Liam Neeson... Not Liam Larry...
I call him Liam Larry because, to me, he resembled Liam Neeson when he started work here... not so much now, but once we name someone, names tend to stick...
Liam Larry once came up with this brilliant observation... 'we can't pick our nicknames...' When one thinks about it, that is true... Liam Larry has taken to calling me 'Optimus Prime' for some reason... I would much more prefer to be called 'Octopus Prime' but he refuses to play along...
Octopus Prime
Anyway... I digress...
Liam Larry is capable of making me wanna go postal... Liam Larry manages to push ALL of the wrong buttons...
Liam Larry does NOT take care of himself... A few years ago, we had two colleagues here in the College of Business at Alluvial Flood Plain State University to die within a very short time of each other. Being the kind of
I immediately went about creating a short list of who would possibly be next... as much as I hate to admit it, Liam Larry was #1 on that list... that is NOT the kind of list on which one wants to be #1...
There's another fucker here that has wormed his way into a solid #2 position. In reality, they are probably tied for first... Just about EVERY bodily function that one can have as a human being has started shutting down on this fucker... (can you tell I'm in a "mood" this afternoon??)
_____________
Right after commencement, I get a phone call that Liam Larry is in the
me: 'WTF are you DOING?!?!?!'
Liam Larry: 'Checking myself out of the hospital...'
me: 'Larry, you are having heart failure... you are going to die!!'
Liam Larry: 'They don't know what they are doing... I want to go home...'
me: 'Larry, you are having heart failure... you are going to die!!'
Eventually, a nurse comes in... and Larry is SO rude to this woman... talking down to her... I was so embarassed for him... I felt so sorry for her... I got up, excused myself, and left... I have no capacity for someone being mean/ugly to another...
A secretary from our office talks Liam into staying in the hospital... Not checking himself out AMA... The next day I go back to visit... there is a dry erase board propped up in his room with his name and other information on it... I see that after his name... in another's hand writing... is 'PhD'... I guess Larry was wanting to let them know he was a 'doctor'... I don't get all caught up in titles... inflated egos... a little of that goes a long way with me...
Anyhooters (as Senorita says), Larry checks himself out and goes home... a few days later, Larry is back in the hospital with congestive heart failure... by the time I get to the hospital to check on him, he's checked himself out. His Mom and sister from Zachary, LA come to get him.. to have him at home over the Christmas holidays... and to see some doctors down there. I learn yesterday that Larry is back home and refused to see ANY doctors down there... Larry says his problem isn't that bad. Larry, Jerry, and I went to lunch today... and I told Larry that when he dies, I am NOT coming to his funeral because he is a DUMBASS!!!!!!!!! He is, too...
____________
So... I was having an IM conversation with someone yesterday...
her: you know what i hate? people who accumulate at my desk and
then start talking to each other and it has nothing to do with
me, but they talk and talk... hello, i'm here. i don't give a
shit!!!! They all have offices with fucking doors. just go there.
That is just impolite, you know?
me: yes it is! that happened recently with Larry and Jerry...
thats normally when I just cut a really really big fart...
the fuckers accumulate in my office... start talking
shit... and its like Ive died or something...
only they aren't talking about me...
Sooo... do people accumulate at your desk...??? in your office...??? and then proceed to talk around you, but not include you in the conversation...??? Hell, Larry once forgot he was in my office... he got up and started looking for a text... said he couldn't find it... I asked about what it was he couldn't find... he said the name of the book, and I reminded him that his fat ass was in MY office...
There you have it... a snippet in the Day In The Life of Shoes...
Shoes Hard At Work...
~shoes~
Now, I know the plus side to having migraines, being sick all of the time, and not able to work. I have no office and never leave my bedroom. Of course, my bedroom gets NO visitors. I would like it to have visitors others than my mom occasionally. I think I am about to go to a really personal place that doesn't belong in your comments.
ReplyDeleteRobin Out.
aagh, when i had a cubicle in my old job, people would stand outside and converse for freaking HOURS. it was annoying as all hell. i hated it.
ReplyDeleteas far as your stubborn friend: i have given up on trying to convince people who are that deadset on killing themselves that they are indeed killing themselves. it's so completely insane. but, morbid as it is, it is in fact his funeral. sigh.
It's funny... seems that people who don't take care of themselves always manage to live longer than we expect them to.
ReplyDeleteLovely pic!!
