... who can I turn to???
AMC (American Movie Channel) has
'Jenny, I've got your number...'
Surely, you've seen this movie...
I think it's better on the big screen...
'Jenny'
He is always waiting for her to return... to come home to him... it seems that everytime that she returns, Forrest hopes that it is for good... he asks her to marry him at least once... but he always wants her to stay... and she always wants one more adventure.
I wonder if, when she crawls in bed with Forrest that one time, that she is hoping to get pregnant by Forrest... that she wants to have his baby? If so, she is a real mess, because she only seems to want to tell Forrest that the baby is his when it seems she is terminally ill... and can't be cured. Do you think that she would have told Forrest about 'Little Forrest' had she not become ill?
She returns one more time to Greenbow, Alabama... and this time, she asks Forrest to marry her... of course, Forrest does... because that is what he has always wanted.
It's not known, really... for how long he has Jenny... she dies... so, seemingly, she is back in his Life for a short time... and is gone.
Anyway...
I digress...
Here is my question for you...
Have you ever had a 'Jenny' in your Life?
Someone you loved that maybe didn't love you in return? Or maybe you loved more than he or she loved you??
Someone, that when he/she went away... and then would come back, you were happy and hoped that person would now stay for good???
Well????
Have you?????
How did you handle it??????
~forrest~
I think it would be fair for me to answer the question that I have posed to you... from my standpoint...
ReplyDeleteHave you ever had a 'Jenny' in your Life?
My question would be, 'Have I ever been a Jenny in someone's Life?
Most definitely... I think the mess that was my divorce skewed/distorted/fukt up my idea of what a relationship is supposed to be... I'm sure I have contributed greatly to any relationship trainwreck that I have experienced...
I do believe that my fear of not wanting to be hurt again has translated into my having hurt others...
Carry on...
~shoes~
Great post. Loved the movie every time I watched it (many times). I'd handle like choosing a candy from a box of chocolates. If not compatible with one, I'd bite into another. :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad Robin sent me your way.
Deb@ http://debioneille.blogspot.com
Hey you... I am so thankful and grateful for Robin having done this...
DeleteI think I like your approach of just biting into another... hahaha...
Thank you again for stopping by...
~shoes~
I think I have been a Jenny in someone's life back in the days before I was sober. Now in sobriety, I have the clarity to let go of those who have the ability to be a Jenny. (Hope that makes sense. I'm typing with a migraine =) )
ReplyDeletePopping over from Robin's too. So glad I did. I've been meaning to visit for a long time. I see you on Blue's blog all the time.
Elsie
AJ's wHooligan in the A-Z Challenge
So how come it took you so long?
DeleteYes, Elsie... what Grumpster said... :oD
DeleteI don't understand Love any more... it seems the more I try to understand it, the more confused I become...
I have had a Jenny in my Life... and it took me a long while to get over her...
Grumpster's place IS the place where one should spend time!!!
~shoes~
I think it takes me a long time to visit people because of the core subject of my blog. Silly, I know. One shouldn't have to do with the other but, somehow in my head it still does.
DeleteSo, today, I went to the doctor and his cell rang. Guess what song? Yep - 867-5309 (yes, I had to sing it to type it!). I thought of your blog and laughed.
Thanks for visiting all over my blog. That was sweet. I'm still catching up with the A-Z after being gone this morning but I didn't want you to think I didn't appreciate your comments. Especially about the journal…
Take care!!
Good morning, Elsie...
DeleteI've had great trouble keeping up with blogs and blogging lately... this year has been difficult... my sister died back in October... my best friend at work just recently died... I'm stressed out and burned out at work... and I just recently managed to hurt my back... I can be such a dumb~ass...
Anyway, I will eventually catch up...
Take care of yourself...
~shoes~
That list is way too long. It makes you wonder, "Why?" But you're a very strong guy and not a dumb-ass in my book... You'll survive.... eventually. Do watch that back, Shoes.
DeleteHi shoes,
DeletePlease don't worry about keeping up with my blog. I don't work that way. I believe in supporting one another as individuals, not as a bunch of numbers on a page. When you're ready to visit my blog again, when you have more time, I'll still be there. Not to mention, I normally only blog once or twice a week. This A-Z Challenge is crazy!!
I'm so sorry you've been through so much with the loss of your sister, your friend and now your back injury. Life tends to throw us a bunch at once but I believe we are never given more than we can handle. I also believe if we are led to it, we are led through it, so hang in there, my new friend!!
Be well!!
