"Advice For The LoveLorn..."

ASK  ~SHOES~

I have been asked all kinds of questions about relationships lately it seems... so I thought it might be fun to write about one of these...  Obviously, names have been eliminated to protect the innocent.



Dink: (The sound my cell phone makes when I receive a text) Dear Teach... please write me a note. I want to get out of this date tonight.

~shoes~:  HAR!  Poor baby... what kind of mess do you have yourself in now?

Dink:  A BIG one!

~shoes~:  *shakes head*  This isn't the guy that jerked you around over Christmas is it??

Dink:  No... this is another one... we actually went out eight years ago... He was a jerk... I told him to get lost and he did not go quietly.  Then...

~shoes~:  Ahhh... ye olde boomerang kind of guy.  You try to throw him away but he keeps coming back.

Dink:  He appears out of nowhere two weeks ago and starts a 'Do I Know You' conversation... he had changed so much that I didn't recognize him... until he told me his name.. Then...

~shoes~:  HAR!!!  I'm so sorry...

Dink:  He immediately said, "I was a jerk back then. I have changed..."  I agreed to go out to dinner with him.  Meanwhile...

~shoes~:  Hahahahahaha @ 'meanwhile'...

Dink:  I remember why he was a jerk...  he was a jerk because he asked me a personal question in a phone call that had to do with my body... stop laughing... then...

~shoes~:  See... I would never ask that  kind of question over the phone...

Dink:  No... you would ask it in person! LOL

~shoes~: Of course I would!!!

Dink:  ... anyway, last night, I discovered that he still lives with his Mommy...  at age 53...

~shoes~:  OH GOD!!! You sure can pick them!!!   His last name isn't 'Bates' by any chance, is it??

Dink:  ... and he's never been married.

~shoes~:  That last sentence from you is how most horror movies start, you know...

Is his Mom on the verge of dying??

Dink:  SHUT UP!!

~shoes~:  Maybe he is looking for a Mommy Replacement...

God, did you ever see that movie with Dennis Hopper?? 'Blue Velvet??'

Dink: And now this other guy I want to see calls and wants to go out tonight.

~shoes~:  So you want to go out with this one fellow, but not the other that you agreed to go out with...???

Dink: YES!!

~shoes~:  OK... what time is your date tonight??

Dink: 7

~shoes~:  OK... let's synchronize our watches...   I will call you at 19:30 hours with some news of devastation... which will allow you to haul butt away from there...

Dink:  I LOVE THE PLAN!!

~shoes~:  OK! You're on!!! And you can  escape and go meet the other guy!!!

To be quite honest, I also offered to refer to her the services of one,  Vinny The Torch... works cheap, so I've been told...

Obviously, I made light of a bad situation in which someone found herself... Where does one draw the line?  Should she have stressed herself out over such a situation??  What advice would you have given her???

She DID go to meet this fellow for dinner... and he was a 'No Show'... so it seems that once a jerk, always a jerk.

And... as the J. Geils Band once so eloquently put it...

There's another experience I will write about soon...  

~shoes~

"Memorial Day..."

"It's All quiet now..."

... but one hundred and fifty years ago today, these artillery pieces were bombarding Confederate positions just several hundred yards away... close enough that the commanding officer of this battery was shot and mortally wounded by a Confederate sharp shooter.

Battery De Golyer

Vicksburg, MS

The National Cemetery at Vicksburg had been adorned with fresh flags for the upcoming Memorial Day and celebration of the Sesquicentennial of the Battle and Siege.

Vicksburg National Cemetery

Vicksburg, MS

There are 18,000 graves located here...  approximately 17,000 of them are those of Union soldiers from the Civil War.  Of that number, about 75% are unknown... that's a lot of young men whose families never knew exactly what happened to their sons, husbands, and brothers.

Vicksburg National Cemetery

Vicksburg, MS

The Confederate dead aren't eligible for burial here... initially they were buried behind Confederate Lines... and later were relocated to the Vicksburg City Cemetery (Cedar Hill Cemetery) in an area named 'Soldiers' Rest.'  There are approximately 5,000 Confederate soldiers interred here... of that number, only 1,600 are identified.

Confederate Monument

Cedar Hill Cemetery

"Soldiers' Rest"

Vicksburg, MS

I recognize the honor and the integrity of all of these men who died in this conflict.

Locally, I like to purchase flags and decorate those graves here in my area.  I especially like to focus on those graves that appear to be in neglect... their families have either died out... moved away... something happened.

