I went to have dinner and watch the Alabama-Michigan football game Saturday night at one of my favorite places here. Some friends of mine happened to have had the same idea, and our conversations during the process of the game went to... well... very strange places. Specifically, strip clubs.
Mood Music...
Click on image to enlarge...
It seems that stripping has been
reduced to a mathematical formula...
I wondered aloud as to if they were 'replacement' strippers... and then, since we were watching football, offered up the idea that maybe they were B-string strippers...
A little something for everyone...
Josh told me that I was showing my ignorance, because many strippers wore g-strings... not B-strings...
Since Josh is younger than I, it was necessary to tell him that back in the Dark Ages, back up players in sports were called B-Team players..
Anyway... then I started to speculate... what if strippers were unionized?? And went on strike... and replacements were called in...???
Would those replacement strippers be called, 'Scabs??'
B-String Stripper?
C-String Stripper??
Scab???
Well, that quickly grossed us out...
I hope this doesn't encourage some
kind of ~Shoes~ jihad...
Zombie Strippers have something else in
mind when they say they want to eat you...
Please let it be known that the place where I ate dinner and watched football was NOT a strip club, nor did it have any poles for dancing installed...
I recall seeing a story on the news about how strippers from Vegas and other hot-spots of stripping spent last week in Tampa (Republican National Convention) and will spend this week in Charlotte, NC... Democratic National Convention...
Does anyone have any knowledge on this topic...? Of replacement strippers, or First-Class, Second-Class, Third-Class strippers???
Inquiring minds want to know...
~shoes~
Hm. As always, I have an amusing (to me) anecdote. Or two.
ReplyDeleteAbout 20 years ago, Eric was working for a different landscaping company, and most Friday evenings the guys went to the nearest (pardon me, but this is what they called it) 'Titty Bar'.
This was before everyone had a cell phone. So they all waited in line to use the phone designated for personal use and one by one called their wives.
And one by one the guys invented whoppers and lied to their wives. Car broke down, need to change a tire, have to work late, staying extra to do an inventory... I guess the 8 or so of them got pretty creative.
Then Eric would get his turn on the phone. He'd call me.
"Hi Sweetheart, we're gonna go have a few beers at the titty bar, see you in a couple hours."
"Okay, have fun, here's hoping you don't see what you saw that one time, love you."
And none of the guys believed he was actually talking to his wife. Finally one week he handed the telephone to the next guy in line and said, "Here, talk to her."
And he found out there was an actual wife on the other end of the line.
Good times.
Now that I've left a novel in your comment section, I'll leave you in suspense as to what he saw one time at the local titty bar.. where I am sure the strippers were at least C-string.
Oh, Crap!!!
DeleteAmi, you can NOT do this to us!!
You have to tell us what he saw!!!
The fact that you are invoking at least a 'C-String' stripper CAN'T be good!!!!
Augh!!
~shoes~
Well...okay.
DeleteFirst, it was one of those bars where the strippers do more than dance... they can do tricks, too.
This particular girl's trick was to lie down on the stage so one could stare up the, er, tunnel of love, and then with that tunnel, blow OUT an entire book of matches. No, I am not making this up.
And this cracked my husband up.
Then, the next dancer did a dance, and during the course of the dance, bent over and spread to show the rear view. And there was a piece of toilet paper stuck to her butthole.
He got a lot of laughs out of that one, too.
Is that wrong?
No I think you got it right on the B-string,C-string but how would I know since I'm not into bars like that.
ReplyDeleteI think they forgot to add something in that mathematical formula on how to be a successful stripper. Sure all it takes is one women and what ever in between and they take their clothes off. But they need to add one horny man to the end.
The only problem with G-strings is the women that wear them DON"T have a nice ass.
I thought even today they still call back up football players B team- players. At least that's what I remember from High School. OH Wait! that was back in the dark ages!! Crap!
Hi, Liz... they don't call them that down here any more... (B-String players) Once upon a time, we used to have 'B-Team Games'... scrimmages for those players who didn't get to play much or never played at all... all in all, a good idea, I think...
