We are getting the new academic year off to a start here at Alluvial Flood Plain State University... I'm still establishing the ground rules for this one class. I am not sure if it's going to be a "project-driven" class or a "case-driven" class. Anyway, after class this morning, I asked, "Do you have any questions?"
This young fellow replied... "yes, I do..."
"Why does Doctor X play with his nuts in class?"
To which I promptly responded...
AIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Of course, at that point, the stupid side of me kicked in, and I asked....
"WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"
... and he repeated his question.... "Why does Dr. X play with his nuts in class?"
It reminded me of a "South Park" Episode...
I just stood there stunned... kinda like this...
Well... not exactly like this...
I motioned over to this young lady and reminded the guy that there are ladies in the class room... and I made eye contact with this young lady... and she said, 'but he does!'
Granted... they do shift around... they move throughout the course of the day... maybe not quite so much when one goes commando... but when things need to be shifted, I do it in the privacy of my office... or the rest room... but NOT in CLASS!!!!!
The young fellow said, 'he just leans up against the wall and plays with himself...'
I was just stunned... I guess I would be too self-conscious... too aware... and probably too private of a person to do that in class...
I do recall going to class once with my pants unzipped... I was SO embarassed... it's become part of my routine to do a 'finger check' of the zipper tab before I go to class...
I asked... but what about the rap videos... the hip hop videos... they all claimed it was different... but playing with yer balls is playing with yer balls...
I remember this one fellow that used to work here... you would see him in the hallway talking to coeds... and he would be constantly shifting his junk around...
Hell... when GirlShoes would come to visit with me, he would catch her in the hallway... talk to her... and then she would come to my office and ask me why this fellow would 'adjust himself'...
Equal Opportunity Nuts...
I mean... if a guy is wearing jeans... one is going to see the package... unless...
Ouch!!! However, I've never had dreams about losing my balls...
She seems happy that her husband has big balls...
I wonder if she plays with them...
However, I do think I've had a dream or two about vaginas with teeth... how scary wold THAT be?!?!?!? And what does THAT say about ME!?!?!?!?
Now THAT shiznit is SCARY!!!!!!!
And I wasn't aware it had a formal name?!?!?!
I am also reminded of this "South Park" episode... since I'm in the Nuts/Balls frame of mind...
I guess I am reminded of the time a colleague was writing a formula on the board in his class and farted... I bet I could write a bunch of stuff on THAT one!!!!
~shoes~
I'd say the kid's question would best be answered: Because he can.
ReplyDeleteI think if women were always boldly adjusting their bras, or had their hand up their dress while sitting casually in a class or social situation, most men would be rendered mute.
Did you hear about the 150-pound man who had 75-pound testicles? He was half nuts.
ReplyDelete(my angelic grin goes here)
Out of the mouths of babes, huh? LMAO!!! I think I'm crying from laughing...
Have you googled the whole vagina/tooth scare dream thing?
finger checks... m'kay
;-D My sides hurt... and now I'm craving some nuts of some kind...
;D gobbles
I think it's funny that they expected you to answer this one. Do your kids hate you or something? It sounds to me like they were torturing you... You could have broken into a song and made it college musical day. Sort of like Glee. Or it would be like actually living a musical. In other words answering the absurd with the absurd. There are all kinds of songs to choose from..."That's the way uh uh I like it uh uh I like it uh uh, That's the way uh uh I like it uh uh I like it uh uh." OR "Celebrate good times come on. It's a celebration. There's a party a going on right here..." See what I mean, almost any song would work actually. Even Meatloaf... "I remember every little thing like it happened only yesterday." It is just inane. You could become known as the nutty professor in the funny way, not the touching your privates way... something to think about for future idiotic questions.
ReplyDeletethat's hysterical. i can't believe the students would actually ask you that.
ReplyDeletemy son's STILL screaming for his Woodie.
I'm kinda speechless.
ReplyDeleteWell, except for maybe wondering how much this higher education is costing the parents!
Just sayin... :)
xoxo
~vk~
Nutty post...and where do you find these images?? :D
ReplyDeleteI so want to read the book about the dog that waves bye-bye to his testicles. I'm off to Amazon.com! ;)
WOW. i think i'd still be speechless if someone just up and asked me that in a classroom situation. in all honesty, what kind of home training did that kid NOT have to do something like that? YIKES.
ReplyDeleteSo you didn't give them an answer? Probably asserting his manhood with all the young coed's.
ReplyDeleteMan I should have been a college professor!
I don't think I ever would have had the balls to ask such a question in college.
ReplyDeleteThe older you get, the more often you scratch your balls. It's a fact of life. Abe Vigoda's hands have been down his pants for 50 years now....
