"Maureen..."

I am in the process of wasting a perfectly beautiful day here in my office...  I would love to be home working in my yard... or in Memphis tracking down some great Sunday afternoon music... or anything...


But I have a document that has to be processed and turned in tomorrow for 'merit pay' purposes... now, realistically, we haven't had any kind of pay raise here in the past few years much less 'merit pay'... yet this is one of those oxymoron-ish (is that a word?) things that we have to do in academia...


Out of absolutely nowhere, Maureen runs through my mind...


Nope... she's not another romantic failure in my life... she was a friend of  Girl Shoes back when they were kids...  I first met Maureen when my daughter and her were on the same little girls softball team when they were eight-years old...


Even then, Maureen was so pretty... so nice... so much fun... she had this great infectious smile... that when she would grin, you couldn't help but smile... she was all girl... yet quite an athlete... 


Girl Shoes was all girl, but I think missed the athletic gene part...  at least as far as softball and things like that went... Girl Shoes was quite a swimmer... and wound up with a university scholarship for swimming...


Anyhoo... I digress...


There are things in Life that happen to people that just don't make sense... one can sit and think about these kinds of things... and still just can't fathom a reason as to why some people have to experience... have to endure some of the things that they do...


Maureen was one of these people...


Maybe she was ten... when Girl Shoes was telling me that Maureen had to go to Memphis to see some "special doctors"...  She had developed this 'knot' on her tibia on her right leg... tests and all indicated that Maureen had bone cancer... and she started immediate treatment... it's been long enough ago that I can't recall what all kinds of treatment she received... but I do know that she took great delight when her hair fell out... she never wore caps to hide the fact... and never ever stopped smiling that beautiful radiant smile of hers...


Then the doctors had to amputate her leg... and treatment became even more aggressive... and it just wore her out...


During one of the subsequent treatment session in Memphis, doctors discovered a 'spot' on one of her lungs... and treatments changed...


And then she had a stroke... she wasn't even fourteen... these are things that are supposed to happen to people my age... not a kid...


She hung on... she never gave up... she graduated high school... and went to college here at Alluvial Flood Plains State University...  she was an art major...  she just wasn't strong enough to walk.... so she wound up with a wheel chair...


You would see her around campus... her chair ladened with all of her books and supplies and all... and that great smile...  I would see her and make up reasons to be going her way... so she could just hold on to her supplies... and I would push her to where she was going... We would talk about all kinds of stuff...


'Are you sure you are going this far out of your way?', Mr. Shoes, she would ask... and I would tell her, of course... I had better things to do than to go out of my way (fingers crossed)...  the truth was I had nothing I would have rather have done than helped her...


I remember arriving at work one morning... it was raining the proverbial "cats-and-dogs"... and there was Maureen trying to cross the street with her wheel chair... I got my umbrella... ran over to where she was... and told her I would make a deal with her... "if you will hold my umbrella and keep us dry... I will walk you to your building..."


To which she replied, "you have a deal!"


That was the last time I saw Maureen...  she was sick... and she died before the semester was over... before she got to get her diploma...


At commencement that Spring, the powers that exist here saw fit to award a posthumous diploma to her Mom for Maureen...  when the presentation was made,  a friend sitting next to me asked me why my eyes were tearing up... 


I told her that it was for a friend... who didn't deserve what Life had sent her way...

God Bless you, Maureen...

~shoes~

"Jury Duty..."

Over on her blog, "Red Red Whine," Jaime shares some entries from a book about questions and answers that have been transcribed in various court cases... you can read it here...


It reminded me of a story I saw in a newspaper... in which a police officer was being questioned by a defendant's attorney... about the reliability of several events the officer claimed to have witnessed...


The attorney asked the officer, 'How far can you see?'


And the officer replied, 'On a clear night, I can see clear to the moon...'  which was obviously  not the kind of response the attorney wanted...


This made me think about the time I was selected to be on a capital murder jury...


It was a horrific event... these three young thugs robbed an 85-year old man of $5.00 in order to go buy a bit of crack cocaine... and in the process of getting this $5.00, they felt it necessary to beat the little man to death with a pipe...  they stopped at his house... and lured him out to 'look at something in the back of their pickup that they wanted to sell...' and when they got him out there, they killed him.


