So It Goes...
I’ve been to way too many of these lately...
Yesterday, I attended yet another funeral...
Connie had been ill for quite a few years. Connie is the wife of one of my best friends ever. Over the years, Keith and I would plan trips out West, or to the Smoky Mountains for hiking, camping, exploring... the one standing caveat ever was that our trips could be cancelled at the last moment... after all, Connie's health and well being and his need to be with her was more important than anything...
My dear friend, Annie , has even pointed out to me in a comment to a post that I seem to have become obsessed with death and dying. I don't think I've become obsessed with it... it just seems to be around me.
One of the great Christmas stories has to do with the visit of the Magi... and the gifts they brought to the Baby Jesus...
Do you remember what the gifts of the Magi were?
Gold: This carries obvious significance. It’s precious and worthy across all cultures and t imes. It’s a gift for royalty… it says to the Christ Child that you will be a King…
Frankincense: It has been touted for its medicinal and soothing properties… Herbalists say it is calming, restorative, and meditative… Ancient people burned frankincense, believing it to carry their prayers to heaven… It’s use as incense illustrates His role as that of a Priest.
Myrrh: This is perhaps the most mysterious of the gifts… It is considered a wound healer because of its strong antiseptic and anti-inflammatory properties. It’s most notable use to Egyptians was that of an embalming material… and was used in the mummification process… As an embalming ointment it signified that He was born to die for the world. In fact, myrrh was one of the burial spices used for the burial of Jesus.
So it seems that even at the announcement of the Birth of Jesus, there was an foreboding of His pending Death...
Funerals are really for the Living... not the deceased... The deceased have already moved on... they are already on their journey, to wherever it may lead...
Maybe funerals allow us the grieve the passing of a loved one... remember those good times...
Maybe they allow us the opportunity to realize that our loved one is really gone on... and is no longer with us...
Funerals need to be more upbeat... as much as possible...
For some reason, I think a clown funeral would be... well... funny...
I recall 'The Mary Tyler Moore Show'... about the announcement of the death of 'Chuckles The Clown'... and then the funeral service for Chuckles...
More funerals need to be like that... I trust mine will be...
I think a New Orleans Jazz funeral complete with a Second Line would be fun...
Maybe I will feel better once I get on the other side of the holidays... maybe I will feel better when I get my Christmas tree up and decorated...
~shoes~
Death is the culmination of life and a certainty. Like your nod to Vonnegut in the title of this post.
ReplyDeleteThe clown funeral: Hmm....All I keep on picturing is a bunch of never ending clowns coming out of the coffin like they do when they're in cars.
ReplyDeleteThe Mary Tyler Moore reminds me of an incident. I was at a dinner party and right the most inappropriate time I began giggling non stop! I actually had to get up and excuse myself.
I really do hope things start looking up for you, play some Christmas tunes at full blast!! Music for me has always been therapeutic. Feel better.
I'm sorry about the loss of your friend. It comes in clusters I think and as we get older, well lots of things happen to us. For me, when Rich died, the celebration of life gathering we had was more of a remembering of the fun and good times as well as a send off. We do need to view death in a more positive and lighter sense. I think those that passed on are the lucky ones.
ReplyDeletePoor Shoesies! I hope you feel better soon !
ReplyDeleteI will be thinking of you the next time I watch Beavis and Butthead..............
I feel the same way about funerals. I just told Hunter that if I haven't wasted away to nothing, have the embalmer guy cut out all the fat and make me look really hot, dress me like a hooker and I want everyone to bring a candy bar in my casket.
ReplyDeleteAs we all know, as we get older, Christmas seems to bring us all down. Sometimes I have the joy and no one else does so that gets to me too. Hang on, the holidays will be over soon. Peace.
A toast to Connie, who was obviously loved. And hugs for those left behind.
ReplyDeleteI could not agree more that funerals are for those left behind. I remember two back to back funerals in 2008. We let the first one happen to us. The second, we took charge.
Sorry to find you a bit blue again, Shoes. Hope you get that tree up soon. Maybe have some eggnog, too! The good kind!
