"I Just Had A...

COW!!!!!!!

Today is HELL Day here at Alluvial Flood Plain State University... today is the day on which ALL graduating Senior grades are due by 5:00 PM... needless to say, most of us are running around like chickens with our heads cut-off trying to calculate grades and finish teaching our classes...

This guy that looks like a cross between Chaz Bono and a Leprechaun just  visited me...

Chaz Bono

Leprechaun

So I'm trying to tie up all loose ends... I don't want phone calls from the Registrar's Office either... and this guy strolls in...

"Mr. Shoes, I just wanted to remind you that you need to turn in my grade today... I'm a graduating senior..."

Evil Cow

I just stood there and looked at him... 

Shoes:  "Son... what is today?"

Chaz:    "It's today..."

Shoes:  "Son, I know it's today... all of the profs here know that graduating senior grades are due at the end of the day..."

Chaz:    "I just wanted to make sure you knew..."

Shoes:  "Son, I know your grades are due today... we all know without you all having to remind us..."

Chaz:    "I had asked the Registrar's Office if you had turned your grades in yet, and they told me to come and ask you..."

About this time, I started to think that he had been bugging them for grades... and, man.. if I am busy, imagine how busy the office that is responsible for compiling all grades and determining final GPAs and all must be at this point in the semester...

I figured that they decided to sacrifice his ass by sending him back to see his profs...

LMBO!!!!!

I can't believe I am getting to use this image yet again!!!

Dumbass...

Possessed Cows?

When I was a kid, I would hear my Dad talking to people... and sometimes, he would call them, "son"... and I would just watch and listen...

Zombie Cows??

One day I asked Dad... "Why did you call that guy 'son'... he's not your son...

Dad looked at me with this look that only he could give... and replied...

"It's short for Son Of A Bitch..."

And you know... it made sense...

This really re-defines the phrase, 

'milking the cow...'

I'm not sure why the above image showed up in a 'zombie cow' google search... but it did...

Tomorrow is the last day of classes...

The end is getting here just in time...

MOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~shoes~

"Bull Shit!!!..."

I'm calling Bullshit on this one!!!

What is an academic year without allegations of 'Bullshit!?!?'

It's the end of the semester... it's this time of the academic year that things like 'Full Moons' should occur, because some of the dumbest shit happens then!!!

A student stopped me the other day and asked if I could help him with some things in one of his other classes... I asked if it wouldn't be better if he talked with his prof... he said I made things easier to understand...

So... he walks into my office this morning with his 'worksheet'... I sit down with him and scan the material...

Shoes: 'Which of these are giving you trouble...?'

Dumbass: 'All of them...'

Shoes: '...but you haven't tried to work any of them...'

Dumbass: 'I don't know how to work them... I looked for the answers on-line but couldn't find them...'

Shoes: '...on-line... did you look in your text?'

Dumbass: 'I don't have a text book...'

I just looked at him...

Shoes:  'I think in that case, you need to go to your professor for help.  I thought you were just hung up on a question or two... there are... damn, 48 questions here... I don't have time to help you with all of them.  Run up to his office and see when he's going to be in... and then come back to see me...'

So, he gets up and leaves... and then I get to really giving his papers a thorough going-over, and I see at the top of the front page, "Exam IV."

EXAM IV?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I take the papers and go off in search of this student... I find him in the hallway... and I ask...

Shoes:  'Is this a take-home final exam?

Dumbass:  'Uh.....'

Shoes:  'You were going to trick me into working this exam for you!!!'

Dumbass:  'Yeah...'

It should be a full moon phase... the idiots are running amok!!!

~shoes~

"Me and my mate were back at the shack..."

"...We had Spike Jones on the box...

Back in college, there was this cool band from Canada... 'The Band'...  all Canadians... except for this drummer they had... Mr. Levon Helm... he was from right up the road in Helena, Arkansas...

What a Great Band they were!!!

One of my  most Favorite Band performances...

'Ophelia'

What a drummer...

Or this one...

'Up On Cripple Creek'...

What a performer... what a band... I've been fortunate enough to have seen and heard him perform several times...


And then this one...

'When I Go Away...'

Early in the morning
When the church bells toll
The choir's gonna sing
And the hearse will roll
On down to the graveyard
Where it's cold and gray
And then the sun's gonna shine
Through the shadows
When I go away

Don't want no sorrow
For this old orphan boy
I don't want no crying
Only tears of joy
I'm gonna see my mother
Gonna see my father
And I'll be bound for glory
In the morning
When I go away

I'll be lifted up to the clouds
On the wings of angels
There's only flesh and bones
In the ground
Where my troubles will stay

The following announcement has been posted on Levon's webpage...

Dear Friends,

Levon is in the final stages of his battle with cancer. Please send your prayers and love to him as he makes his way through this part of his journey.

Thank you fans and music lovers who have made his life so filled with joy and celebration... he has loved nothing more than to play, to fill the room up with music, lay down the back beat, and make people dance! He did it every time he took the stage...

We appreciate all the love and support and concern.

From his daughter, Amy, and wife, Sandy

Sighs...

I don't know why this has me on the verge of tears...

God Speed, Levon Helm...

"Goin' Home..."

You were the best...

~shoes~