The little man's body was discovered by his family... he had been dumped in a ditch... and there were several witnesses that were able to give the Sheriff's department enough information so that they knew who they were looking for...


The arresting deputy sheriff was being questioned by the defendant's attorney about the capture and arrest of his client...


The deputy had testified that the pick-up he was chasing hit some loose gravel and spun out of control... and that one of the individuals in the pick-up got out of the vehicle and turned and faced him...


'What did he do when he turned and faced you?' the attorney asked.


'He drew a pistol... aimed at me... and said "shoot me... shoot me, you mother-fucker!!" '


'And what did you do then?' (you  could see this coming)


The deputy... as cool as could be... said... 'I shot him!!!'


The court room burst into laughter... as the comment was funny... but the case wasn't...


I personally wish the deputy's aim had been better...  the individual who beat the little man to death... who was later shot by the deputy... was found guilty and sentenced to life-without-parole'...


Since he's been in prison, he has killed another inmate...  this fellow is just evil...

~shoes~

"Ghosts..."

Supposedly, I'm somewhat educated... fairly knowledgeable about many things... at least to the point where I can carry on a half-way intelligent conversation about different topics...


I am only puzzled by a few things... mostly involving love and relationships... but go figure... huh?


I have to admit that I am damn near addicted to those stupid ghost hunting shows on the Sci-Fi  Channel...

Even though most of the episodes are lame... they think they see 'shadows'... or exclaim.. "What was that?!?!"... or... "Did you see that?!?!?!"  Then at some point in the program, they all gather to review the 'evidence'... and something that sounds like a muffled fart is alleged to possibly be the ghost of Abraham Lincoln reciting the Gettysburg Address or something like that...


I'm not sure what is on the 'other side' when we die... where it is we go... if we even go anywhere at all...

I guess the idea of 'haunted New Orleans'... or the prospects of tortured souls looking for lost loves... or searching the battlefields where they are said to have died holds some sort of romanticism about it...


Supposedly, the Battlefield at Gettysburg is among the most haunted sites in the United States... specifically the part of the battlefield where Pickett's Charge took place... you can read about that attack here...

I've never had any first-hand experience with 'ghosts'... but something did happen some years ago... that my son and I still talk about...
My son, BoyRedshoes was about three... and early one Sunday morning, he is in our bedroom... shaking my shoulder... saying... "Daddy... wake up... wake up, Daddy..."


I ask him what he wants... and he says... "There's a woman in my room reading a story to me..."


That startled me because even though a child, he didn't ever go around making those kinds of stories up... so I got up and went to his bedroom.. I did see a "Babar The Elephant" book at the foot of his bed, but I always read to my kids at bedtime... and I had probably read that book to him on the previous night...

Lil Redshoes insisted that she was sitting at the foot of his bed... and when he had sat up to look at her... that she put her finger to her nose... as if asking him to be quiet so as to not disturb anyone...

I told him that no one was in his room... and that maybe.. just maybe... he had dreamed about it... he insisted she was there... I went back to bed... and Lil Redshoes came and snuggled with me until morning...

Off and on for the next couple of days, he would refer to the lady, although he never said he saw her again...

I've talked off and on about how I loved my Mom... how much I adored her... and how much I missed her after she died...  I had a photo of my Mom... that I got enlarged and framed...

This one evening, I was hanging the photo... trying to balance it... get the position right... and Lil Redshoes went running past me... and suddenly stopped and looked at the photo...

"Daddy... that's the woman who was reading the story..."

Mom had died before Lil Shoes was born... so he never knew her...  but my Mom would come over and read to Girl Redshoes whens he was little...  she would sit at the foot of the bed and read and carry on with her so... she so loved her granddaughter...

So I explained to Lil Boy Redshoes about who his Memom was... and how much she loved her grandchildren...  he never seemed to be afraid... for he would have had nothing to fear...  I don't know if it actually happened the way he told me it did... but, I hope it did... I like the idea of my Mom coming and reading to my little boy...

~shoes~

"Same As It Ever Was... Part III"

The past couple of days have been interesting...

