Grand Mother Brown

My Dad had a stroke and died about 13 1/2 years ago. He was 90 when this happened. I was in a very dysfunctional, dying, if not already dead, marriage.... but I loved her anyway... or was used to whatever it was we had... that's beside the point.


A few years before my Dad died, he wanted to go "home"... he was born and raised in Southeastern Illinois... a small place called Carmi. When he would tell me the history of how our family wound up in the Mississippi Delta, I always wondered why Grand Mother Brown was buried in Illinois and Grand Dad Brown was buried in the Ms Delta... as I aged, I figured it out... they probably hated each other... And so it goes...


Anyway, on the trip Dad and I made, we visited the cemetery in Grayville, ILL where his Mom is buried. He told me that he regretted the way he had her headstone prepared... He had her name, "Mary J Brown" and the years of her birth and death, "1868 - 1929." He questioned why he did it this way, and why he didn't put her entire name... and the month and the day of the month of each event... I promised him I would take care of this some day for him... I made this promise maybe 15 or so years ago.


Less than a year after my Dad died, my divorce proceedings started and just a bit more than a year afterwards, I was divorced. And so it goes...


Each summer I would promise myself that I would fulfill my promise to my Dad... and fix his Mom's headstone. For some reason, I never did... until this past August.


I've had this strange attraction to his Mom's burial place ever since the first time I ever saw it. I am not sure what that has ever been about. I left this one morning and drove through. I got into town about 6.30PM, went to the cemetery, and went to her grave site. I was taken aback by how I reacted when I saw her grave... I just started crying... uncontrollably... I am not sure what that was all about... maybe seeing her headstone made me realize that I was about to fulfill something important that I needed to do.


I found a stone worker, Jeff, the next day... went to the cemetery... I told him that I didnt want to change anything about the stone that my Dad had placed on it... I wanted to maintain the integrity of what he had done... I only wanted to embellish it... complete it...



Jeff looked at the stone, and told me that there was room between her name, Mary J Brown and the '1868 - 1929' to place 'June 28' over the '1868' and 'Jan 10' over the '1929.' Then he told me that there was room underneath the years to place her name, "Mary Jane Coles Brown." We agreed on a price, he told me he would complete the work, and that he would bill me after all was completed.


'Mary J Brown' seemed to be buried alone, next to some family with the surname of 'Coles.' Now her amended head stone will show that she belongs with the people she is buried next to. It seems to have completed a circle.


I feel that she is now really at rest... that my Dad is really at rest... and that I completed something I promised him I would do.


I have written in my journals a great deal about my reaction at the cemetery... how great my attraction is to this woman that had been dead many many years before I was born. Then it dawned on me... that I possibly could be a reincarnation of her... stranger things have happened, I am sure.


If that is true, that even more so completes the circle that I set out to complete.


I am pleased that I could complete this for my Dad... and for my Grand Mother Brown. I love you all...