This headstone pretty much describes everything to me... he was a pilot and he didn't return from a mission.  I've never seen any flowers or any notice of family for this man.

This headstone is explicit as well. It tells us that Private Henry was killed in action at the Remagen Bridgehead in Germany.  This was right at the END of the war.

Bless his heart...

This is a new one for me... meaning that I hadn't seen it before.  The date of death indicates that he could have died in Europe at the end of World War I... supposedly the war to end all wars.

Do the math, if you will... these three young men were really just boys...

This one is special to me.  This is the grave of a long time family friend, "Uncle" Otis.  He and his brother, Glen, went to Europe together after the United States became involved in that conflict.  Glen Crosby, I've been told, held the distinction of being one of the first American soldiers to die in this war.

"Uncle" Otis would tell me stories about the War. Imagine that... getting first hand stories from someone who was actually there! He once told me that his job was to fire a water-cooled Browning Machine gun out over 'No Man's Land.'

He told me of this one night when the water pump on the gun broke.  This meant that the barrel didn't cool... the barrels in these weapons were replaceable, but it was also time consuming.  He said that in the time that it would take to replace the barrel, that the Germans could come across and kill them all under cover of darkness.

He talked of how the barrel started turning red... then orange... then blue... and then white... and he told me that white is the hottest that metal can be... and that little bits of the barrel started sticking to the rounds that were zipping across the fields that night.

We call athletes 'heroes'...  

those same athletes talk about 'going to war...'

I call Bullshit on that...

These men above are heroes...

~shoes~

"Vicksburg...Pt I"

Battery De Golyer

Assault on the Stockade Redan

May 19, 1863

One of my great memories is that of our Dad loading us all up in our station wagon on a Sunday morning and his driving us down the Vicksburg, MS to tour the National Battlefield Park.  We would tour the park... go through all of the great museums... climb and play all over the cannons on display.  I always enjoyed the 'look out' towers that were scattered around the park.  They allowed one to view the sites within  the park from 90 feet high.  These were later deemed to be unsafe and torn down.

Observation Tower

Vicksburg, MS

1909

On Thursday, I drove down to Vicksburg and spent the afternoon going through the battlefield and checking out sites that I used to go to with my Dad.  I spent so much time at the different areas that I wanted to see that I only got through the Union Lines... I will have to go back another time in order to make it through the Confederate Lines.  

There are so many stories... so much history.

Battery De Golyer

Vicksburg, MS

May 23, 2013

One of the locations that I so remember is that of the Battery De Golyer...  This was a collection of field pieces that the 8th Michigan, commanded by Captain Samuel De Golyer, used to bombard a Confederate position, Great Redoubt, that was directly in front of these pieces.

Battery De Golyer

Vicksburg, MS

May 23, 2013

This position was established 150 years ago today (May 25, 1863)... even though Union forces had assumed siege position, this was a hot spot on the Union lines as they continued to  bombard Confederate positions,

This position was commanded by Captain Samuel De Golyer... who was mortally wounded by a Confederate sharp shooter while directing fire from this position.  He was transported to Memphis, and eventually made it back to his hometown (Hudson, MI) where he died on August 7, 1863.

Captain Samuel De Golyer

There was something greatly significant about the date of my visit to the park.  This year is the sesquicentennial anniversary of the battle... it's been 150 years.  On that date, 150 years ago, General Grant deemed Vicksburg to be too strong... too well fortified to be taken by force.  On May 19th and May 22nd, 1863, two strong attacks were made against fortifications and were repelled with heavy loss of life and injury.

On May 23, 1863, Grant resolved to take Vicksburg by siege... simply cut off all supply lines and starve them out.

Over time, the battlefield had grown up with trees... and all of the different sites seemed separated... removed from one another.  When I was at this site, I realized I could see the Illinois State Memorial... not that far away.  I really tried to remember being able to see that from the Battery before, but I just couldn't.  It seems that in  recent years, the Park Service decided to restore parts of the battlefield to its 1863 appearance... trees were removed and fortifications were better defined.  Instead of all of the artillery pieces being aimed at a great stand of trees, now one can see the old Confederate positions off in the not too far distance.

History intrigues me... We seem to simplify history down to one or two talking points, when in  reality, History is very much  like our lives today... very complicated... very difficult to understand or comprehend at times.  Sometimes, it's not what it seems

I always leave  places such as Vicksburg or Shiloh with nothing but great respect for the  soldiers who faced off against each other.

~shoes~

"Travelin' Shoes..."

