'Shoes... why did we break up?"

Well... I think I will try to write my post about the 'high school girl friend'...


I posted that back in December, '09... that my high school girl friend found me on Facebook... and we started talking...


We talked about all of the things that has happened in our lives during the many years since we last saw each other...


How we each went different ways... how we each got married to others... how we each had two children...  her daughter and my daughter got married in the same year... although her daughter did NOT have a Hallowe'en Wedding... 


She got married... and they moved away...  I would still see her parents around town... I would talk to them... they were family friends... very nice people...


At some point, her Mother died... and I went to the funeral... I do have to admit that one reason I went was to pay respects to her Mom... and the other reason was to see her...  Our eyes locked when we saw each other... and there was that great feel of familiarity... the look possibly lasted too long... if you know what I mean...

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So... she finds my profile on Facebook... and contacts me... She wants to know how I am... how I've been... what has happened over the many years since we last really talked... since we last really saw each other...

It almost reminded me of this song...

This is a live performance... Harry Chapin was remarkable...

Can you believe that falsetto being sung by the bassist

while he plays that bass line???

And those harmonics being played by the guitarist...

We traded a few phone calls... conversations eventually drifted from kids, careers, Life successes and failures... to some light flirting... and eventually she asked me... 

'Shoes... why did we break up?' 

"Gulp..."

I didn't want to answer... I didn't want to tell her that I was left for what was to be a history of a 'nice guy' being dumped for the 'bad boy'...  We would talk from time to time... and she would cycle back around to that question...

'Shoes... why did we break up??'

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~ There were too many smiles... and too many miles...

... but I still remember you... ~

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Did I mention that she lived in Austin?

I had been wanting to go to 'Dealey Plaza' and to 'The Alamo' for a long time... and Spring Break was coming up...  And 'South By SouthWest' (SXSW) was being held in Austin that week... so I thought... 'why not?'

She had told me early on that she was divorced... she was living in one place... he was living in another place... and she was starting over...  I'm not sure what my thoughts were... but I wanted to know her status...

And then as I posted not long ago... she told me she had something to tell me... that they were separated... but still living together...

I had planned my trip... I was going... I honestly wasn't sure if seeing her would factor into my plans...  I left for Dallas... and as I was pulling into the city, she called... asked me where I was... I told her... and that I would be in Austin the next day...

'Shoes... I would love to see you...'

We talked the next day... and agreed to meet for coffee at a Starbucks...

I saw her when she drove up... she was still as beautiful as I thought she ever was...  and all of the years between us melted away... and everything that had happened was compressed into a moment...

We talked... and talked... and eventually headed down town to listen to some of the music at SXSW... and we would take breaks... and talk... and our conversations would go back so many years ago... when things were easier... when things were simpler... and eventually she asked...

'Shoes... why did we break up???'

I would smile... shake my head 'no'... and conversation would drift...

... and at some point, she started talking about other people she had made contact with... she had talked with 'Mike'... and she had talked with 'Ricky'... and she had talked with 'David'... and 'Charles' was wanting to see her again...

'Shoes... why did we break up????'

o o o 'Charles... I thought to myself... o o o

...and she spent way too long talking about these other guys... and it dawned on me... that she's into some kind of trip where she's reliving her past... I wondered if when she talks to Charles... did she ever mention 'Shoes?'

Her phone kept ringing... she would get it out... look at the number... and not answer...  'I have to go, Shoes...'

I figure it was her husband... I figure she is married... I figure she is VERY married...  So I walked her to her car... gave her a hug... kissed her... and told her...

'Good bye...'

I think she understood the message...

~shoes~

"Dreams... Part IV"

Man... I do NOT know what I did to deserve all of the dreams I had last night... I don't know if it is a carry-over from these hives things that have been kicking my butt the past couple of days... or if its residual from the visitation for a family member of a friend... or what...

Last night, I just had one dream after another of funeral dreams... more specifically, my Dad's funeral... more specifically, the grave side service... I would wake up... get something to drink... and go back to bed... and there would be another one of these dreams in a queue waiting for me when I reached that level of sleep...

