Bizarro Shoes…
Do you know A "Rose???"
"Rose"
Charlie Harper's Stalker
"2 1/2 Men"
She seems to be somewhat harmless... desires Charlie's love and affection... but, Alas, Charlie has a 'love-em-and-leave-em' philosophy... and Rose is one of his discards.
You can see 'Rose' in action HERE.
There was this woman I dated... Hell... ten years ago?!?!?! I became a bit nervous about her, when she announced to me one evening during an argument, that "...had I married her like I was supposed to, she could have kept her house!!"
She had told me that an "aunt and uncle" had left the house to her in their will... it seemed to be a story that was ladened with bullshit... but I digress...
She eventually married... and just by coincidence, the fellow she married was named... "Shoes"... I would refer to him as 'Bizarro Shoes'... imagine that... or maybe, just maybe...
Fuck… maybe I’m Bizzaro Shoes!!!!
'Bizarro Superman'
Looks kinda like a zombie...
Doesn't he?
If you aren't familiar with Bizarro Stuff, you can read about it HERE.
Anyhoo, the hurricane that became known as Katrina came through that part of the country, and "slabbed" all of the houses in that landfall... as much as New Orleans likes to claim that they were Ground Zero for Katrina, it wasn't... The Mississippi Gulf Coast at Bay St. Louis was... look it up...
A Song About A Mighty Storm
When the storm was heading towards the Gulf Coast region, she called wanting to know if she could come up and stay with me for a 'few days'...
I recalled the history of a hurricane named Camille... and the damage it wreaked down there...I could see that I could have her living here a LONG time... blah... I was able to convince her to go to Atlanta... she was there eight weeks... I would have either killed her or myself had she stayed here...
When she returned home to the Gulf Coast, she saw that her new house just had shingles blown off of it... she called me crying... I told her she had nothing to cry about... get someone to get up there and nail some new shingles down, because there were people in those coastal counties that didn't have houses...
She went on to thank me for my actions... breaking up with her, etc., because had we married... had we stayed... "she" would have then had "her" house... (it's funny, the perception that people have when they marry... I thought assets became "ours")... and at that point in her Life, she would indeed be homeless.
Anyway... I digress... Friday night, my land line phone rang. I hardly ever answer it now... anyone I would want to talk to has my cell number. I later played it back... and it was 'Rose'... she was telling me that she and her husband were in New Orleans down on Bourbon Street... and she got to thinking about me... and decided to call.
I was thinking then about Bizarro-Shoes...
Poor guy... unless you were into that kind of stuff, it must be difficult to be involved/married to someone that thinks about other men she used to date... I mean, there you are... on Bourbon Street... one of the most decadent streets in the United States... especially at that time of night... and she was thinking of Shoes...
At least, my perception of 'Rose' is that she's harmless... she tends to only call when she's drinking/drunk... she's kind of like those Indians in 'Jeremiah Johnson'... you just suddenly notice that she's been there...
On the other hand, the real stalker... that I now refer to as 'Cujo'... the one that is currently in one of my classes, I think of as being dangerous...
That image looks about right...
~shoes~
What you already have a stalker?? But I thought I was your stalker!! Now who am I going to prey on???
ReplyDeleteEr... well.... ;)
DeleteI......um, get new shoes and a different dog?
ReplyDeleteYou lucky devil you! All that attention...haha.
ReplyDeletei'm with lil' dreamer... i thought i was your stalker?!?!?! geesh... how many stalkers of yours am i going to have to dump over the balcony before i can make you mine? dayum.
ReplyDeletexoxo
Gobbles
p.s. on a serious note - i have a real stalker with the whole restraining order thing/drive-bys, etc. etc. it's scary stuff.
p.s.s. yer pretty unforgettable... poor stalker's new guy - he has such big shoes to fill....
God.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with Cujo.
I am NOT a stalker and won't stalk you, promise.
No really. TRUST me. Have I ever lied to you before?
@ All of you... You are all insane... INSANE, I tell you!! :oD
ReplyDeleteNow that I have that out of the way...
@ Lil Dreamer... if you are stalking, you are more of a stealth stalker... in that I never picked up on your stalking of me. Cujo up there has left notes stuck on my vehicle over night. That is unnerving.
@ Middle Child... I don't have a dog... maybe that's it... Hmmm. All in all, I like my red shoes.
@ Bouncin' Barb... if you really knew me, you would know that I do NOT like that kind of attention. 'Rose' is harmless; I feel for her husband. Cujo, on the other hand, is a problem.
@ Gobbles... apparently, the stalking line starts on the Left. You've shared the story of your stalker with me, and it's not funny. There are some strange people out there. I think 'Rose's' husband is ok as long as 'Rose' doesn't drink...
@ Ami... no ma'am... you've never lied to me before... ever... never... :oD
~shoes~
We've been wondering if there were any new developments with your stalker. That's pretty unnerving. I don't know that either of us has ever been stalked, exactly, but we have experience in warding off unwanted advances, or at least in trying to. And your story of "Rose" is all too familiar to me. Hell, your story reminded me of a couple women I dated in my much younger days, though I wonder if either was as harmless as she looked.
ReplyDelete-Jack
Geez...I'm a little jealous. I've never had a stalker. Well, I guess my ex-husbands mistress who continues to lurk on my blog is a stalker...but like a real live stalker that leaves notes?
ReplyDeleteYou got me there!
PLUS your stalkers are in multiples?
Crazy shoes.
"Rose" was HOT on the television show. That's all I'M sayin'....
ReplyDeleteUm ... Shoes? Please be careful with both your stalkers. "Rose" pushed the "love of her life", Charlie, in front of a train. And we'll never know if Cujo was possessed or poisoned. So, please take care!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you have an interesting life!
ReplyDeleteHi there, Shoes! There are Roses everywhere. Before you know it, they start calling you on your cell phone too. I once had a student who said she knew I wanted to. The fact that I didn't want her didn't matter. I once had another student. She pushed her table against my desk - mind you: lesson one - and she said, 'I think you're great in bed.' Well, the list is endless. Mel Brooks once said, 'It's good to be the king.' I'm not so sure about being a teacher, though. And how old is 'your' Cujo? I mean, a big fellow like yourself would know how to ditch the bitch by now, right? Hit her on the head with your guitar?
ReplyDeleteLiked that clip. I stopped watching when Charlie got kicked out.
You have a nice day now, Shoes. Tell Cujo to cut down on the stalking business or else the scary Blue Man is gonna come over to teach her a lesson. ;)
I've always thought the character of "Rose" is funny on but in real life a person like "Rose" I would say she is psychotic. Take care & be careful.
ReplyDelete