Delete~shoes~
The Movie Zombie Strippers is a classic... But in all seriousness, I never met a little girl whose dream was to dance topless for some sweaty man...
ReplyDeleteAna... you can imagine how shocked I may have been once when visiting my daughter in NOLA to find plexi-glass stilettos, an assortment of wigs, and some strip-club comp cards... I didn't know any other way to interpret that...
DeleteBlah!!!!
~shoes~
Mmm---
ReplyDeleteWhat a tantilizing blog!!!
Joe Cocker--I can't remember the movie that video was from but I saw the movie years ago.
Mmm--women we sure have the upper hand.
U showcase ur "meow" and the man in ur life will follow u anywhere.
I have a few stripper friends. They r fabulous women. U cannot judge a book by the cover. If u do, then miss out on some interesting stories.
Teddy Bear Cop (the man in my life right now) and his partner sneaked up in me dancing with the broom at Coffeehouse Friday night. Yes we entertain our customers and ourselves. They were laughing their heads off at me. But we have fun that all that matters.
"Life is Good"!!!!
Take care Professor Red Shoes
Hi, Stormy... that music clip is from '9 1/2 Weeks' with Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke... that was SOME movie.
DeleteI wonder how many dances in strip clubs were performed to that song?? I bet a TON of them!
I bet those gals that work in those clubs do have some interesting stories to tell!
~shoes~
LMBO!!!!!!!!! Are you SURE you weren't at a club eating dinner and watching... uh uhmm... football? LOL
ReplyDeleteG-strings... yer gonna have a wedgie by mid-morning... why not just start out with one?
there's the day-shift, the night-shift and the week-enders... i'll leave you to figure out which string is the b-string...
Robelyn... I would guess the day-shift to possibly be the b-string, but it's been so long since I've been in one, I don't know...
DeleteMy son, Ace, visited one in Memphis a few months ago in the afternoon, and left very satisfied/happy...
Of course, I have no idea as to what standards he has for himself...
~shoes~
Clubs will try calling girls in to work when they get a low turn out of girls, or a low turnout of good looking girls. They with offer them incentives like no tip out or low tip outs.
ReplyDeleteBath... who makes the decision that there is a low turnout of good looking girls?
DeleteI guess it makes sense that strip clubs would have some kind of Quality Control program in place...
~shoes~
Ha! Well, at least you weren't at a strip club for dinner...or didn't meet up (meat up?) with a zombie stripper at dinner. I don't get how some of these clubs have signs out front "unlimited wings" or other food items advertised...it's just not right. lol
ReplyDeleteHi there, Scarlet... and I most definitely did NOT meat up with a zombie stripper... that would not have had a good outcome (no pun intended) I don't think.
DeleteI guess it's better to advertise 'wings' rather than 'breasts!'
~shoes~
All I know is my house used to be a strip joint. I found out a couple of years ago talking to a neighbor. She said it used to be a red zone, too. WTF? No wonder it was a bargain...
ReplyDeleteHow's life, Shoes?
RCB!!!
DeleteI wonder if it's been long enough ago for there to be ghosts of strippers living in your house?
How cool would that be to receive a lap dance from a poltergeist??
Life's good, RCB... what about with you?
The semester is back in swing... trying to get the students set where they need to be... stuff like that.
Are you all back in session??
~shoes~
Hi there, Shoes. I'm all back in session. Don't ask me how, though. I keep losing my voice because of my annoying sarcoidosis, but hey I can still kick some ass. Speaking of which... that's a perfect ass, alright. No, not the zombie picture.
ReplyDeleteA lap dance from a poltergeist? Well, if that poltergeist looks like Marilyn Monroe, you won't hear me complaining. Do you remember that scene from Ghostbusters 1 where Dan Akroyd's lying in his bed and is visited by a ghost that felt thirsty? Cool is not the word I had in mind, Shoes! ;)