Friday, January 11, 2013

"And it burned, burned, burned..."





..."that ring of fire... 

that ring of fire..."

(with all due respect to Johnny Cash...)


Shoes:  "Man... that was a tough class..."

Partner In Crime:  "Why? Was it your big one?"

Shoes:  " Well... sorta... nothing like getting ED before class... blah..."


(E.D.?  Erectile Dysfunction?? Before class???)

There's a scene in 'Dumb and Dumber' where Jim Carrey's character has given Jeff Daniels' character just about an entire bottle of 'Turbo-Lax' laxative as a means of getting back at him... eventually Daniels' stomach starts making this horrible roiling sound... just before a terrible case of... Explosive Diarrhea sets in... (oh... THAT kind of ED...)



All in all, it really isn't funny...

Partner in Crime:  'Are you ok now?'

Shoes:  'Yeah... I blew it all out... no pun intended...'

 It's not fun... shitting sitting there wondering if you are out of the woods... only to reach the safety of your office and discover that you need to hurry back...  my greatest fear was that I would have an episode in class...
AUGH!!!



No need to ask... there really isn't anything to tell...
The End

 ~shoes~


Posted by at

19 comments:

  1. musicwithinyouJanuary 11, 2013 at 7:46 PM

    There's nothing better than having a crappy day.

    Ha, no pun intended. :0)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Red ShoesJanuary 12, 2013 at 9:07 AM

      Good morning, Liz...

      Especially when that crappy day wants to happen immediately!

      ~shoes~

      Delete
  2. RobinJanuary 11, 2013 at 8:46 PM

    Egads. I once got diarrhea on a car trip from GA to OH. Worst.Road.Trip.Ever. And it was a holiday. I remember hitting the rest stop and there being this HUGE LINE for the women's rest room and screaming "Outta my way, diarrhea coming through." It was awful. That was back in the day when I couldn't use a public restroom for a #2 job. That was the one and only exception. And it was fueled by E.D. Longest.Trip.Ever.

    I think I broke out into a sweat just thinking about it.

    I really feel for you. What an awful day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Red ShoesJanuary 12, 2013 at 9:09 AM

      Good morning, Robin.

      I didn't get that nervous until that 'roiling' sound became SO audible!!!

      ... and the potential for it to happen n class...

      AUGH!!!

      ~shoes~

      Delete
  3. Ryan BeaumontJanuary 12, 2013 at 7:32 AM

    A Bluegrass group from around here (The Seldom Scene) used to perform that song "Ring of Fire." The lead singer used to introduce the song by saying "and here's to all those hemroid sufferers out there..."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Red ShoesJanuary 12, 2013 at 9:17 AM

      Good morning, Ryan...

      LMBO!!! That sounds like a Blue Grass group I would love to hear!!!

      ~shoes~

      Delete
  4. Steven CainJanuary 12, 2013 at 12:44 PM

    I am one of those fortunate few, whose stomachs can devour e coli by the pound, and still shit perfectly formed turds that smell as heavenly as fresh baked biscquits. Still, I feel for you. Try bananas.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Red ShoesJanuary 13, 2013 at 1:14 PM

      Hi there, Steven...

      'Turds' and 'smells like fresh baked biscuits' really doesn't belong in the same sentence... HA!!

      It's good to see you are still kicking!!

      ~shoes~

      Delete
  5. Introverted ArtJanuary 12, 2013 at 12:46 PM

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I still am not sure which would be the worse right before a class: erectile disfunction or explosive diarrhea.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Red ShoesJanuary 13, 2013 at 1:12 PM

      HA!!

      I'm not sure there is a good time to experience erectile dysfunction, but I would imagine trying to conduct a class with a boner would be somewhat embarassing... :oD

      But so would poop-stained trousers!!

      ~shoes~

      Delete
    2. Introverted ArtJanuary 13, 2013 at 3:46 PM

      hahahahahaha Got me laughing so hard! As for the spoon and fork as an accessory to your chopsticks...I think something can be arranged ;-)

      Delete
    3. Red ShoesJanuary 13, 2013 at 5:15 PM

      I'm thinking chop sticks with the spoon and fork parts duct-taped to the sticks.

      ;oD

      I think that would work...

      ~shoes~

      Delete
  6. JJJanuary 12, 2013 at 1:24 PM

    To Introverted Art: erectile disfunction.

    To Shoes: Was "The End" a pun?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Red ShoesJanuary 13, 2013 at 1:09 PM

      Re:To Shoes: Was "The End" a pun?

      In many ways, yes... in some ways, it was very direct. :oD

      ~shoes~

      Delete
  7. Cocaine PrincessJanuary 12, 2013 at 5:21 PM

    RE: "Yeah... I blew it all out."

    Shoes, you certainly have a gift for words.

    Been ages since I've seen the film but I recall some very funny moments such as the one you mentioned.

    PS: Great Commencement picture of you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Red ShoesJanuary 13, 2013 at 12:56 PM

      Good afternoon, Princess....

      "Shoes, you certainly have a gift for words."

      They just seem to come to me... HA!!

      Re: The photo, thank you! I seldom like photos that I've seen of myself... I'm not all that photogenic!!

      I hope you've had a great weekend!!!

      ~shoes~

      Delete
  8. flying soloJanuary 13, 2013 at 5:46 AM

    Been there.... and, as a teacher.. I feel your pain. Hope your system is back to normal. THere are some NASTY flu bugs goin' around.

    Funny post ... and sort of made me go "ewwww"

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Red ShoesJanuary 13, 2013 at 12:51 PM

    Hi there, Solo...

    ~and sort of made me go "ewwww"...~

    This certainly wasn't intended as a 'feel good; kind of post... :oD HA!!

    There are some nasty flu bugs running around here... really bad. But I'm better...

    How are things with you??

    ~shoes~

    ReplyDelete
  10. Red ShoesJanuary 13, 2013 at 3:37 PM

    Sometimes they are quite moving, Robelyn...

    Some, more so than others...

    ~shoes~

    ReplyDelete

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