Gotta get on my ....

Travelin' shoes...

'Elvin Bishop'

Well...

I had talked about wanting to make a road trip to The Florida Keys... or to Utah... where great sights and great experiences awaited me...

I left one option out... that was that my good friend, Keith would want to go somewhere...  his wife died just about a year and a half ago... he called wanting to go somewhere... and wanted my company...

How could I say 'no?'

Of course, I couldn't...

So I asked... where do you want to go??

... and he said, 'Texas!'

So... I packed my shiznit... told my buddy, Keith, I was coming to get him... and headed out for Arkansas.

We made stops in Waco, where we had lunch, and then in Austin before hitting San Antonio.

We stopped and had great chili cheeseburgers in Waco... which I  have been told can be interpreted as "We Ain't Comin' Out!"  They were good!! YUM!!

Then we headed on towards Austin... where we spent some time in the South Congress Area... one of the neatest places I went was...

Holy Fuckin' Cow!!!!!!

This place was cool!!!!

Something funny happened there... besides me almost spending $100 on a shirt that would have made me King of the Cowboys!!!

This totally hot looking woman was telling some of her friends that this guy she had been seeing told her that he was going to have to step away from their relationship for a bit while he pondered her tattoos...

(not her but it could have been...)

Obviously, this made me laugh... she turned and looked at me... came over and put her arms around me and asked, 'what do you think about that, sweetheart?'

I told her she should dump his ass!!!!  She said, 'I DID!!!'

We also spent some time down on Sixth Street... dropping in and out of bars...

Anyway... we went on to San Antonio... and stayed at the Menger Hotel...

Back in the day...

Today...

One of the best known parts and stories about the Menger Hotel is the Menger Bar... where Teddy Roosevelt met and formed the Rough Riders...

The Menger Bar...

We didn't see Teddy, but we hosted drinks and toasted to him... as well as the brave souls who died right next door at the Alamo...

I'm not sure what happened, but I think I got some of the best photos of the Alamo!!!!

I went back at night to specifically get some shots... I LOVE how they came out...

I have more photos... and I may do one post dedicated to the Alamo...

My buddy, Keith, said of this trip... "We had fun!  I got my fun base line reset!"

That alone says that the trip was worth it all...

~shoes~

"Mothers' Day, Revisited..."

I was thinking about what to say for Mothers' Day... and decided to revisit an older post on her.  I decided that there was nothing to add... nothing more to say...

So, I want to share this with you once again... I thought about deleting the last part of the post, but thought, no, I would include all of it.

I  love you so,  Mom.  I would have loved knowing your Mother as well... as I would have adored knowing my Grandmother Brown, Mary Jane Coles Brown...

I missyou each and EVERY day...

______________________________

I had great plans about a 'Mother's Day' post that I wanted to make... I found some photos of my Mom that I wanted to include... but they just didn't scan... 

This really isn't me pouting... but I think it gets the point across...

I've posted about my Mom before... about how much I love her... how much I miss her... I still can't believe that she's been gone as long as she has...


I know I am highly biased, but I think I had the bestest Mom in the whole wide world... but, if you have a wonderful Mom, please PLEASE feel free to disagree with me... after all,  it isn't a contest...

I think that maybe she was 16 or so in this photo...

Isn't she beautiful?  I love her hand-writing... she had the most fluid penmanship... I am not sure of the history of this photo, but to whomever she gave it to, she gave the photo affectionately... she said so...

I hope its not necessary to tell you how many times 

I've cried while making this post...

Here is another... I don't know which of the two photos above came first... but I have memories of Mom holding her hands and her purse just like she is in this photo...  This was taken on Hwy 1 North going towards Grayville, ILL... just north of Carmi, Illinois... 


I sent "GirlShoes" a photo of 'Memom' a while back and she called me immediately... "Dad!! You look just LIKE 'Memom!!!'


That is reassuring to me... to know that I am carrying her forward with me into the next stages of my Life...

This is my memory of how Mom looked...

I like to think that I got my soft-hearted demeanor from her...

This is my Mom in the latter years of her Life... It was made before she got sick... Mom developed Pulmonary Fibrosis...  I remember when my sister took Mom to a specialist... in a private moment, my sister told me that the doctor said it would be about six months... I was thinking, 'Hell... that's not bad... Mom will be up and around before you know it...'  


... and Sister said, 'No... she's not going to get better... that is how long the doctor believes she has left to live...'


