"A Student..."

When I got to work yesterday morning, my division secretary handed me an envelop... it was addressed to me... and she told me that a young lady had come by to see me... 


The young lady had been in several of my classes last semester... I noticed in early November that she had consecutive absences, but really thought nothing of it...


I got an email one morning  last Fall where she said...


I will not be in class today.  I found out that my dad is having open heart surgery and I am just a total wreck.  I am not able to go home to Arizona to be with the family so its really hard.  I have already had a hard time dealing with my depression and now this.  Can you please email me the homework assignment if there is one.  Thank you so much.


I like to think that I am a sensitive person... so I replied to her email by asking her to come and see me as soon as possible... And she did... later that afternoon...


She came to Alluvial Flood Plain State University from Arizona because her sister was here... sister has since graduated and gone back to AZ... so she's basically alone... and then the issues with Dad's open heart surgery and all just overwhelmed her...


She told me that she wanted to go home, but Mom "wouldn't let her"... said that the family just didn't have the money for her to purchase a plane ticket...  and I think the young lady felt she was being an imposition on her family... when all she really wanted was to go home and be with them at this time...  


Given the success rates of by-pass surgery, the fact is that people still die during them... and I think she was fearful she would never see her Dad again...


I asked her to talk to her Mom... and if it was OK for her to come home... that I would buy her a ticket... would take her to Memphis and get her on the plane myself...


I've been depressed... and have wanted to be with loved ones... so I think I felt her anxiety...


The next day, she came to see me... said she had a great talk with Mom and Dad... and that she was OK now... that she wouldn't need to go home after all... so some how she found some peace in the conversation with Mom and Dad.  I think more than anything, there was good communication with the parents and this young lady...


Anyhoo...


Here's what she wrote in the card...


Mr. Shoes... I want to thank you so much for your help.  I really appreciate your listening and talking with me.  You made me feel a lot better about my Dad and the depression.  I don't think you realize how much that meant to me.  It is always nice to have that support that you gave me.  My Dad is doing really well.  He is just a little different than he used to be... I guess it was such a serious incident.


Thanks again!


Bless her heart... I really didn't do anything but care... I really didn't do anything but listen...  We see these 18... 19 yos and think them to be adults... but they are still 'children' with desires and needs to be with parents at such a difficult time....


Studies indicate that when we are in trouble, we really don't need anyone to help us... we need someone to listen... and some of the blogs I read fall into those categories... Hell.. some of the stuff I've written about my divorce and failed relationships fall into those areas...


So... the next time you believe someone needs some help... just stop and listen... ask a few questions... more often than not, they will find their own answers...

~shoes~