I've been drinking...
...not so much that I can't self-censor myself...
Yet...
There's an interesting theme going on on some blogs I've been following...
Excuse me for a moment while I go check the phase of the moon....
tick tock tick tock tick tock
Nope... not a full moon...
Hmmm....
O.K... now for my case in point... or is it point in case?? Hell... I dunno...
Look here at Secretia's....
Now... Look here at Senorita's...
And now...
Look HERE at Barefoot Dreaming's...
That is what I am sure is called 'continuity'... but I'm not sure....
____________
That reminded me of something that happened to me a few years ago...
There was this woman I was fucking dating in Memphis... and this one night, we had sex earlier in the evening... and afterwards we snuggled and cuddled and stuff like that... and at some point, I fell asleep...
Some time later, a noise permeated my sleep cloud...
bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
WTF?!?!?!?!
And then all of a sudden, I felt this... this... THIS... thing burrowing up in my butt!!!!!
I guess at some point, she had become rather bored at my having fallen asleep after sex... and got to playing with her vibrator... and thought.. maybe just thought...
"I wonder if shoes would like this thing stuck up his butt????"
The answer was...
NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not sure...but I may still hold the 'Tennessee State Record for the Prone High Jump'...
I mean, damn baby... didn't that thing come with a 'hilt' on it??
I mean... how far in could that thing REALLY have to GO?!?!?!?!?!
Maybe under better conditions... I might have even liked it a bit...
But a warning would have been nice...
~shoes~
shoes, you are hysterical when you've been drinking. you should drunk post more often!
ReplyDeleteHahaha, this is hilarious !
ReplyDeleteI can't believe she did that to you. That is never okay !
Poor shoes !
Perhaps she thought the warning was the sound of the vibrator turning on???
ReplyDeleteI don't have a problem with men who like that in bed but telling someone your going to do it would be nice before sticking something up the poop shoot.
A little finger foreplay would have gotten you in the proper mood maybe...
ReplyDeleteToo funny!! Poor shoes... :)
ReplyDeleteI love people who drink and blog. Funny stuff.... Well, I'm sure it wasn't to you at the time....
ReplyDeleteOh, this is funny!
ReplyDeleteYou should definitely drink and blog more often! ;-)
you certainly have opened yourself up to all experiences haven't you.
ReplyDelete@ Jaime... thank you... it's amazing that I was able to make/keep that correlation going on similar threads... of course, it helps that my mind spends a great deal of time in the gutter... no?? :oD
ReplyDelete@ Senorita, Shelly... a warning would have been nice... something kinda like... "Hey... look out!!!!" :oD
@ Secretia... I dunno... maybe... but something that feels like a bus backing into my butt is NOT it... :oD
@ Spring.. hey you... how are you doing???
@ Tara, Pissy... maybe I need to drink more... no? ;o)
@ Bath... "Opening myself up" is an understatement.. ;o)
~shoes~
LMAO!!! My gal has a few "toys" she keeps stashed in the nightstand drawer, but it has never occurred to me that one of them might find it's way into one of my orifices while I was sleeping.
ReplyDeleteKinda sorry I read this. Looks like I'll be sleeping on my back (with one eye open) for a few days.....
She should have known better! lol
ReplyDelete@ Toy Dawg... I think toys could be a lot of fun... I've honestly never had a great deal of experience in that area... I think a nice warning... LOL @ sleeping on your back...
ReplyDelete@ Tee... yeah, she should have known better!!!!!
~shoes~
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