I experienced some nonsense in the year that my Dad died and I got divorced, but I don't think I have ever been shaken  as badly as I was by this news...


In going through some papers and all yesterday, trying to compile what all I needed for this post, I found a 'year book' that Mom kept by her bedside during her illness... In January, she would write about how much better she was feeling on some days... that she looked forward to getting up and going again... that she wanted to work in her flower beds...


... and at some point, she wrote about how fortunate she was if she was able to spend an hour or so in her rocking chair...


... and somewhere in September of that year, she stopped writing...


My birthday is on November 10th... and that year, Mom gave me a birthday card wishing me a 'Happy Birthday'... I read it and hugged her... thanked her... told her I loved her... and later told my then-wife that Mom dated my birthday card November 17th... a week later...


 It is a great consolation to me is that the night before she died,  when I was at the house, she sat up and bed and extended her arms to her Mother... calling her by name... I guess that even at the end of our lives, we are wanting our Moms... we want to be with the ones that were there when we were born...

and early on Saturday, November 17th... she died... 

... and She was gone...

_______________

Late last evening, I went to the cemetery to leave some flowers... and decided to drive up to where my former-mother-in-law is buried... I liked her... she liked me up until the end of the marriage...


When I entered the drive, I saw my ex's vehicle close to the grave site... I parked and walked over to her... and she was crying... I guess Mother's Days when one's Mom is gone can be a rather rough day...  She asked me to look at a note that 'BoyShoes' had left on her headstone... He had written her a letter... and translated it into German... and left it for her... I guess she was touched that Chris would be so caring... but he is a caring boy...


She told me that she was going to drive down to NOLA to see 'GirlShoes'... and that she needed to get her tag on her car renewed... that she just hadn't had the money to do it... and I asked, "Do you have the money to do this now?"  She replied, "No..."  I gave her $200.00 and told her she could pay me back whenever...

I don't know why I do some of the stupid stuff that I do...

I guess I got it from my Mom...

I love you, Mom...

I miss you...

Each and every day...

____________

~Shoes~

Adages

Edited...  Well, poot... I wanted to write a post around these two images and quotes... as well as several other images I wanted to add... but  must have hit the wrong button...

Rats...

Oh well...

You get the idea...

~shoes~

"Change of Direction..."

Floral Displays

I'm going to share something about myself that I bet most of you don't know.  As a matter of fact, no one may know... I love flowers... everything about flowers.

I subscribe to several magazines that specialize in floral displays, arrangements, and layouts of flower beds...

I was researching a possible trip to the Florida Keys, I ran across a magazine that has the results of a recent floral contest that was held in the Sunshine State.  This contest focused on Best Balcony Display.

I would like to share those results with you...

The Third Place Award went to a

Mrs. Doris Loftus, from Orlando, Florida...

Beautiful... aren't they?

2nd Place Prize went to

Ester Cohen, from Naples, Florida

And the Grand Prize Winner...

Gary and Sharon Leiberman,

from Fort Myers...

OK...  OK... OK...

Maybe  I was fucking with you a bit...

~shoes~

"Life Is Easy..."

"For Annie..."

Once upon a time,  there was this woman with whom I was involved... I will call her Jan, because that was her name.  I was spending a weekend with her... and if you know me at all, you know that I journal. I started journaling the day my Dad had his stroke, and have continued on through this day.

On this particular morning, we were sitting on her deck having coffee, and I was writing...  she looked at me and asked what it was that required my full attention.  

This is what  I had written:

"Life is easy... I make it hard."

"Life is hard... I over-simplify it.."

I handed her the journal, she read it, and commented that the two comments I had written  were polar opposites.

I agreed with her assessment. They were polar opposites... these were to be my hypotheses... statements that  I wanted to test in order to determine which of the two statements were true for me.

I'm not sure what it was that I was looking for earlier when I found that image above, but it caused me to remember this morning.

The first statement is the one that  I try to embrace... that Life is indeed easy.  That isn't to say that there aren't tough times, because there just are.  Sometimes, we have to act in a manner that is difficult for us, but, in reality it may well be the best way to handle that situation.

By taking the easy routes out of difficult situations, we make things messier, more difficult in the long run, and maybe that is what causes us to feel that Life is indeed difficult.

Sometimes, we need to... no, have to make a difficult decision that will make Life easier.  Once, we've figured that out, and act on it,  we've won half the battle.

If you've read this blog from the beginning, I've been on a journey for Inner Peace...

I think that such a journey is Life-Long...

Maybe we don't get there until the End...

~shoes~