"It Was The Worst Of Times..."
'The Scream'
Edvard Munch
1893
Or...
"What doesn't kill us just makes us stronger..."
I'm sure that there are shit loads of other comments designed to lessen the pain... the hurt... the angst... of whatever it is that is bothering us at any point in time..
'Inner Strength'
Down through the years, I have written about the times that I have felt my position at Alluvial Flood Plain State University was in peril... always seemed to be something that was amiss around here, that left me thinking that I was going out with the next load of trash...
... and I haven't felt well... for quite a while...
Last week, on Tuesday... I was told by my division chair that I needed to be free for a meeting the next day... I asked with whom... and I was told it would include the dean, the provost, and him.
... anyway...
I arrive at the meeting... they are smiling... shaking hands with me...
It's good to see you... why aren't you wearing your red shoes today???
I told that sawed off bastard him that I didn't expect this meeting to be good news for me... that I didn't think I was going to like the outcome.
They proceeded to tell me...
...that I am no longer needed. As is par for a university setting, I will receive a terminal contract for one more year... and after that year, I am gone.
but...
... the way I feel at this time, I imagine this is my last year.
I will let them do... decide what to do with the remaining students in the program.
There was...
... the way I feel at this time, I imagine this is my last year.
I will let them do... decide what to do with the remaining students in the program.
There was...
No 'thank you for twenty-six years of service to the university...'
No 'we are sorry this is happening to you...'
Over the past six years, I have received the College of Business Outstanding Professor Award twice, and the University Outstanding Professor Award.
... and then this.
My feelings are hurt because of the manner in which this was handled. I would never do someone like this.
My greatest fear is that I would be told that I was losing my job that morning... and that later that afternoon, my doctor would tell me that I was dying...
I have a medical issue that is going to require some attention... and in itself may require that I come back for that one remaining year just for insurance.
I have a medical issue that is going to require some attention... and in itself may require that I come back for that one remaining year just for insurance.
I will know more on this topic soon...
Blah.....
~shoes~
I think your higher ups as well as higher ups in general do not know how to handle the issue of 'giving the boot' as they say.. A friend of mine told me that companies start sizing up their employees as they enter their latter 50's-60's.... my BIL was giving his walking papers a few years ago... another teacher friend was given a 'very nice early retirement package' as well... A friend who worked for the bank was given the proverbial gold watch... Just remember this, they will get their turn as well...
ReplyDeleteHadn't heard from you in a while and was hoping things were going well. It's sucky the way they informed you of this. So sorry.
ReplyDeleteHi Stephen... I was actually telling someone about your blog the other day... about all of the great places you get to go... the things you do. They were equally impressed!
DeleteThings are going to be ok... as I stated earlier, I am more concerned about this health issue... but I think it will be resolved.
As for the work thing, I am in control... there are going to be things they are going to need from me before I leave there... and I fear will not be so nice about it.
Thank you for your kind words!!
~shoes~
Hi, Chris... one of the things that has amazed me down through the years is the amount of money that is wasted at this place... I keep thinking about running things from a business standpoint, but I forget that this is a governmental institution, and by definition, they are not run efficienty.
ReplyDeleteYes... after this many years, it would have been nice for it to have been handled a bit differently...
Having said that, I wouldn't want to be any of them... and to be quite honest, I am not well right now. This may all work out for the best.
As always, thank you for your kind comments...
~shoes~
I'm so sorry. That's a miserable way to do it. I hope better things are on the horizon.
ReplyDeleteHi there, Max... it was a Horrible way for them to handle this!!!
DeleteBASTARDS!!!!
,,, but I will have the last laugh on them... there will be something they will want me to do... they will ask me to do... and then it's going to be...
FUCK OFF!!!!!
How's that mandolin coming along??
~shoes~
Well, Shoes, I am sorry to hear both pieces of news. But you might be in a position to bargain for an extra year or two of health insurance, at the very least. Where I worked, nearly everybody who was fired or whose job was eliminated managed to get some kind of Lovely Parting Gift. Promise you'll think about it.
DeleteHi there, Blissed...
DeleteI don't think that there will be any 'Lovely Parting ' gifts from this institution... but obviously the insurance will be important.
I know that you and I have talked about retirement... and I have been aware that I was getting close to the time where I would be leaving, but I think we always like for it to be on our terms.
