"Pin Up Girls..."

Desk Top Posts...

I am sure I saved the one below due to the captions...

I am sure I had something in mind...

I am/can be a rather snarky person...

so maybe this one was for a snarky post.

This kinda sorta looks like Lucille Ball...

No?

This is rather self explanatory...

I'm always making some kind of sexual innuendo...

I just never used this image...

This was for a dildo/vibrator post...

but i think I've already done several of those.

Of course, I always think they are fun... and funny.

If a woman has implants or wears falsies...

would she be upset if a guy undressed her with

false teeth??

Inquiring Minds want to know...

~shoes~

"Desk Top Posts..."

Let me introduce you to...

Desk Top Posts...

I collect images...

I collect photographs... 

and save them to my desk top...

Sometimes I think I save them for future blog posts...

Sometimes, upon 'rediscovering' them,

I have no idea why I saved them.

In order to clean up said desk top,

I am going to create a series of 'desk top' posts

that are designed to clean things up.

This might be fun...

~shoes~

"Mr. Manning..."

Death...

Be Not Proud...

Holy Sonnets: Death, be not proud

BY JOHN DONNE

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee

Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;

For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow

Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.

From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,

Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,

And soonest our best men with thee do go,

Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery.

Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,

And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,

And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well

And better than thy stroke; why swell'st thou then?

One short sleep past, we wake eternally

And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.

I have known this man just about as long as my memory will allow me to remember anything...  whenever it was that I first met him, it was at my Dad's place of business... where Mr. Manning would come to purchase some odd-and-end pieces that he needed to complete some project on his farm.

Always, ALWAYS a pleasant smile... always glad to see you... and one of those two-handed hand shakes... where one has your hand and the other your wrist...

You knew he meant it.

Invariably, when I would go to dinner, I would see Mr. Manning... at one point in time, I would see him with his 'bride'... as he would call her.  She died a few years ago... I guess that is when his daughter came to live with him... to be his caretaker.

I would always see him, his sister, his son and daughter-in-law.  And I would always make a swing by the table to see him... shake hands... swap a few lies about stuff... He would always thank me for taking a few moments to come and talk to him...  I would assure him that the pleasure was all mine(and it was).

Our visits would always end with my telling him, "I'll see you next time."

I went to his visitation last night... 
and his funeral today.

It was sad... but not really... Mr. Manning had lived to the ripe old age of 100. He would remind me of that when I would see him... 'You know I just turned 100...'

My favorite part of his obituary was that 'He always had one horse or another named Charlie.'

A remarkable man...

Mr. Manning on the right... 
and his best bud, Mr. Latham...
who has also died within the past few weeks...

I shall miss you, Mr. Manning...

~shoes~

edited to included Obituary link...

http://www.rayfuneralhome.net/tribute/details/810/Farno_Clark_Manning/obituary.html

"Stupid Is...

As Stupid Does..."

I've done some pretty dumb-assed things in my Life... 

some, intentionally...

Some, unintentionally...

A few weeks ago... the Sunday before the chaos at work that next Monday, I decided to paint my hallway in my house...

I had the paint... I had two ladders... I selected the smaller of the two... the 'other one'... and then got to work...  paying attention to detail... trying to be thorough in my work... one thing about repetitive-motion work is that one tends to get lost in what he/she is doing...

At one point, I turned around on the ladder so I could reach this one area... right up there... (points right up there...) and I am just painting away.

I decide at some point that everything would be easier if I sat down on that top rung of the ladder... made sense.... I've done it before...

So.. I position myself as to where I want to be... 

I go to sit down on that top rung...

... there isn't one... at least not on THIS ladder.... 

I was using the 'other one'...

Remember??

Do you have any idea how quickly it takes to fall about five feet...

head first???

Backwards??????

I tried to find an image of a woman falling off

a ladder... evidently, ladies don't do this.

They just manage to look sexy...

... but WHAT she is doing...

is what I was TRYING to do...

just no upper rung.

Instinctively, on the way back and down, 

I started to curl my torso...

I actually hit on my upper back and shoulders... 

with my head curled up...

... but when I hit the floor,

my head snapped back so easily.

There was absolutely NO way I could

prevent it.

I remember being so amazed that I couldn't brace my

skull and prevent the impact.

It was hard.