:0)
Kimber
Of course I too am obsessed with Death and dying. It has chosen me in some way. When I'm sitting next to a patient in their last days, hours, minutes... is when I feel the most ME. The most human. The most important.
ReplyDeleteHi Shoes! I'm ordering my jazz funeral now! why wait til the end. As for funerals.... wait, first, I'm supposed to be writing and I wanted to write about the first time I shared something I wrote, then I got sidetracked, and then I thought I'd check on you and here you are, talking about funerals... so... the first time I shared, out loud, anything that I had written was at my son's funeral. I remember sitting alone, in the immediate hours surrounding his death and writing him a letter that I knew would serve as his eulogy. How I read it, since I fear public speaking, is beyond me... but I know a very dear friend of mine stood beside me, held me up, and I did it. As I walked down the ail, I saw my father, who gave me a big, really BIG thumbs up and I felt his pride in me. I also saw two mothers - one of the mothers lost a daughter - age 12, a few months before Kerry's death and the other would lose her son, age 8, a few months after Kerry's death. I was so focused on them - their arms clutching each other - their tears.... the courage it took to look me in the eye. most people looked away. .....ooops... time for me to write about this.... LOVE you Shoes! p.s. I hate the holidays (too many expectations)
ReplyDeleteoh.. and I have a present for you.... I need to email it to you.
ReplyDeleteThe dead truly don't care. As far as I know, not one of 'em has come back to bitch about their funeral. Funerals should be a celebration of the life lived, no matter how long or short, and for sharing the joy of that person. A jazz funeral would be excellent. I'm planning a rock & roll one!
ReplyDeleteIt is hard not to be effected by death if it is near you. Just remember that the sadness will pass. Now go decorate that tree and add some extra nog to the eggnog!
i'm sorry about your friend connie, shoes. i hope you feel better soon :)
ReplyDelete@ Mohamed... thank you for stopping by, and for catching the reference to Vonnegut. I've always liked "Slaughter House 5."
ReplyDelete@ Cocaine Princess... I DO love the idea of the clowns coming non-stop out of the coffin... that would be so funny!
Do you remember what it was at the party that caused you to laugh so? I would love to know what it was....
Yes, I agree with your recommendation of music!! Tonight, it shall be music!!
Thank you so!!
@ Bouncin'... I've been to WAY too many funerals this year... I had been able to keep things in perspective here until just recently... I'm just being overwhelmed by so much... but things will be better. Thank you!
@ Senorita... hey you... things are going to be better. I saw Beavis and Butthead the other night and thought of YOU! Ha!!
@ Middle Child... Yes, I agree... Things need to be a bit more livelier at funerals... not quite so sad, but then again, it is all about loss. I like Christmas and want to be in a better frame of mind. I will eventually make it!!
~shoes~
I said to mom the other day that I have now hit the age that most of my family is on The Other Side. I have been doing the math and it isn't good. Since I didn't have children I don't have family to balance the scales on this end. Everyone just keeps getting older and dying. I am the young generation and I am just getting older. Pretty soon everyone will be on The Other Side. Yeah, it was happy Christmas talk at our house, too. And there wasn't even a funeral to attend. Of course, my aunt was diagnosed with cancer (again) and my best friends's husband was also diagnosed with cancer. Her first husband died of cancer. And with my dad dying of cancer of this year, death has been hovering in the air like wind in the trees.
ReplyDeleteHi there, Robin. I've had the same thoughts the other day. I don't have children either and my Mom's generation is getting older and older. Life is without mercy, really, and yet I love it so much. Go figure.
DeleteFunerals are really for the Living.... that's so true. We human beings somehow need rituals to stay sane, and funerals is one of them. I can't imagine dying, really, but I know it's the only sure thing in life. I suppose most people don't even want to give it some serious thought.
ReplyDeleteHi there, RCB... You are so correct. I think we tend to come up with distractions to draw our attention away from thinking about Death... afterall, as you said in your comment to Robin, we do "love it so much."
DeleteWho knows...
I trust all is well in your world this morning...
~shoes~