The one constant in the dreams... was that every time I started to cry for the emotion of the event... of Dad being buried... something seemed to happen to make me stop mourning...  a family member would stand up and start an argument... just an event that would stop the progression of what needed to happen...


In trying to analyze these dreams this morning, I am wondering... that with everything that was going on at that point in time... the death of my Dad... the trouble with brothers and sisters... the troubles with my wife... and the divorce that started up just a few months later... if I really ever did get to mourn his passing... I know that sounds stupid, but as you know, stuff tends to happen in Life that keeps us from moving on in some form or fashion with things that happen...

Maybe it has nothing to do with Dad's death... maybe it has more to do with current things in my Life... things to which I need to recognize an end to...  things that I need to put in a box and file away...

I would have preferred that the message manifested itself in some other way, however...  appearing to me in the form of Dad's funeral is not the way in which I need to receive such messages...

I don't like this dark side... I don't like these kinds of messages...

And, yes, I have hives today...

Maybe a new guitar would help...

~shoes~

"Elephant Man..."

Man... what a night and morning I have had today... I woke up this morning about 3.30 AM itching my butt off... and felt the hives on my arms... I could feel some swelling in my face, but  I didn't realize how bad they were until I looked in the mirror...


I posted some time ago here what what transpired that initially caused these hives outbreaks that I continue to experience...


With the mounting budget worries here at Alluvial Flood Plain State University, the positions of many faculty are at risk... and it was just about the time that this news broke, that I started having these issues again...


Man, did I look like a circus freak ( my apologies to any circus freaks that may read this...)

I immediately took a dosage of benadryl, but the outbreak was so well underway, it didn't help a great deal... I wound up running an extremely hot bath so I could soak... just to alleviate the discomfort associated with it all... my arms... my torso... were lit up like a Christmas Tree...

That didn't help that much with the continued swelling, but it did help with the itching... I went to back to bed... and when I woke up, I still looked like a 3rd level attraction for Barnum & Baileys Circus... I texted in sick (thank God for technology)...


And just a short while ago,  the swelling had gone down enough where I didn't think I would scare women, students, and children... not that I really cared if I scared them or not... just didn't want to look like a freak in my work environment...

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Michelle declared 'Happy Hour" yesterday at 3:30PM, but I had a meeting I had to make... it was pushed back until 4:30 or so... 

At 5.30, I had to leave this celebration to attend a wake/visitation of an old high school friend's Dad...  I behaved... I would have to admit that attending such a function under the influence of three Top Shelf Texas Margaritas is probably not a good idea... but I also didn't want to have to endure the social stigma of being kicked out of a wake by a funeral home bouncer... so I behaved...

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I still haven't posted about the 'former high school girl friend' segment of my Spring Break Road Trip...  It's a hell of a note to experience something like that... and then take over a week to dissect it to really try to know what transpired... no?

A couple of colleagues want me to go to lunch with them... I wonder if any of the places they want to go to offer "Elephant Man" discounts???

~shoes~

"Sex Toys????"

Hmmm... I guess right now is a good time to warn you...


I've been drinking... 


...not so much that I can't self-censor myself...

Yet...


There's an interesting theme going on on some blogs I've been following...


Excuse me for a moment while I go check the phase of the moon....

tick tock tick tock tick tock

Nope... not a full moon...


Hmmm....


O.K... now for my case in point... or is it point in case?? Hell... I dunno...

Look here at Secretia's....

Now... Look here at Senorita's...

And now...

Look HERE at Barefoot Dreaming's...

That is what I am sure is called 'continuity'... but I'm not sure....

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That reminded me of something that happened to me a few years ago...

There was this woman I was fucking dating in Memphis... and this one night, we had sex earlier in the evening... and afterwards we snuggled and cuddled and stuff like that... and at some point, I fell asleep...

Some time later, a noise permeated my sleep cloud...

bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

WTF?!?!?!?!

And then all of a sudden, I felt this... this... THIS... thing burrowing up in my butt!!!!!

I guess at some point, she had become rather bored at my having fallen asleep after sex... and got to playing with her vibrator... and thought.. maybe just thought...