The above image is what I felt my brain or whatever contents it was that my skull held... must have looked like.  I remember lying there for a moment... doing a quick inventory...  I could move.. my skull/scalp wasn't lacerated...  no broken arms... no broken back... 

I was amazed at how coherent I was... clear thinking...

I went to work the next day... and of course, that was the day we had the shooting are school. I seemed to be able to think clearly... rationally... logically...

At least, for me, anyway...

The symptoms/signs of a concussion didn't show up until Wednesday...

Or at least, that was when I became aware of them.

(Click on image to better see image)

I saw a sports doctor at the university... he told me that had I been a football player, I wouldn't be playing for a while.  I still have bad headaches... I still have feelings of nausea... at times I do have trouble thinking clearly...  my sleep pattern is all messed up...

People hurt themselves badly from these kinds of falls...

People die from these kinds of falls...

I was fortunate...

I was lucky...

~shoes~

"Dentist Visits..."

Ugh...

Recurring issue with a crown...

So... I lost a crown some time ago... 

got it replaced... 

and continue to have issues with it....

This didn't happen at my dentist...

Do you remember when nurses wore uniforms 

like this one above?

Well... I can't vouch for the garters and the thigh highs...

but I do mean the cap, white dress, and white nursing shoes.

Everyone wears scrubs now... 

...except one dentist I know... 

he wears a camouflage shirt...

whether it's hunting season or not.

I like the idea that people wait until they have an

approaching dental appointment to suddenly

become flossing maniacs...

... as if that is going to make a difference.

Evidently there is more than one way to skin a cat...

This has to be taught in a class in dental school...

pack a load of hardware in their mouths...

then, talk to them.

Do you have any dentist horror stories??

~shoes~

We Are...

Delta State...

If you have ever read this trainwreck of a blog,

you know that I have referenced many times that 

I work at a place that I have often referred to as...

Alluvial Flood Plain State...

A delta is referred at as an alluvial flood plain... 

just a goofy play on words...

Anyhoo...

We are a small four-year regional university that does what it does very well.  We provide a quality education.

We aren't a research institution... you will never confuse us with 

Ole Miss or Mississippi State...

... but one employer told me recently that he has more employees from our school than he does Ole Miss and State combined...

That says something...

Last Monday, I get up... get dressed... go to work... just like I have any number of times over the past 327 years that I have worked at this institution... (I really haven't worked here THAT long... but I tend to take artistic license with facts...)

... but I digress.

At some point, I was getting ready to step down the hallway and harass some colleagues... I feel that in my self-appointed position as 'morale officer,' this is my job.

Just before I leave my office, I hear the sound of a siren on a police car... squealing tires... and someone leaving at a great rate of speed...  From time to time we hear sirens... but tend to not hear the squealing tires and such...

I step out into the hallway... and I see this woman that I know that works downstairs in the dean's office...

'we are under lock-down... there's an active shooter on campus'...

"Oh Fuck...!!!!" I thought...

I went back to my office... checked status through the campus police dept... no alert had been posted... I dashed upstairs to my division chair's office and ask him if we are under 'lock down...'

"I don't know... let  me find out..."

then he looks at me and says...

"Yes!!!"

"there has been a shooting..."

... and the building where the shooting occurred 

was right next door to our building.

"that's all we know right now..."

Well... if you don't know me, I am a 'care-giver'... I immediately went backdown to the our office suite... locked out suite doors... and told everyone what I knew was going down...

We could already hear more and more sirens outside the building...  things were getting tense.  I told everyone in our suite that I was locking the door... don't let anyone in without identifying them... and that I was going to make sure that class rooms were notified...

So I'm off and down the hallway... classrooms secured... doors locked... I knocked on the doors of classrooms where i knew division colleagues were teaching to make sure they were notified...  and I head back towards our suite..

I see this young fellow sitting on a sofa... just reading away... and I know he hasn't a clue as to what is going on... so I go to him... calmly tell him that he needs to get his stuff and come with me... we weren't safe right now.

... so he and I are off heading towards safety... we get back into the locked down suite... and I get a text message that the suspect is a student...

... and then I look at this kid that I just brought into our locked-down suite... and think... 

"I don't know this guy..."

"OH FUCK!!!!!!!"

"Did I just let the shooter into our safe haven?!?!?!"

... so I am going from colleague to colleague...

"Do YOU know this guy?!?!?!?!"