Elsie
Yep... I not unfamiliar with the personal Jenny, Shoes. She was the most interesting woman I've ever met and when I told her I loved her (which I rarely do without choking), she nearly fell of her chair. She was my Jenny for six years on and off and when she left me forever, I asked myself one question: what do I know about her? I'm still baffled by the answer: nothing. She was so captivating I couldn't care about anything else in the world. It's a strange thing to happen to you, I tell ya, Shoes. It never happened again. Maybe it's better that way. How I handled it? I cried for a year and when I realized she was gone forever, I turned a deeper shade of blue and dream about her every now and then. Still do. Don't know why.
ReplyDeleteHi there, Grumpster... I think we fall for... fall in love with what we think MAY have been...
DeleteI can't answer it... I can't explain it... much like you... It's almost like knowing she would be the worst thing to ever happen to you, yet one is willing to sign up for it!
I hope you are well, my friend...
~shoes~
I'm doing pretty okay. Some problems with my eye-sight but nothing I can't handle. Yes, sometimes you just need to sign up for it. I know I did.
DeleteI don't know how to respond to this one... I think I've been on both sides of this "Jenny" thing, but never to the extent that Forrest took it. I've liked boys/young men/older men more than they have liked me (in other words, I would have liked a "relationship" while they preferred a "friendship") and vice versa. It is difficult no matter what side of this you are on. I don't think that there was ever dishonesty from anyone about how it was. Meaning... I don't think I ever led anyone to believe the friendship was moving into something it wasn't and I don't feel misled, either.
ReplyDeleteIt has been so long since I've seen that movie. I can't recall if Forrest felt misled or that he always just accepted Jenny where she was... and was okay with it. Would it have been kinder if she had cut all ties with him so that he MIGHT move on? Maybe.
I am not sure how I would handle it if I felt like I'd been EXTREMELY CLEAR with someone that we were Just Friends Period, but they told me they loved me, asked for marriage, etc. I think I would be inclined to cut the whole thing off because the person just wasn't getting it. And if that results in hurt feelings... well, there isn't any getting around it because the essence of the problem is that you just don't feel what that other person feels. Hurt feelings are inevitable.
The difference between Forrest and myself is that I wouldn't want to be the place someone came to when they were high and dry, out of options, or just needing a break. I don't want to be someone's break. Or as The Band Perry sings in Done, "I don't want to be your Just For Fun." And I wouldn't want to marry someone because they were out of better choices and they were terminally ill. In other words, I think I deserve more than that. And so do YOU.... even though you didn't ask.
Your last paragraph I agree w/completely.. As far as Forest, I think he would of accepted if Jenny turned him down.. He may have been confused about it but in his own way would of accepted her decision.. His thinking was basic/simple... He accepted whatever his Mama told him- she always gave him logical reasons and I hope Jenny would have too... Then again, she may not have known how to turn him down..a lot of people have a hard time being truly honest not only to others but to themselves... mostly because they are afraid of the hurt they may cause... Gump was a smart and strong person even tho his character may not have shown it.
DeleteHi there, Robin... as I stated above, I've managed to hurt my back... I have to warn you ahead of time... getting old is NOT for the weak!!
DeleteI am trying to catch up enough on blogs so that I will only be greatly behind.
I don't think Forrest had the wherewithal to feel rejected... much of what happened to him, he seemed to accept at face value.
Love/Relationships can be such train wrecks...
Love is like driving an automobile in India... one never knows what the fuck the other person is going to do...
~shoes~
Angie agrees with the India analogy. You never know. That's why she married me. I should've stopped her.
DeleteDo u really think that--that u should have stopped her?
DeleteIf so, I wonder why. I feel sometimes as though u feel ur medical issues r a burden. No. I assure u when a woman loves a man even though he has hurdles and trials she joyfully sticks by his side. And does it without regret. U made me just a little bit more aware of ur love for Angie when u blogged about what u did to help her start a business. I thought it extremely thoughtful and loving. I know I know up at 3 in the morning. Migraine again. Throws ones sleep out of whack because of migraine med has one sleeping crazy hours. The Professor loves it cuz he gets to walk at crazy hours 1 and 3 this morning. Now he is snoozing while I try to go back to sleep. Church and then movie with friends in the evening.
@Miss Stormy Marples - Yes, I mean it.... when I manage to look beyond my own needs. I know she'll stick by her man.