"I wonder if shoes would like this thing stuck up his butt????"

The answer was...

NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not sure...but I may still hold the 'Tennessee State Record for the Prone High Jump'...

I mean, damn baby... didn't that thing come with a 'hilt' on it??

I mean... how far in could that thing REALLY have to GO?!?!?!?!?!

Maybe under better conditions... I might have even liked it a bit...

But a warning would have been nice... 

~shoes~

"The Alamo, San Antonio, TX - 03/19/2010..."

From my journal entry of Friday Morning, March 19, 2010 - 10:20 AM...

"I am at the Alamo... I have wanted to see this forever!!  Ever since I was a boy, I've been in love with Davy Crockett and the Alamo... San Antonio is built up all around it... it is a small structure and already a very long line of people waiting to get into the chapel structure...

It is amazing to be here...

This morning on the news, it was announced that Fess Parker had died overnight... he used to play 'Davy Crockett' in the 'Walt Disney' TV series... what an ironic twist on the day that I get to visit..."

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When I was little, Davy Crockett was just a cultural hero...  As I wrote in my journal, I used to watch 'Walt Disney' on Sunday nights because they would have Davy Crockett segments... I even had a coonskin cap... and my sister (the one I take to dinner several evenings a week now) found some Davy Crockett material somewhere and made a Davy Crockett shirt for me... 

Mom and Dad would drive us to Memphis on occassion... and for those of you that don't know, the Mississippi Delta is table-top flat... but right outside of Memphis, you start to run into some hills... and Mom and Dad would keep us occupied by telling us to look for the 'Davy Crockett Hills'... Mom and Dad were sharp... haha...

There is a long storied history about the Alamo...  The name, Alamo, came from what the Spanish soldiers who were stationed there called it... 'alamo' being Spanish for 'cottonwood'...  It was believed that the volunteers who held the Alamo were vital to the battle for Texas' independence from Mexico.  Among the volunteers at the Alamo were William Barret Travis, Jim Bowie (Bowie Knife fame), and Davy Crockett.  I learned that Travis was only 26 years old when he assumed command of the Alamo and died there.  I tend to think of our military leaders as being 'older'... but then, the average age of a B-17 bomber crew in WWII was only 22... 

The Mexican army... led by Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna, surrounded the volunteers at the Alamo for about 13 days... probably the reason that the siege lasted 13 days was to give the Mexican Army  time to amass the troops that they wanted to use for the attack.  On March 6, at about 5:00 AM, the attack was ordered... and it is believed that it lasted 90 minutes...  

I've seen several movies about the Alamo... the one with John Wayne... and more recently the one with Billy Bob Thornton, each portraying Davy Crockett... although the critics didn't like it, I really thought the newer one was really nicely done... and seemed to be more historically accurate... 

It is believed that as many as thirteen of the volunteers survived that 1 1/2 hour battle, but, since Santa Anna had ordered 'No Quarter'... everyone would die, they were summarily executed... and all bodies were cremated in huge funeral pyres...


There is a great scene in 'Lonesome Dove' where Gus and Call are riding into San Antonio... and you can see the Alamo in the background... Call turns to his left and looks has he rides past... and says nothing... a great moment in the series, I thought...

This was a great trip... I got to see two historically significant places that I have wanted to see for a long time...

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I have mentioned prior, that I had been contacted by my high school girl friend... and that she wanted to meet... and about how I wasn't sure about what her status was...

We did meet... and I will write about that soon...

____________

~shoes~

"Alex Chilton... RIP :o( "

Man... what a bummer... just learned that Alex Chilton died... he was from up the road  from me in Memphis, TN... he was the lead singer for The Boxtops and later had some success with Big Star... he died the other night in New Orleans... and was supposed to have played at SXSW in Austin this week...







'She wrote me a letter said she couldn't live without me no more...
Listen Mister can't you see I gotta get back to my baby once more......'

Damn...

This was my favorite Box Tops /  Alex Chilton song...

Damn...

I wanna cry like a baby...

(Like a little bitty baby...)

~shoes~