______________

Ellen

I think I've just mentioned in passing, that my high school gf has caught up with me on facebook...  we have been talking more and more over the past week... she wants me to come out and visit over Spring Break... which is rapidly approaching...


We have re-visited so many things over the past emails and phone calls...  She asked me last night about why we broke up... that she didn't remember... I told her I did... she pressed me for what had happened, but I didn't want to tell her that she dropped me for the then high school bad boy... this seems to be a reoccurring theme in my Life...


So she says to me... I know it has to be that I started dating someone else... to which I replied... 'well... yes...'


Then she asks... was it so-n-so #1?
     No...
Was it so-n-so #2?
     No...
Was it so-n-so #3?
     Damn... how many people did she date around that time?!?!?!?!


She went on listing names for a bit longer... and then I told her that I thought we needed to change the topic...  Hmmm... maybe I wasn't as special then as I thought I was...


So she goes on to tell me that her Mom would always tell her... 'you should have never dumped that redshoes guy... he was so nice...  and that her Mom would make that comment every time she broke up with another boy friend...


I guess the last time I saw Ellen was at her Mom's funeral back in '86...  I didn't get to speak to her... she was with her husband... leaving the church after the funeral and heading to the cemetery...  She told me last night... that one of these days, she will tell me what she thought when she saw me at the church...  I wonder if I should be afraid...


She also asked... somewhat rhetorically... as to why she hadn't called me over the past years...  So I asked her... "why didn't you call me?  And had you called me, what would you have asked me??"   She didn't answer...


Have you ever thought about calling someone that you had been involved with? Especially at time when you were married??  


I am starting to wonder now why she has contacted me after all of these years...

______________

Jan

In the time that I have been divorced, Jan is one of the two women that I've been so heads-over-heels in love with...

I don't think Jan ever really processed her divorce... he was a rather high profile attorney... she was a very accomplished dentist... yet, when she caught him screwing his secretary on top of his desk at the law firm... after he had made partner... her life changed...  She made some bad relationship decisions... 

I met her... we dated for several years... and being a business person, I was trying to help with the business aspect of her practice... and of course, she always knew better... in talking with someone that knew her, I was told that she was 'always right... always perfect...'  And I knew that... many of the disagreements and fights we had during the time we were involved were because I wouldn't do something right...

Anyway... she had asked me my opinion about building a new clinic building.. trying to change the focus of her practice, while at the same time, saying that she was tired... and wanted to go back 'home'... which is Savannah...

She called me not long ago... telling me she had sold her new building... and her practice... and was in process of selling her house... and has a temporary job now in Savannah while she waits for her house to sell...


I would imagine that in the medical field, in difficult economic times,  dental care does lag along with ones ability to be able to afford it...

Then last night, I get a series of text messages... where she sounds so out of touch... depressed... saying that maybe she would join the military as a dentist... I see that she has lost control of her Life... of her Direction... I sense a great feeling of being "Lost" in her messages...  I wish I knew what to do... I wish I knew what to say... I wish I had something to offer her in the form of help...

______________

Suddenly... just being worried about whether I will have a position here at Alluvial Flood Plains State University next year... doesn't seem that upsetting... Things can be worse... I could be more upset and bothered...

______________

How many rock and roll videos do you know that include a set of bagpipes?

~shoes~

"Same As It Ever Was... Pt II"

I can't vouch for how authentic this story below is... but the perverted part of me really really hopes its true... I would cherish this child if he or she was mine...

________________

Maddie asked in the comments section of my last post about the lyrics that Southern Girl cited...

YES!! That's 'Once In A Life Time!'

What a GREAT song!!!!!!

Same as it ever was...

Same as it ever was...

Same as it ever was...

____________________

This story may have been in the Wall Street  Journal today...

 but I seriously doubt it... but it would be neat had it been...

Renault and Ford are working on a new small car for women...  They are blending the best parts of the Clio and the Taurus... and will call the hybrid the 'Clitaurus'...

It will only come in pink...and the typical male auto thief will never be able to find it... even if someone tells him where it is...

______________

Part of me finds this cruel and inhumane...

The other part of me finds it funny as hell...

_______________

~shoes~

"Same As It Ever Was..."

The nonsense here at Alluvial Flood Plains State University continues...