I am trying to not let this and the way they handled it skew my feelings and emotions about the school (but it has)...
~shoes~
Ah, shoes! I'm so sorry. It's so shitty that some humans treat others so shabbily. While they may not appreciate what you've accomplished over the years, I'm damn sure the majority of your students did. Those are the people that matter most.
ReplyDeletePut the hurt in a special compartment that you can deal with later. You're job now is to heal and get better from what's ailing you. Once you're back to where you want to be you can go and inculcate the crap out of some needy students in another college!
Hi there, Nitebyrd...
DeleteRe: the students... yes, they have always been important to me.
If I desire to continue to teach, there are two universities that have expressed interest already. Having said that, I need to concentrate on my health first and foremost.
Things are going to be ok... I've been through far worse events in Life than this.
~shoes~
What?! After 26 years of dedicated service?! That's not right at all! Very heartless they went about it. I hold a special place in my heart for all educators because my sister is one. It's not an easy job, lots of patience, hard work & love is required. I hope they are planning to do something special for you during your last year.
ReplyDeleteIn regards to the comment you posted at 6:20, 'This may all work out for the best.'
Perhaps you may find it was a blessing in disguise...
And as for you health--- sending nothing but good vibes your way.
Hi, Princess... I think at various times in Life, we do become very expendable...
DeleteYou have mentioned your sister quite often. I guess teaching is something we are 'called' to do... or we are just drawn to it.
Teaching isn't something one does to become rich. I missed that boat.
My health will be the primary factor as to how I handle things in the next seven months... Needless to say, I will make the decision that is in my best interests... not that of the institution.
As always, thank you for your kind words...
~shoes~
It aggravates me how administrators are clueless and spineless most of the time. I hate that this came about this way.. but I have a feeling with your experience and all those accolades, it won't be hard for you to find another position..
ReplyDeleteI always say.. When a door closes.. God opens a window.
I will be praying for your health and your job!
~Jen
Hey you...
DeleteAdministrators... idiots... (well, not all of them...)
I am going to be fine... I've already had a conversation with another school... that initiated the conversation... I will land on my feet...
The health issue causes great concern... but, I will be ok there as well...
Thank you for your prayers and positive thoughts!!!
~shoes~
Red, as long as u stay in control, u will beat it!. I truly believe that. Don't give up/in.... that's when it will strike back.
ReplyDeleteHi, Chris...
DeleteI will stay in control... You are right about the 'not giving in'... or 'giving up!'
I am going to be ok with whatever transpires... and in control... :o)
~shoes~
I'm sorry you're going through all this!
ReplyDeleteIt's a shame employers seem to have no empathy for employees who have served them well. It's like you're a number or some kind of commodity that can be replaced.
I'll keep you in my prayers - both for your work, and the health issue you are facing.
Hi there, Sherry... thank you. As some time has passed, I am feeling somewhat better about things. As the word is getting around campus, students are commenting... I have received several really nice comments from some former students here lately.
DeleteIt's nice to know that I have students that feel I have made a difference. What is equally heart-warming has been the number of colleagues that have come by to visit... and have said really nice things to me.
Thank you for keeping me in your prayers. The other day in class... when I was getting everything set up and ready to go, I found a note that a student must have left for me. It said...
"I'm praying for you, sir"
I can't even begin to tell you how touching that comment/note was...
Regardless of what happens, I am blessed.
~shoes~
I know a place in NC that would LOVE you... And will probably be expanding in about a year.
ReplyDeleteYou are too good to be treated like that. Best wishes for your improves health.
<3,
Kim
Hi there, Ms Kim! Just out of curiousity, where in NC?
DeleteI don't know that I am a good teacher, but my students and colleagues tell me that I am. I have always had great difficulty in talking up myself... I'm not much of a braggart or a chest beater... you know?
Thank you for your kind words and your best wishes. Please help me remember... did you finish your degree??
~shoes~
Dirty rotten bastards!!! I could wring their necks. Ungrateful pieces of shit! And I'm sure their backs ache from sitting on their fat wallets. Grrrr. I'm so sorry Shoes. Sucks big time. But I have to hope that when one door shuts, another one is more enticing than the last. Praying for your health and peace of mind. *huggles*
ReplyDeleteHi there, Annie!!
DeleteDirty rotten bastards is RIGHT!!!!!
Those doors you mention, Annie, are already starting to open... some great things have started to fall into place already.
