Droids You Are Looking For...
or...
Surprise Surprise Suprise II
Well...
It's been almost a month since I last posted... and I posted about the "Surprise Surprise Surprise..." that fell into my lap.
I told you that I was approached by someone who asked about whether or not I knew that my oldest sister, the one who died about a year and a half ago, was actually the mother of one of the three children of the 'second litter.'
If you are not familiar with the concept of the 'second litter,' my Mom (I think she's my Mom...) and Dad (I think he's my Dad...) had one set of kids (three)... took a break, and then had another set of kids (three)...
Future telling of this story allowed me the artistic rights to turn the 'sets' into 'litters'...
A Mother Song...
The above tale, as I gave it to you... happened at work. It was someone I have known most of my Life... and has known my family. The story, as he presented it, makes the oldest of the second litter the 'child of honor'...
This isn't the first time I have heard such a story... There was someone years ago who asked me about such a situation, but that time, the person who brought up the topic was known for creating all kinds of stories... most, with out merit.
In her line of questioning, though, it's the youngest of the second litter... he was born just about the time that this sister was getting married... so I think that discounts this version of the tale...
Another Momma Song...
So... I got to thinking... who would know? Someone HAS to know... and then I remembered... there IS someone who might know something!!!
So I went to go see this guy...
I had somewhat rehearsed my lines... how I was going to start the conversation... and I pop the question... he stops... he looks up... thinks... and starts out with the story...
He has time frames.. he has names... he spills the beans...
Everything...
It's coming so fast... so furious... I'm almost taken aback...
and he says...
"here's when it happened...
I'm not saying who it is...
... but count back...
and you will know."
Wow...
WOW...
WOW...
WOW...
Now... here's the kicker...
The time frame that he supplies...
the events... the time line...
the baby is me.
He tells me the Father's name...
and I am thinking...
I can remember that...
and write it down later...
Right?
Right...
I couldn't remember... I was so taken aback by everything that was coming so fast... and focusing on that information... that I didn't commit that to memory.
So a few days later, I go to see this fellow again... and ask for the name... and he looks off... and says... "that's been so long ago... I can't remember names or details... let me think about it and I will get back to you..."
Yeah...
Right...
I'm thinking... ok.. what's happened??? He was so forth coming with everything... and now he's playing dumb...
This individual called me a few days later to tell me that everything he initially told me was wrong (bullshit)... and that he was talking out of his head (bullshit)... and that I needed to see the original person that started all of this and tell him to mind his business...
He did let it slip that he had talked to another family member since we talked... and evidently he was told to shut up... and to stay out of it. There is something that the older ones don't want the younger ones to know...
The older ones... first litter survivors... know the truth...
So I have my work cut out for me...
I want to know...
I need to know...
There are some people with whom I have shared this story...
and some of their thoughts are... 'why does it matter?'
Well... it just does...
I'm sure all families have their secrets...
At times, I think I have done an ok job of keeping things
together, considering all of the other things happening
in the under currents.
Things are going to be ok...
I am going to be ok...
Afterall...
How does that one song go??
When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
I know...
another Mother song...
~shoes~
Wow, wow, wow. So close yet still so far. I hope you can find the answers you're looking for. You know where to find me :-)
ReplyDeleteHi there, Barbara... yes...
DeleteIt really is disconcerting. This has had quite an effect on me. Some people can't understand why it bothers me so... but we are all different. There are things that bother them... that I guess I don't/can't understand.
It will all be ok though...
~shoes~
Have you considered going back to that guy and saying that you KNOW he was telling the truth the first time. Your parents (grandparents) have passed. Your sister (mother) has passed. Ergo, the only person this hurts and helps is YOU. By finding out the name of the Father, you will have a complete health history, which could SAVE YOUR LIFE. That is information a person needs. Maybe if you appeal to him on that level he will be forthcoming. Suggestion: record this conversation. You're not going to remember.
ReplyDeleteI agree w/u... maybe he should bring a witness? couldn't hurt... also if he states all what u have posted, maybe guilt will get to the dude..