We had meetings today about what "COULD" happen given the current budget constraints... and what our institution "COULD" look like in just a couple of years...

And we are then told we shouldn't worry about our jobs...

Yeah.... 

Right...

So I continue to amuse myself...

_______________

I can so relate to the cartoon above...

I wonder at what point 'tadpole' sperm evolves into "Godzilla" sperm??

That should be quite a quantum leap from "frog" sperm...

This reminds me of my ex... and the huge number of "in door" cats she would keep...

Do you know where 8 indoor cats crap and pee???

EVERYWHERE!!!!!

It's true...

I've seen it...

__________________

I took my dear sister to dinner last night...

There is just something inherently wrong when a sister that is 20 years older than I am starts talking about boobs... and how her butt feels like a bag of apples...

That is just wrong... so wrong...

A senior citizen goes in for his yearly physical... because he is hard of hearing, he takes his wife along with him...

After the doctor finishes the routine check-up, the doctor says, "I am going to need a stool sample and a urine sample..."

The old man turns to his wife and asks...

"What did he say??"

The wife yells back, "He wants your underwear..."

_______________

Isn't that beautiful?
(Click on the image)

That's Monument Valley looking south from Utah...

Right along this stretch of Highway is where Forrest Gump stopped running...

Speaking of Forrest Gump, I read that Tom Hanks didn't receive a salary for his role in the movie... instead, he took percentage points which netted him around $40 Million...

I last visited here in May, 2008... I think I am going back over Spring Break...

I'm not sure why this place speaks to me so much... maybe I lived around there in a previous life...

I've told my kids that at the time of my death, I want to be cremated and have my ashes dumped out there... preferably around one of the 'Mittens'...

Can't wait for Spring break... just a few weeks away!!!

~shoes~

"Sunday Night Post Highjacking..."

I had written this long, drawn out post about my Dad... and the fact that he's been gone fourteen years tomorrow... and how much I miss him... and how much it hurts that I will never  see him or Mom again...

But I don't want to be down...

So I wrote this post about how the two women that I have fallen the hardest for since my divorce... have essentially been like 'Jenny' in "Forrest Gump"... just comes around from time to time... seemingly just to let me know they are ok... and then they are gone again...

But I don't want to be down...

_______________

So I've high-jacked my own post with some stupid shiznit...

Poor Ol' Tiger gets it again...

Did any of you watch his 'Apology' on TV the other day?

I'm not sure he owes the public anything...

I think he owes his corporate sponsors a great deal...

And I think he owes his wife a GREAT deal...

And one of the women he was messing with said tonight that she felt slighted because she wasn't apologized to...

This has re-defined him...

Now... maybe there is something to the sexual addiction allegations here...

Or maybe that's only an excuse... to save face...

Who knows...???

Hmmm... I still seem to be fixated on women eating bananas...

Go figure...

This is funny... evidently they watched 'Troy'...

That's a good idea...

If Freddie Prinz was still alive, he could play the Mexican version of Achilles...

And these are just pretty funny, I think...

I agree... I remember sex... regardless of how bad it was...

This also strikes me as being funny...


Of course, I'm guessing that pain is relative...
_________________

Anyway... this was better than reading about Dad...even though he died fourteen years ago... and I still miss him...

~shoes~

"Olympic Fucking... Errr... Fucking Olympics... Errr...."

Every two years, when the Olympics are held, this is always one of the more amazing stories about the Games...  It seems that the I.O.C. and the Vancouver  Olympic organizers have made available to the Olympic athletes about 100,000 condoms, or as this article states, about 14 condoms per athlete...


I wonder if the condoms provided by the Olympic games end up with a 'trade value' much like many of the Olympic pins that you see the different athletes trading among themselves?

The experts argue that this is what happens when there are so many beautiful people around...

Obviously... based on that video... I'm in somewhat of my Tyler Durden mode today...

I wonder if the various studios where the news anchors... and the meteorologists gather to do their news and weather segments have a community condom bowl? That is some front that fellow up there is sporting...

I wonder if there are  condoms for bananas???

And why do so many people think that eating a banana is sexual?

Hmmm... I do remember a certain woman at a restaurant that would order an ice cream cone... and EVERY man in there would watch her eat it...