The most important thing right now is getting on top of this health mess...
I am still upset... angry... about the manner in which it was handled...
But that too shall pass...
Much love to you, Annie...
~shoes~
I'm really sorry to hear that. Any way you can get a gig with the state Higher Education Policy Board/Commission or the Regional Accrediting agency and then go back and audit the crap out of 'em!
ReplyDeleteHi there, Ryan... thank you, my friend. HAH @ auditing the Hell out of them... ppphhhhffftttt... it's not worth it...
DeleteI've survived the worst thing that has ever happened to me... and that was the death of my Mother... everything else pales in contrast.
There have been times that losing my job would have been a nightmare... this time, other than the manner in which it was handled, is a great inconvenience...
I figure this will give me more time to visit Civil War battlefields...
Thank you so much for your caring thoughts, Ryan...
~shoes~
Shoes, I have been just generally worried about you for a while now. Even though I know via FB that you are okay (mostly), I still have felt this generalized sense of concern. I am going to email you later. If you feel like talking about this, my inbox is always open!!!
ReplyDeleteHi there, Robin... I've honestly not felt well since some time in August...
DeleteI will email you and tell you what's up...
As far as work goes, I fear I have tried too hard to be too good... if that makes any sense. To me, one of the great measures of how good a professor is... is the feedback from my colleagues... I seem to be liked and respected... that means so much to me.
Thank you so much for your concern... I will write soon... :o)
~shoes~
Shoes my sweet. Fuck 'em. They are losing a LEGEND. I know that from right over here! At the end of the day everything changes; that is the one constant in life. You have a year to decide where you go from that point and I have no doubt you will make it count and be remarkable. Worry not about the lack of thanks shown to you by the paper pushing pansies, but remember all the young people you have inspired and helped in those last 26 years for they are the people that count.
ReplyDeleteI hope your medical condition will be sorted and beg (I don't often beg) that you look after yourself. Sending massive hugs ((((( ))))) xx
Jules!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DeleteFuck 'em? You bet...
I have been blessed by having had these students over those years... they have kept me young at heart... free spirited...
I've had the best job in the world... I've been fortunate... as I have said before, when we leave or go out, we like to go out on our terms... not that feeling of being forced out...
However I handle this, I want to handle it with great dignity and honour.. I will do so...
Thank you so much for your friendship...
Have you been photographing any more doors I LOVE your door photos!!!!
:o)
Always...
~shoes~
I know you will handle it with great dignity and honour (You put a U in honour, Mr Americano!! Oh, you do impress me)
DeleteThings always turn out ok for coll people so worry thee not!
Just bought a new camera so doors a coming! :)
COOl people...not coll...which stands for collectively cool like what us bloggers are, innit. :)
DeleteGood morning, dear Jules...
DeleteYes, I do play around the the American version of the English language... like adding a 'u' to 'colour'... 'humour'... 'honour' and such...
Afterall, a significant chunk of my Family came from Great Britain some years ago.
Tell me about your new camera... and what lens in that you have on your camera in your profile pic...
I'm about to have a ton of free time on my hands... and I need to play more with my camera... :o)
Have a wonderful weekend, dear...
~shoes~
Aw shoes.. So sorry to hear this. I've been wondering how you are. I know you've survived cuts before. I feel like staging a protest!! But please just take care of you. And as always if there's anything I can do.just name it. ((Hugs))
ReplyDeleteHey you!! How are you tonight?? :o)
DeleteI'm going to be ok, dear... I have several opportunities that are presenting themselves already... regardless of which decision I make, I am going to be just fine!
How has everything been for you, dear?
~shoes~
Did you tell them to go f*ck themselves??? Aww, my sweets, I'm sorry this happened to you. Something similar happened to me in August, not 26 years worth, but still hurt just the same. I know something better for you is around the corner. As for your medical condition, whatever it is, I will pray for healing for you. Chin up! Hugs to you!
ReplyDeleteHi there, Miss Yvonne... No, I didn't... I got out of that meeting in a hurry because I knew nothing I said was going to help me...
DeleteAt this time, my health situation is much more important that this position... I think I commented earlier... that there have been times when this kind of situation arose... that the loss of the job would be great upsetting...
At this time, it's just going to cause me to think about what's next... I'm going to be fine, dear...
How are YOU???
~shoes~