I dig the pic of the shoes, Shoes.
ReplyDeleteI've known a few Larrys, difficult to be in their lives, let alone their friend.
Ya know, everyone gets to design their own life. If they are a stubborn selfish assholes who don't care about themselves or the people who love them, they act like Larry. As to not going to the funeral, so what! Larry won't know or care and funerals are put on for those who remain and as I said, everyone gets to design their own life!
ReplyDeleteNope, no one congregates around my desk. There was a time when I had the only TV in the place that EVERYONE came and sat on my couch for break or lunch!
Hello, my sweet! I just wanted to let you know I've passed an award along to you on my blog. Feel free to ignore it if awards aren't really your thing, just wanted you to know I think you ROCK!! Cheers!
ReplyDeleteIt's clear to me that Larry wants to die, and that is so sad :(
ReplyDeleteMy blog is private for a couple of days, but I will be back so please don't forget me, Shoesies !
I lost a Larry.
ReplyDeleteBut I liked him.
I hope your Larry survives the idiocy.
Wow.. so much to absorb in one post. I guess I hope Larrys will to live is bigger than his brain.
ReplyDeleteAnd the desk issue... don't even get me started!
I work about as hard as you do Octopus Prime... 'cept my shoes today are pink and brown boots. And I have the great Wackamo hangin' on my wall. hmmmm...
ReplyDeleteAs for Larry... he just doesn't realize (or maybe he doesn't care) how incredibly precious each breath is. Send him to me for one day - I'd send him back to you with a whole new mental status. LMBO!
I just tune people out when they are standing over me talking...
"I'm sorry - what did you say?" is duct taped on my forehead between 9am and 5pm each day.
;-D xoxoxoxo
gobbles
I don't know whether to laugh at or have sympathy for your friend. But in an open plan office, the number of people stopping by my desk not to talk to me is incredible and never fails to bug me - but I've come to ignore them - to the point where when they're actually talking to me, I wasn't paying any attention.
ReplyDeleteWe all know people like Larry, and it's sad that you can't always help them.
ReplyDeleteOn the plus side, Octopus Prime is a badass nickname, and I love that picture.
PS I have those same red shoes. They're my favorite pair. Happily following!
@ Robin.. Oh RATS!!! That was just starting to get interesting!!!!! ;o)
ReplyDelete@ Magnolia... I know... it's just that Ive been to so many funerals for colleagues lately, it seems... :o( As for people hanging around your desk/office... farting does seem to clear em out... ;o)
@ France... I see England... I see France... hmm.. wait a minute!!! You aren't wearing any.. er... never mind... :oD Yeah, they DO seem to live forever... don't they??
@ Jessica... Thanks!! I was inspired by one of YOUR photos... of which I still need to work into a post!!!
@ Charlene... I know... but Larry is SUCH an interesting person to write about!!!!
@ Anything Fits... Aw shucks... Thank you!!! I will take care of it!! Thank you so much for thinking of me!! :o)
@ Senorita... I think its more that Larry just doesn't want to be inconvenienced by things like Drs and hospitals and such... he's such a goofball... Of course I will miss you!!! *huggles*
@ Ami... yeah, we miss them when they are gone... don't we... :o(
@ Solo... unfortunately, Larry has a HUGE brain... and because of that he has zero social skills... I posted once about him standing up in the middle of a restaurant one day and singing from a Broadway show loud enough that people looked and a couple of kids at a table next to us cried...
@ Gobbles... I am sure that we could define the size of our office space/cubicle, the # of people with whom we work, and we could devise some kind of mathematical equation that could answer the number for us... You are right, we probably miss something really important when we 'zone out' on others...
@ La Cremiere... I am sure that we could define the size of our office space/cubicle, the # of people with whom we work, and we could devise some kind of mathematical equation that could answer the number for us... You are right, we probably miss something really important when we 'zone out' on others...
@ Beer... Yeah, the world is full of "Larry's" and all other types of social misfits...
I like Octopus Prime better than Optimus... but like Larry says... we don't get to pick our nicknames...
~shoes~
I am not sure why this post made me laugh so hard. I guess I am an asshole like you! :)
ReplyDeleteLOve ya!
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ReplyDelete@ Danielle... If you are an asshole, then we are in GREAT company!!! :oD As for laughing, one has to laugh at Larry... one has no choice... really...
ReplyDelete~shoes~