I'm not sure where this turned into a post about "eating..."

I must be in an 'oral' phase today...

And... I'm not sure about this... this just struck me as being funny...

I wonder if Brian uses condoms???

~shoes~

"Violence And The Work Place..."

Much has been written and addressed in the news in the past week about the shootings committed by Amy Bishop... a disgruntled professor at the University of Alabama at Huntsville...  Steve over at Steve's Nude Memphis Blog just recently posted about the event.

She had been denied tenure at the university... appealed that decision... and evidently, during the meeting where she was being told that her appeal had been denied, she shot and killed three of the members of the committee... wounded three others...


She has had a violent history... I am amazed that no back ground check was performed... I mean, this day and age, one can google and name and several other variables... and find all kinds of info that exists out there...


Among her violent acts in her past was when she shot and killed her brother... she claimed it was an accident... but she shot him with a pump shotgun... and must have accidentally worked the action several times to reload the weapon and accidentally pull the trigger...


And then there was the pipe bomb incident... but she ends up teaching...


If you have read my recent posts about the work environment here at Alluvial Flood Plains State University, you are aware of the stress that many of us are experiencing due to budgetary constraints and fears of losing our jobs...


I received the 'Outstanding Faculty of the Year" award  two years ago for the College of Business... but what one has done in the past... stays in the past... and you receive no merit for those past accomplishments...


A professor in the College of Education here was denied tenure this week... after what happened at UAH last week... when the meeting was conducted to inform this person that tenure was being denied, the university made sure that an armed police officer from campus police was present... it seems that this individual has a past of being rather vocal and boisterous about various positions that have arisen in the past.  I have been on several committees with this individual... and have never seen a possible violent side... but at this point, no one is taking any chances...

_____________________

Several years ago... after the shootings at Virginia Tech... we had several bomb scares here at AFPSU... and had a week's worth of classes cancelled... when classes resumed... I noticed this one young lady seemed to be greatly distressed... I asked her what was wrong... and she told me... "I'm afraid that someone could come through the class room door and shoot us..."


I tend to laugh and joke a great deal... but this was no time for humor... I asked her what could we do to make her feel better... and she told me that she would like the class room door closed and locked... and I assured her we could do that each and every class period...  She sat next to a football player... and to lighten things up a bit... I told him that if someone were to break through the door, his job was to tackle him...  That lightened the mood of the class up a bit... but that made that student feel so much better...  The idea that there IS a plan... the idea that we COULD do something...


A colleague was asking me just moments ago... "I wonder why someone at the meeting didn't do something???"


My thoughts are that when things like this happen, there is such a shock to our consciousness... that there is almost a disconnect...

____________________

When I was in the 9th grade, we had a place here in town that Mom and Dad had told us  was strictly off limits!!  And of course... when Mom and Dad tell us not to do something... we do it...


My brother and I had gone to this place... you drove up... ordered your sandwich... fries... cokes... and when they brought you your food... you sat in your car and ate... and drank... and talked... this one afternoon... my brother and I were eating... and he started the engine to the car...  I asked, "Are we leaving?"


"No... there's going to be a fight over there (John pointed over there) and I want to get to where we can watch it...," 


So.. I'm sitting there... eating my sandwich... watching this fellow dressed in a white t-shirt and blue jeans cussing this fellow sitting inside a pick up truck out... the fellow in the pick up must have said something that angered the fellow outside the truck... the fellow standing opened the door of the truck... leaned in to grab that fellow... and...

POW!!!!!!!

The fellow inside the pick up truck had pulled a pistol and shot that guy... as quickly as I heard the sound of the shot, there was this small little * on the back of that fellow's white t-shirt... and everything went to slow motion.... and when that fellow who had been shot turned and faced us... I told John... "he's dead..."  It happened so quickly... yet, it was all in slow motion...


And he was dead... I didn't sleep or eat for several days, it was so upsetting to me...

I wouldn't have known what to do... I wouldn't have known how to respond... then...

The result of the events of that day, I thought... I will never be caught flat-footed again...

I tend to be able to always do the "right thing"... when an action is required...

These are scary times... these are tense times... 

The manufacturer of Benadryl is really liking me right now...

I should have bought stock in that company...

~shoes~