AM with the worst abdominal pains... having had kidney stones before, I knew what the Hell this was...


I made it to the bathroom... because the first thing that happens is very bad vomiting... and then the pain sets in...  I tried several times to call BoyShoes to get him to come and run me to the ER... but he was asleep... and probably had his phone turned off...


For about 4 1/2 hours, I rolled on the floor and moaned and groaned... God they hurt... if you've had them before, you know what I am talking about...


Finally about 6.30, the pain eased... and I was able to go to bed... stayed in bed all day yesterday... Finally felt like getting up for a bit last night...


I have a dr's appointment later today... and was googling 'hives' so I would have some questions to ask when I get to see the doctor...  On WebMD, I found something that really caught my attention...  it said that in extreme cases of hives (urticaria), the welts can form on the lining of the stomach... and create a pain similar to that of... kidney stones...

Anyhoo...

I've got a couple of jokes for you...


One of them really isn't a joke... its more of a definition...


Rodeo Sex:  When you enter your partner from the rear, wrap her hair around one of your hands... cup the other one under her grasping one of her breasts... then you tell her that she almost feels as good as her sister... and you try to hang on for eight seconds...

*sound of crickets chirping... *

Do you know the difference between a homosexual and a refrigerator??


The refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out...


Now, before any one bashes me, I heard this joke from a gay friend of mine...

So THERE!!!!

~shoes~

"Trip To Savannah..."

I've done some dumb things in my Life...


Jan... an ex-girl friend that I have probably written WAY too much about, sold her dental practice and moved to Savannah, GA...

It is indeed a beautiful city...

It is one of these kinds of scenes above where Forrest Gump told most of his story in his movie...

______________

Jan called... said she wanted to see me... needed to see me... so I went...

If nothing else, I am a stupid, fucked up, hopeless romantic dependable reliable friend...

I guess I was hoping that she had realized that, like she had told me once before, I was the best thing that had ever happened to her...

I guess I was hoping that she would apologize for all the times she's hurt me and has broken my heart... now, granted, the first heart break is on her... the others are my fault... I should have known better...

Instead, she's on the verge of an emotional break down... she told me, "Shoes, you've always been able to right me when things have gone wrong..."

... and then after she's righted, she pulls the carpet out from under me...

This time I went knowing that a friend needed help... but I guess I was hoping she really  'needed' me...

____________

I tend to be able to correlate songs to things... this is one that came to my mind over the weekend...

Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain...

telling me just what a fool Ive been...

I wish that it would go and let me cry in vain...

and let me be alone again...

I love the homage he pays to the BeaTles there at the end...

When the rain comes...

They run and hide their heads...

They might as well be dead...

When the rain comes...

(Lennon/McCartney)

Man, what a great song... what a great singer... Dan Fogelberg... I still can't believe he died a year  or so ago... none of us are immune, I suppose...

I've been a fool quite often when it's come to women...

And so it goes...

__________

So... yesterday was Father's Day... I was driving back home... I had received 'Happy Father's Day' greetings from three ex-girl friends and my ex-wife before I received a Father's Day greeting from either of my children...

BoyShoes told me he wanted to go to dinner with me... I told him what time I would be home, and we would go...

Much Mezkin Food and many margaritas later, it was time to go home...

... and guess who didn't have any money!!!!!

Bless his heart... I really do love my kids!!!!

I'm kinda down today...

I wish it would rain...

~shoes~

"Answers for Señorita II..."

... or "My Response to Big Incestuous Blog Circle..."


Hmmm.... I wonder what the difference is between a 'blog circle' and a 'blog circle jerk?'

Dayum... I didn't know there was a band named 'The Circle Jerks...'

_______________

Senorita asked that I answer some querstions to a blog survey...  and I thought I would play along... 

1. Do you write blog posts to please yourself or to please your audience?  

I used to journal a LOT!!!  I've found that since I started blogging, many of the things that would have gone into my journal end up here.  I guess the advantage is that sometimes, I get some responses to some problems that I may not have considered on my own... and sometimes I like to post funny stuff... but regardless, I do blog for myself... I feel I am fortunate to have picked up some followers along the way...

2. How do you make people visit your blogs and to elicit nice comments on your handy work? Do you employ the heavy mob to bully your readers or do you use your gentle wit, charm and good nature. Seriously, what do you consider the best way to interact with your fellow bloggers? 

I don't do anything out of the ordinary to get others to read my blog.  I think the best way to interact with fellow bloggers is to do what Senorita suggested... read their blogs and comment... I try to not be too much of a smart ass on the comments I leave...  my experience has been that there are tons of nice people out there... and some common courtesy and decency will carry one a far way... just like in real life...

3. If you were starting your blog again would you do something radically different?

No... I  had thought about blogging for a while before I actually started... and had come up with the name that I wanted to use...  I might would consider changing the template... mine is very basic... there are some great blog designs out there...

4. What is the most significant event in your life to date?

Hmmm... I would have to say there are four events... at least... I guess when I met and eventually married MrsRedShoes... and then related to that would be the births of our two children... even though they seem to break my heart on a regular basis, I love them so... and then the divorce...  Each of those changed my Life drastically...  

5. Would any of you like to appear on The Sunday Roast programme?

I don't know what this is...

6. What do you like to do in your free time?

Not in any order, I thoroughly enjoy playing one of my too many guitars... I try to play a bit every day... I've gone retro here lately, and have been working on some acoustic BeaTle stuff... 'Norwegian Wood,' 'You've Got To Hide Your Love Away,' and 'Here Comes The Sun...'  I continue to be blown away by George Harrison's guitar playing

I also enjoy blogging, reading, exercise, sex... again, not necessarily in that order...

7. If you could go back in time which event would be of interest to you most, and why?

Wow... I don't know... maybe go back to the early/mid 60's, live in England and get to experience the British Invasion from their standpoint... there were SO many great bands!!!

8. Are you addicted to blogging? Do you think it is addictive? or can you take it or leave it? 

No, I don't think I am addicted... yes, I do think it is addictive for some... leave it? I don't think so, but if I were to stop blogging, I would probably write in my journal more than I have lately...

9. Which person on planet Earth, past or present, do you admire most, and why?

My Mother... she was a saint... and God, do I ever miss her... and I would like to have known my Grandmother Brown that I have posted about... she had died long before I was born... and yet, there is this strong attraction to her... I posted about it before...

10. When this life is over do you think it is curtains or do you think there is an after life?

The operative word here is 'think'... as I have stated in other posts, I consider myself to be more 'spiritual' than 'religious' and have included explanations, etc... The more I talk with my Hindu friend, KP,  here at work, I more I believe in more lives... For example, I do believe that I could be the reincarnation of my Grandmother Brown...  

Now for some sick cartoons... I found these while googling 'circle jerk'...

LAFFS...

There is one that I am a bit nervous to post...

I think I will self censor myself...

If you want to see it, let me know and I will email it to you...

~shoes~