DeleteI can relate to this: 'Someone you loved that maybe didn't love you in return? Or maybe you loved more than he or she loved you?? '.... The person I was last involved with had told me : "Love just isn't enough'... We had a long distance relationship for 5 yrs. We both were very attached to the state we lived in, I know for me, leaving my kids would of been hard... my kids and I were and still are very close, but the man I was involved with agreed that we could live periodically in each of our places- meaning the airlines would of loved our presence... Things got rocky for him and as u know he thought I could solve his financial issues.. there were times I told him that he had to put his big boy pants on.. He was perfectly able just not willing... so we drifted apart.. When he said 'love isn;t enough' that really hurt... Or maybe I was just too trusting? Money has never been a #1 factor for me... Having it solves financial issues but it I never let it define me... I guess love wasn't important enough for him... I guess he was too much of an azzhat...
ReplyDeleteI figured out that his capacity for love had no depth.. I fault that on how he was raised... Some people just aren't cut out to be parents... Procreation does not make a parent... His parents' values passed down to him and his sister... His dad was an alcoholic and we all know alcoholics are addicted to instant gratification... I see it now.. He definitely inherited that trait.
DeleteChris... this is amazing... what all you have written... I sat here and read what you have written and shook my head like a bobble-head doll...
DeleteThe comment that guy gave you... 'Love isn't enough'... I agree... wtf?!?!?!
Maybe this is why the two mules and the mountain out West appeal so to me...
~shoes~
I'm a Jenny. A sorry-ass Jenny.
ReplyDeleteGood morning, Steven...
DeleteI have great difficulty in believing this...
How are things going for you??
~shoes~
Good post, Shoes. Thought provoking.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sandra...
DeleteHow are you today??
~shoes~
No Jennies in my life. I married too young for a Jenny to come around, and that's fine by me. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm visiting today from Robin's (Daily Dose). The article she featured of yours was very powerful, and sad.
Hey you... thank you for coming by from Robin's... she is such a sweet heart...
Delete~shoes~
*sigh*... touching.. brought a tear to my eye so I guess my answer would be yes.
ReplyDelete*huggles*
DeleteI'm sorry, dear...
~shoes~
No. I can honestly say I haven't. Yet. Why? Because I'm frightened of that. I'd rather be the Jenny - but without the manipulation and using. Just the free spirited adventurer!
ReplyDeleteI think being the 'free spirited adventurer' would be just right for you, Jules... :o)
Delete~shoes~
Just call me Ruby Tuesday, baby ;P
DeleteI have been a Jenny.
ReplyDeleteLuckily I came to my senses.
Honestly it seems to me that Forests are happier than Jennies. They may be alone, but at least they know what they want and what they stand for.
Seems to me that Jennies are always looking for something, but rarely finding...
stephanie
I agree totally with u thoughts. The Forests r definitely more content with life. Jenny always searching never satisfied. I would prefer to be a Forest. I think I will go buy myself a box of chocolates. I buy myself roses all the time and carry them to work and put in jelly jar. I am known for that and my teddy bear that is always in my bag. Most always say someone really must love u u have roses all the time. I said I sure do love myself I buy myself roses all the time. One must treat urself right. I do believe I need a box of truffles. My most favorite chocolates. And I will think of sweet and simple life loving Forest.
DeleteI talked to a friend today... We were... you know... commiserating... as women will do... about the men in our lives. She said, "And this was Plan A!!"
ReplyDeleteI thought about that. I'm not with Plan A or B.
I was a Jenny for Plan A. Then he found "Happily Ever After". And he deserves that. He was a good guy.
I've been with a "Jenny" for 25 years. His first love is alcohol and he is often off on adventures with her. Jennys are tiring.
I just read on your blog that you have completed ALL requirements for your degree!!
DeleteI am SO happy for you!!!!
Congratulations!!!!!
~shoes~
Could it possibly be P, J and L. (Three Jenny's not one Jenny) Finally, I remembered the last one's name.
ReplyDeleteHave u ever noticed when they come back after a long time for a visit or u just accidentally run into them "They are who u thought they were." And u wonder what really drew u to them.
Someone told me many moons ago "U love me because u are in love with the idea of being in love." He was right. I fell in love with him because I was in love with the idea of being in love with him.
Sorry I couldn't bring up my email. Seems to be a little of drama in my life as of yesterday.
U see I said something to someone that hurt them and I didn't know about it. I meant to comfort him and someone told me he was hurt by what I said. I found out yesterday evening. And he's gone. Gone. Gone. Dead. Dead before I could say "I'm sorry. That's not what I meant."
And so reading this today hurt me--when I found out that Jenny died. I never realized that. I did not remember that. I don't remember that now. How could I forget such a sad ending.
So I try to be a little more careful of what I say to people. Because I can't apologize and that is hurting me terribly right now.
U have got to find a way past this Red Shoes. Somehow--someway--u got to get over ur past and go love again.
