Random Text Messages...
(Dink - sound my phone makes when it receives a text message)
Dink: I'm behind a guy at Walgreen's that has four boxes of condoms...
Dink: Big boxes.... and he's not young.
~shoes~: Har!!!
~shoes~: I dare you to ask him if he's planning a party...
~shoes~: Are they magnums???
Dink: No way I'm asking him that! LMBO!
Dink: Ultra-ribbed...
~shoes~: Ask him if the ribs are for his pleasure...
~shoes~: Ask him why he isn't bare-backing that beeyatch...
Dink: Oh my gosh, NO!!
~shoes~: Ask him if he's buying that quantity and is just hoping to get lucky...
~shoes~: Maybe he's gonna use them for party favors...
Dink: Or balloons...
~shoes~: Yup...
~shoes~: Did you ask??
Dink: No sir...
~shoes~: Chicken...
~shoes~: Har!!!
~shoes~: Ask him if he needs some lube...
Dink: Augh!
~shoes~: Is that a 'No?'
Dink: That was a 'No'...
~shoes~: Chicken...
Dink: Maybe... I'm eating raspberry jello... and it's really good.
~shoes~: That's amazing...
~shoes~: I just read through the text log...
~shoes~: The conversation goes from condoms to raspberry jello...
Just a random event from a day in my Life...
~shoes~
Hilarious text msg and photos! (Love the song--- simple and yet direct to the point)
ReplyDeleteHmm 4 boxes of condoms? Maybe he likes buying stuff in bulk?
Several years ago my mom & I were standing in line and there was an elderly woman in front of us, she looked around to be in her late 60s early 70s. From her shopping cart she placed onto the cashier;s counter-- two packs of condoms, chewing gum, and a bottle of shampoo. My mom and I kept whispering back and forth what type of night the woman was planning and with whom!
Good morning, Princess...
DeleteNothing better than being simple and to the point!
I love your story about being in line with your Mom and having that conversation!
I would imagine that the embarrassment potential for buying a condom-party pak would be high!!
~shoes~
Four big boxes? Wow!
ReplyDeleteMakes you wonder...
Thanks for the laugh this morning.
Great post!
Good morning, Dixiebelle...
DeleteYeah, it does make one wonder...
I wonder, if after the first use, if one could turn it inside out and use it again?
~shoes~
yep random day, then again wth are u doing in Walmart?? Our Walmart has some of the worst employees and the lines are friggin' long even w/the self checkout...Guess its the dummies who can't work the self-checkout efficiently.
ReplyDeleteGood morning, Chris.
DeleteRandom days are good. Effective yesterday at 2:55 PM, I was officially on Spring Break. The bad news is that my voice hasn't returned yet, so I imagine that instead of great fun and all on Spring Break, I'm going to be visiting doctors...
Blerk...
Imagine being in line at Walmart buying a condom-party pak... and the price not scanning... and your clerk asking over the PA system for a price-check on condoms!!
HAR!!
~shoes~
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ReplyDeleteArrgh!! I no speak computer very well.... I accidentally deleted my comment :/
ReplyDeleteGreat post - I'm cracking up!
Good morning!! How are things in your part of the world today??
DeleteSince you said you accidentally deleted your comment, you had said, 'Cracked me up!! I want to be inside your head....'
I assure you that inside my head, there are some very strange things happening!!!
I trust all is well with you!
~shoes~
Shoes!!!! ha :)))))
ReplyDelete"and he's not young?"
please tell me how you define "not young" ??
did he look like he had a sense of humor? ohhh...wait.... I saw a skirt made of condoms, maybe he's making a skirt?
i hope i can stop thinking about this soon
Hi there, Monkey Girl... how are things going for you??
DeleteI don't know how old the copious condom consumer was... she didn't say...
I'm thinking that if'n he was buying four boxes of those things, he had to have a sense of humor!!
~shoes~
I wish I had big enough balls to buy four boxes of condoms.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's necessary for the condoms to cover yer balls, Steven!
Delete;oD
~shoes~
Well it appears that you are feeling better:)
ReplyDeleteOnly marginally...
DeleteMy voice has yet to return...
blah...
~shoes~
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ReplyDeleteRobin's got a point, Shoes. And thank you for burning that Anal Lube pic in my brain. I can see them going at it now... And as for the condom lover, maybe he wanted to impress your friendly local cashier... Could be, right?
ReplyDeleteHey there, Grumpster... when it comes to images in my head, I don't WANT the image of those two having anal sex...
DeleteBLERK!!!!!!
~shoes~
BLERK! and then some. ;)
DeleteOMG, the anal lube! Too funny. LOL
ReplyDeleteYou put me in a good mood with this post...well, not THAT good, but you know what I mean. ;)
Hey you...
Delete'Good moods' are good things!!
I LOVE the direction that your art work is heading in!!
I hope all is well with you!!
~shoes~
For some reason, this post from 'Cocaine Princess' didn't show. The link is hilarious!!!
ReplyDeleteCocaine Princess has left a new comment on your post ""Why Don't We Do It In The Road???"":
RE: "and the price not scanning... and your clerk asking over the PA system for a price-check on condoms!!"
That reminds me of a scene from The Golden Girls:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kOewRGhtx8
Glad you liked it. That episode cracks me up each and everytime.
ReplyDeleteCondoms. This reminds me. I have to write the story of my experience on a motion picture set when the crew decided it was time for me to be "initiated." I was supposed to be complimented by the task I was given, since this was a gesture meant to tell me I was now part of the gang and had street cred. I think its funny now, but back then? Not so much.
ReplyDeleteHi there, Linnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...
DeleteI look forward to reading it! It is amazing what we find funny today that wasn't quite so funny back then!!!!
You got 'initiated???' ;oD
~shoes~