ReplyDeleteI really don't have a comment except that this was WTH? and funny.
ReplyDelete-H
I think that this professor is on to something, I mean he definitely has everyone's undivided attention while he is lecturing. Granted everyone is staring at his balls, but who knows, perhaps on the final exam there will be one simple question; "How many times during the year did I adjust my balls?"
ReplyDeleteSquirrels are awesome aren't they?
ReplyDeleteSo there is actually a professor there who is constantly messing with his own nuts? Sounds like he either needs a new pair of underwear or else he needs to see a doctor.
ReplyDeleteI think you should be flattered your students WOULD ask you that....
ReplyDeleteHahaha ! LMFAO !
ReplyDeleteWow, your students are brave ! My boss used to adjust his junk right in front of me while barking orders. He would sometimes shift his package with one hand. Or pull the underwear away so it stopped sticking to his nuts. OR he would shake his hip to the right.
So funny !
@ Charlene... I've had quite a bit of fun going around telling this story... one response was that I should have asked, "And how is it that you think I would know the answer to that?"
ReplyDeleteI dunno... it depends.. a woman adjusting her bra strap or... in the olden days, adjusting their garters would have been received quite differently I suppose...
But if it was a woman kind of like Ms Choksondik from South Park... that could be different...
@ Red.Neck.Chic LMAO @ half nuts... Yes, I DID search the teeth/vagina thing!!!! WOW!!!
Hmmm... what kind of nuts are you craving??
Inquiring minds and all of that, you know...
@ Robin... All in all, I have a great relationship with my students. In more serious times, I have the most tear-jerking conversations with some of these kids. On of them is a young Black man from a single Mom household... he came to see me one afternoon back in the Spring... asking me how I thought he could break that pattern in his family. He said that it goes several generations back without much of a male presence in their families... I was honored that he would choose a White male for this conversation.
I am trying to prepare a host of goofy answers to take back to class on Tuesday however... :oD
@ Jaime... you would be amazed at some of the stuff they ask... in and out of class!!!
Did your son find his Woody?? That problem only gets worse as we males age... we seem to look for them more and more often!!!!
@ Vixen Kitten... I know!! No questions about the Risk Management Process or the Prouty Matrix... but he DOES want to know about Dr. X and his balls!!!!
LMFAO!!!!!!
Of course.. maybe it feels good... and maybe he's a bit of an exhibitionist... he would have a captive audience... no?
@ Ily...I have to admit that I am amazed at some of the photos I find... my first search was for 'nuts,' the second for 'balls,' and the third for 'testicles...'
Did you find the book? The ending sounds painful to me, for some reason... ouch!!!!!
@ Magnolia... I'm not sure if it's lack of home training... or just how people are today. The way these idiots on the reality shows act... Simon Cowell on 'AI'... everyone seems to be overboard... I don't get it.
In that regard, I guess I am very old fashioned... *shrugs*
@ Bathwater... I'm not sure discussing why a colleague plays with his nuts in his class would be a great topic of discussion in MY class!! LOLOL
@ Jessica... I am sure I wouldn't have had either!!!
@ Heff... it's better that Abe Vigoda has had his hands in HIS pants for the last 50 years than if he had had them in YOUR pants!!! Just sayin'!!!
@ Hedone... I know... when I came back to my office after class, I had people asking me... 'Shoes? What's wrong?' And then after I told them, they said they wished I had NOT told them...
@ Amythest... that's a great point!! God, I hope I don't play with MY balls in class... I had better start paying better attention!!!!
@ Linnn... LMFAO!!!! maybe he's storing them away for winter!!!!
@ Memphis Steve... I was begining to wonder if it's a Southern Thang... you know?? Gawd... I hope he wears underwear!!!!!
@ Pat... flattered? LOL I guess it's better to be asked about someone else playing with his nuts, rather than, 'Mr Shoes, why do YOU play with your nuts in class???' Sheessh!!!!
@ Senorita... but... but... but... don't they have any idea how... er... crude that is?!?!? I mean, I DO... I wouldn't do that in front of people.. especially women...
Hmmm....
~shoes~
I like the pictures in this one-too funny. So glad I don't have to deal with balls. Not currently anyway.
ReplyDeleteEver notice when you do a post like this someone comes to check your blog out for the FIRST time and you're left wondering if you look weird?
ReplyDeleteHappens to me all the time! :)
@ JennAdventures... its's amazing the photos one can find using the most insignificant search terms... LOL All in all, balls are fun... just sayin'...
ReplyDelete@ Ubermouth... I am most CERTAIN that I look weird... unless you mean you look weird for having gone to read a post that is titled, "nuts..." I reckon it's possible!!!! Thanks for coming by!!
~shoes~