"Economic Stimulation..."

Another Public Service Announcement from ~Shoes~

Sometime this year, we tax payers will receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

This is, indeed, a very exciting program, and I'll try to explain it by using a 'Q & A' Format.

________

Q.  What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment?

A.  It is money that the Federal Government will send to taxpayers. 

Q.  Where will the Federal Government get this money?

A.  From Taxpayers.

Q.  So Government is giving me back my own money?

A.  Only a smidgen of it.

Q.  What is the purpose of this 'Stimulus Payment?'

A.  The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a  high-definition television set, thus, stimulating the Economy.

Q.  But... isn't that stimulating the economy of China?

A.  Shut up.

________

Below is some advice on how best to help the U.S. economy by spending the money wisely.

(A) If you spend the money at Walmart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.

(B) If you spend the money on gasoline, the money will go to the Arabs.

(C) If you purchase a computer, the money will go to India, Taiwan, or China.

(D) If you purchase fruit and vegetables, the money will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.

(E) If you buy an efficient automobile, the money will go to Japan or Korea.

(F) If you purchase useless stuff, the money will go to Taiwan.

(G) If you pay your credit cards off or purchase stock, the money will go to management bonuses and they will hide it off-shore.

Instead...

Keep the money in American by:

(01) Spending it at yard sales... or...

(02) Going to Ball games... or...

(03) Spending it on prostitutes... or...

(04) Beer... or...

(05) Tattoos.

These are the only American businesses still operating in the United States.

Conclusion

Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.

No need to thank me... I'm just glad I could be of help.

~shoes~