Well, it won't do for me to be crying at work. And this makes me really sad right now.
Lives paralleling what does it all mean--
I don't know anymore. I've given up understanding things because it only brings pain in my life.
@ Kalei's Best Friend--
ReplyDeleteThis is the kind of man that draws my attention.
A man that fights for what he wants. U have to go after the woman u want. I want a man confident enough in himself that he confident enough to shove u (gently of course) up against the wall and kiss u and he also as well will be a gentle and kind lover.
I want both characters--a strong man and a man whom is willing to be emotional close enough to us that he will let u see his vunerable side.
I understand ur being upset with ur past companion. This is me--I will take care of u. That means we will work together financially. And unless there is something physically and mentally wrong with u, then u better be pulling ur weight in the relationship. Now, I will give u more care and attention than u will ever give me because that is who I am. A nurturer. I have lost interest in many men when they became whiners of having to do the basic things like take care of one's self. I am strong. This is true. But I've had to be strong. I'm sorry that this relationship did not work out for u. Keep ur heart open. There may be someone else out there God wanted for u that will be a better match for u.
That last relationship did it for me.. It taught me NOT to settle ... and its ok if I don;t meet another.. The ones I met prior the last relationship were basically men who grew older yet still never grew up... I dated a variety of ages.. The ones younger I can see being immature but the ones in their 40's and even 50 were still acting like they could be in their 30's or younger... sad isn't it? or pitiful... Being single isn't so bad, its better than being w/someone that is just so-so...
DeleteChris... one should never ever settle...
DeleteI think you said it best here...
"Being single isn't so bad, its better than being w/someone that is just so-so..."
This is exactly right... the total truth...
~shoes~
@Steven Cain
ReplyDeleteHahaha--
"I'm a sorry as Jenny."
Yes, I can see u are a very handsome man. I've seen handsome men brought to their knees before though by the most unlikely of women.
My hope for u is that someone comes into ur life that u love like u have no other woman.
U don't have to be a "sorry ass" Jenny but at least u recognize it.
Ur comments in the past have cracked me up.
Oops Steven Cain--
ReplyDeleteSorry "ass" Jenny. The "ass" really needed to be in the comment.
Ahhh... We Jennies... Would that we could be content with any one of our numerous desires, just long enough to achieve a some scrap of success and feel even slightly deserved of some sweet, sweet Forrest.Sigh.
Deletewhy just settle for a 'scrap of success'? never settle... we all deserve better..
DeleteUsually what happens is that when u recognize it was a good thing it is too late. Someone else comes along and grabs up what u overlooked. I used to believe u could only love one person. I have found that u can fall in love with many. Recently, two people I was interested in years ago but were not into me I ran into quite by accident and they were like let's get together and I am thinking I have lost interest and just don't really care if I saw them or not. I think that's God's way of showing me see I did not want them in ur life and I want u to be ok with that. It is like karma right. Don't stay a sorry-ass Jenny forever. U r so funny!!!!
ReplyDelete@Kalei's Best Friend
ReplyDeleteI agree totally much better to be single and content than a couple and miserable. I have good family and friends and of course Professor Alex now. All good reasons to enjoy life.
Mates are to be helpmates. Love us. Sometimes be hard on u to get u back on right path. Watch over u. Want the best for u. U lift them up. They lift u up. And u just go enjoy life as u have time together. It really does not have to be that complicated. We make it complicated. Have a life outside being a couple so u don't smother one another. Trust one another. And have a good argument once in a while but don't say anything that will destroy. I don't settle. I am not unrealistic but "I don't do bullshit." As I've told my past loves, u get tired of me and want to date someone else have the decency to break up with me first cuz I don't ever want to know that u lied to me. I am "friends" with each and every one of them today. Sometimes, I don't want to talk to them but I still care for their future. Life is to be lived as though this is your last day on Earth meaning don't take for granted what God gives u today. U and I seem to think alike. I don't do abuse of any sort. Physical, verbal or emotional. And the moment that occurs well then u have just lost me. And heaven help u if u ever lay a hand on me in a violent way because I will kick ur ass and may die in the process but be assured I will not be treated that way. And guess what--they seem to know this too--
Always a pleasure reading ur comments.
Still keep an open heart. Don't have to go searching but keep open. God always shows us the way if he wants us to go through a door. Sometimes, well we are dumbasses and we don't go through the door and we miss out on the blessings he had in store for us.