DeleteHi there, Robin. Yes, I am going to go back to him. He has been a family friend for a long time... and I don't want to lose that friendship. But I will see him soon... I am hoping that he will share that with me again.
DeleteI am so angry with myself that I could not remember two words... one name...
~shoes~
I agree w/you. IT does MATTER...what a migraine u must have over this.. I know I would have one hell of one.
ReplyDeleteGood morning, Chris...
DeleteIt is just another nail in the death of this family... whatever it was that 'Mom' and 'Dad' had... at the visitation for this sister, the oldest three ignored my brother and I... as well as our children. The only real contact I had with any of them was when that one told me how he hated me...
Maybe the only real thing about this bunch is that 'Mom' and 'Dad' were real... and that my brother is real.
I had someone recently ask about this family... I told this person I had one brother... and that 'Mom' and 'Dad' had other children.
~shoes~
That's crazy! Hope you get some answers.
ReplyDeleteGood morning Sherry... they will come.
DeleteThank you...
~shoes~
Of course it matters.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it will come back to you.
You know, your mind doesn't just lose things. Maybe at a moment, when you least expect it, his name will pop back into your head.
stephanie
Yes, it definitely matters. You do have the right to know.
ReplyDeleteCan you do some investigation work with public records where you were born?
I'm so intrigued, Shoes! What you need is top notch, British investigator to get amongst this lot and find out what's cracking off. I'm free a week on Tuesday.
ReplyDeletePS: Of course it bloody matters. :)
Well the cat is out of the bag so why would u stop now. I would have to know for my own peace of mind. U will always love whom u thought was ur biological dad and mom. That will never change. And I think it will be good to have something to occupy your mind for awhile anyway. And u are into ur family history so this is part of ur family history. I have had my own little family emergencies this last week. I won't bore u with the details one it would take to long but bottomline was that my brother was gonna kills himself, I chased him for three days, we went to court, he had no lawyer, need I say what a bad move that is, the other lawyer gave it to him, 30k cash only bond what does it all boil down to divorce and child custody. In the end the judge asked me to speak cuz my brother was falling apart. I only had recent knowledge (3 months ago) of what the fuck had been really going on. Her lawyer looked at me and said u should have been his lawyer all this time. We worked out something where my brother did not have to jail. And I moved. All this shit happened in one week. Four days of chasing my brother before he killed himself. Court Thursday. Pack Friday and Move Saturday. Oh yeah this was suppose to be short. But u should know by now my shit is never short. Best of luck to u Red Shoes. If u are ever in Memphis, drop by the Coffeeshop Monday and Wednesday. I know more than likely u will never do it. But the invitation is still there. Take care.
ReplyDeleteYes, I believe all family's have secrets and I think we deserve to know them if we want to. Best of luck.
ReplyDeleteElsie
Shoesies, can you hire a private investigatoror geneologist or someone for this sort of thing ? If I were in your shoes, I would probably become an alcoholic. What do you do with information like that only to have the person hold out on you ?
ReplyDeleteThings will be okay and you will keep yourself together.
ReplyDeleteI trust you get all the answers that you are searching for.
You can't tell half the truth and then zip it!! This must be so frustrating for you. I'm sure time will reveal more. Keep pushing, my friend. You deserve to know.
ReplyDeleteHi there, Ileana... he told the entire truth... and then a family member told him to be quite... there is something that they don't want us to know.
DeleteI have never felt more disconnected from a bunch of people in my entire life... and to think that I once considered them to be family members...
~shoes~
JESUS..... that is one hell of a story. I had to read it twice and pour a drink.
ReplyDeletethats such a tease... so not right. you have a right to know. I would NOT be able to let it go.
I have no connection to my family either... hell.
I had the read it twice too and it still hasn't registered... It matters, Shoes, simply because you think it matters.
ReplyDeleteP.S. You are somewhere in HERE. That much I do know. Somewhere.... Smile.
Delete