... and no one... not a SOUL knows him...

so I quietly go to my office... call my chair and ask if there are 

any law enforcement in  our building yet?

Of course, by this time, the campus is swarming with local police... county sheriff deputies, Mississippi Highway Patrol SWAT, and SWAT from another county.

I tell him that I need some officers to come and check out an individual... that I may have just put my entire suite at risk by simply looking out for the safety of a student.

He tells me help is on the way...  I am expecting two... maybe three officers...

something like this...

... and, instead, I get something that looks like this...

I open  the door to motion for them to come where I am... 

wrong move... 

I have more barrels pointed at me that I can even count.

I identify myself... show them where the unknown student is...

and they proceed to scare about 20 years of life out of this poor kid.  I feel so bad... so responsible for what he endured...

But I couldn't take a chance.

my school...

So, there was a shooting on our campus... a professor was 

murdered by another professor.

All kinds of lurid stories have been bantered around as to what may have been behind the actions of the shooter.

Honestly, I don't know...

Since it was initially believed that the shooter was a student...

that he or she could still be on campus.

Our building was one of those that was secured and locked down.

I was getting text messages from former students that are now working and employed that were distressed because the story going around one business was that I was the one who had been killed.

I have to tell you that I was so honored by the number of former students that were worried about their past professors and school.

Law Enforcement was phenomenal.

They erred on the side of protecting us.

I saw scared students... some upset.

I love my students... I love my kids.

There are plenty of stories and links out there that can

be searched for more information on this event.

I don't really apologize for the humorous slant to this

story... it wasn't really funny...

... but I have a tendency to put people at ease...

That's what I do...

We are...

Delta State...

~shoes~

"When I Was A Little Boy..."

... and the Devil would 

call my name....

It always amazes me... that when I get an idea 

for a post... a tag line seems to come to me...

and many times, it's a song.

Having said that...

This post is about 

'when I was a little boy...'

And, the Devil has nothing to do with this post...

In the process of selecting photos for other postings or hijinks,

I have found images that I decided to save because 

I just thought they would come in handy.

Most, it seems, reminded me of my childhood.

A scary time...

(not really...)

I'd say 'Now who do... who do 

you think you're fooling...?'

When I was a little boy...

Dad would take us for a ride in the car sometimes.

I guess Mom needed a break from us.

Some of the drives would take us out into the country... 

and we would pass old country stores.

Dad would stop... take us in... and buy us each a 'belly washer'...

They would be in ice boxes like the one above.

At opening time, I guess the proprietor would stock

the drink box with the day's inventory...

and dump ice over them.

Over the course of the day, the ice would melt,

but the water would be SO cold...

When you would run your arm down into the box, 

you would just shudder, the water was so cold...

This is one of my favorite memories of my Dad.

My Momma loves me... 

she loves me...

She gets down on her 

knees and hugs me...

Another favorite time would be when it 

was time to buy school supplies...

We would always get a new box of crayons...

They never looked any prettier... 

any neater...

than the first day.

I would open up the box and just stare at them...

and smell them.

They always smelled SO good.

I had sinus surgery some years ago...

I hate sinus surgery... there is nothing worse

that I have yet experienced.

Anyway, it dawned on me one day that I had

lost my sense of smell...

Talk about a bummer.

There is even a name for this condition...

it's called 'anosmia...'

There is a recommended treatment for it...

Sinus surgery...

I think I will pass.

She Loves Me Like A Rock...

Dad would take me with him when he would go grocery shopping...

I loved it when he would buy the little boxes of animal crackers...

but my favorite treat?

I was addicted to ripe olives...

pitted ripe olives... 

I could eat a can at a time.

...I would stick them on my finger tips

just like the little girl in the image above.

When selecting an image for this story, I opted 

to go with the little girl... and it's because

of something my Dad would tell me.

When he would tell a story from his youth, 

he would start off with...

"When I was a little girl..."

That would freak me out...

I was thinking that, when I grew up,

I would be a girl.

(not that there is anything wrong with that)

She loves me like the Rock of Ages...

My all-time favorite candy bar...

Dad introduced me to these.

I thought that they were no longer made until
I found a display a few years ago...

They are like a Butterfinger...

only better.

What is your favorite candy bar?

And why??

It's times like this... 

when I start to reminisce about 

Life from days gone by...

That I realize how so much 

I miss my Mom and Dad...

... and she loves me.

~Shoes~