Yes, I have that one person that weaved in and out of my life for years. I loved him more than I have ever loved anyone in my life. He never loved me. Yet, every time I saw him, I was so happy and when he left, I was so sad. This horrible and masochistic pseudo relationship lasted for six years. Until I finally saw the light. Yet, even now, if I were to run into him (and I have) I'd still get the butterflies, my heart would still leap but the difference this time? We would be strangers...
ReplyDeleteHi there, Yvonne... Your fellow sounds just like my Jenny... she liked me... she never loved me. I was always the one that suffered the emotional toll; never her.
DeleteI agree with your assessment after six years... it wouldn't be the same...
At all...
~shoes~
@Kalei's Best Friend
ReplyDeleteTook a peek at ur blog this morning. And went back in time on ur blog--
Four-legged friends are the best. The teach us how to live life. And I much prefer to be around 4 legged versuses 2 legged too.
Soon very soon I will have to take ProfessorAlex to get groomed. Most think big deal right. However, it is a big deal for him. He was abused and has issues with people touching him or reaching over him. I had hoped that we would not have to sedate him which is what they did to him when they rescued him because he was in such bad shape. Very bad shape. So bad that his rescuer told me thta he did not put the full video up of his rescue. A first for him he said. I have been working with ProfessorAlex getting him comfortable with harnesses and being touched where he knows only abuse. I realized that he may have to be sedated each time he has to go to vet or to groom. I hope as time goes on things will improve. I have a friend whom is a vet tech and we talked about a good vet that could do this and have the most compassionate disposition. However, there was a special request and I was not backing down on this one. I would be there from beginning to end with ProfessorAlex in his being brought into vet, sedation and being groomed while he was out. I said I have to be there. I have to know what he is experiencing and I have to known what y'all are doing to him. Of course, some might take that as a slap to the face which is not what I mean at all but I am unwilling at this point to leave him alone with anyone. People say one but do another. Soon soon soon I hope to be able to find someone that I truly feel comfortable. I have felt on his body and there are parts of his bones that feel strange and knotted like he suffered some type of abuse that hurt him and distorted his skelton. He was checked out but I don't know how thorough like x-rays and whatnot were done. As I find exactly the vet that I want for his care, I am going to go down that road with him. A through exam. He has knots on this head and around his neck. And these are not normal knots. But I am not backing down on this situation. I will be with him at all times during his vet visits and that means I am going back with him. I will be by his side every step of the way. I have found a vet that is willing to allow me to do this so I am looking into her background as far as medical expertise and whatnot. It is a moment by moment with ProfessorAlex. He is filling out. He is by my side all the time. He has found comfort. And even though he is well-fed, he still scavages for food on our walks. So it's ingrained in him now. As well, I hope the abuse fades to a distant memory. In the event of my death, he will be taken care of by my best friend. As I did with Pepper, Patches, and Pepper there was a plan in the event of my death so they would never know homelessness or suffering.
One our ur blogs someone said u were "strong" and u said the better word would be "logical". After reading what I read, I would say "strong" is the right adjective to use.
U and I love two things very much. Our four-legged friends and our love of beauty in nature.
And, as well, we both may remain alone but not lonely and be ok with that--
It is nice that someone else travels a similar path that u seem to be traveling. One can relate to what u are going thru. I look forward to ur comments. U appear to be a very geniune and loving woman.
Sweet little Professor Alex. :))
DeleteHe is my blessing. God knew I needed to be rescued and that meant to be with a living breathing and loving creature that needed love and care. He has a few trust issues. And I see now that I have to be every extremely careful who is allowed around him. He fought for his survival. He was in foster care for five weeks. That was when my Buttons was in his last living moments and my grieving his loss. I am still close to hid foster mommie. I was reading his first vet visit after being rescued and literally was crying when I read his weight. He was starving literally and also they found him in the coldest weather here. So not only did he suffer from no food he had no shelter or protection. I do not know how he made it considering where he was found and his body. I look at him today and he has filled out nicely weight wise. His deposition is loving. He trust me completely. And did the first moment we met. Hid rescuer, Mario, said Alex knew he found his human finally. Boy this is making me teary right now. I love my little guy so much.
DeleteI have been on both sides of this for sure. Great post.
ReplyDeleteBrandon Ax: Writer's Storm
Hi there, Brandon Ax... Thank you... I think we've all been on both sides...
DeleteHow have you been?
~shoes~
I've been a Jenny, had a Jenny. And hoping to recover, any day now... ;-)
ReplyDeleteI would imagine that you would have no problem recovering, Cheeky Minx... ;o)
DeleteI think we've all have had Jenneys in our lives... and have been Jenneys as well... I think you are right...
How are you ??
~shoes~